Saturday, March 06, 2010

The Ugly Truth

As we go through this with Abby, you can imagine there is stress, or maybe you can't.  But there is.  And there seems to always be a lot of stress.  Whether it's adoption drama, moving, physical pain, or simply dealing with a special needs child... stress lives here.  My body aches from head to toe every day from stress.  Sadly, I take out a decent amount of stress on my husband.

I try always to use this blog as a means to glorify the Lord and encourage.  I have thought about stopping it several times and some random comment or email will remind me of what the intent has become (as it used to just be so family could see pics of Abby) and I keep on.  I also try to remain focused on the positive in most of this Beautiful Life's paths and so most blogs are hopeful.  But I don't ever want anyone to think I have the perfect marriage... even when I try to highlight what God has done in my marriage.

Well this will be the ugly truth.  This will be confession so it's all out there.  I am a terrible wife.  My husband does not feel respected and I am pretty much often upset with him.  I hate how much he is on the computer, and I tell him so.  I hate the hole in the ceiling in our dinning room and I tell him so.  I hate it when I feel like he is keeping me from something because he is the man and I have to do what he says, makes me feel like a child, and I tell him so. 

I am tired, worn out to the core, unhappy with myself and my faults, running on a years shortage of sleep, and stretched too thin and am a miserable wife.  Any prayers you can offer on my behalf while you are praying for Abby would be so appreciated.  Thank you... for your friendship.

6 comments:

  1. Been there, done that, said that, felt that. I love you and am praying MUCH for you.

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  2. Oh, honey, we ALL have these days. You are under a lot of stress and so is that hubby of yours. Take a deep breath....I will pray for the wonderful wife that you are!

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  3. Oh, Dawn..such a common struggle that many, many wives face. I am praying specifically for you, as well as for Abby's health, and the rest of your family as you journey together.

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  4. Right there with you! Love your authenticity!! You are not alone -and if it is any consolation it makes me feel like I am not alone. Marriage is a tough road!! You are a GREAT wife - you are still married - not many people can say that!! You guys have been through alot!! I am praying for you and your marriage!!
    Love to you!!

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  5. As I read your post from today...my journal is open on my lap.
    I have been writing about the accuser. How he whispers to the very wounds of our heart. He knows where each wound is and in our time of exhaustion and fatigue…he strikes at the very heart of our wounds. He whispers that we are merely our wounds or the puss of those festering wounds. We are NOT! Christ has come to give us life and to give it to the FULL. He has come to rescue our heart. Come to rescue YOUR heart!
    Do not accept the accusations or make agreements with them. He is a LIAR. You are captivating and the crown jewel of God’s creation.
    Rest…and let those around you cover you with prayer while you rest.

    You are loved…
    The Tuttle’s

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  6. Dawn, those are not words from God. Don't buy into the enemies lies. No one is perfect and I don't think our husbands expect us to be. You are a precious child of the KING! Draw your identity from that and lean only on His understanding! Please know that your whole family is lifted up in prayer everyday!

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts!