The Ugly Truth
As we go through this with Abby, you can imagine there is stress, or maybe you can't. But there is. And there seems to always be a lot of stress. Whether it's adoption drama, moving, physical pain, or simply dealing with a special needs child... stress lives here. My body aches from head to toe every day from stress. Sadly, I take out a decent amount of stress on my husband.
I try always to use this blog as a means to glorify the Lord and encourage. I have thought about stopping it several times and some random comment or email will remind me of what the intent has become (as it used to just be so family could see pics of Abby) and I keep on. I also try to remain focused on the positive in most of this Beautiful Life's paths and so most blogs are hopeful. But I don't ever want anyone to think I have the perfect marriage... even when I try to highlight what God has done in my marriage.
Well this will be the ugly truth. This will be confession so it's all out there. I am a terrible wife. My husband does not feel respected and I am pretty much often upset with him. I hate how much he is on the computer, and I tell him so. I hate the hole in the ceiling in our dinning room and I tell him so. I hate it when I feel like he is keeping me from something because he is the man and I have to do what he says, makes me feel like a child, and I tell him so.
I am tired, worn out to the core, unhappy with myself and my faults, running on a years shortage of sleep, and stretched too thin and am a miserable wife. Any prayers you can offer on my behalf while you are praying for Abby would be so appreciated. Thank you... for your friendship.