Sometimes it's hard
I am tired today. I am physically tired. I am mentally tired. I am emotionally tired. Why do we feel like bad mothers when we admit we are tired? Is it that we think we are weak? Is it that we think we can't handle it? Is it that we think that we are doing something wrong? Is it that we think others may think that about us? Well, the answer is simple... and then some. We feel bad because we don't want to be tired. We are tired... because we are mothers.
And from what I hear, many mothers are tired and just don't want to tell anyone. This is what I love about my mom to mom group. It's a large group of mothers and we break into small groups. We all have different situations, different numbers of children, and different things we do... but we are all tired... and we are all real... and we encourage each other and help lift each other up. Oh how I live for Thursday mornings now. They (our leaders) pamper us with time to ourselves... two hours. They make us turn off our cell phones and they just minister to us, love us, encourage us. They share with us how they have been there and they listen... and they hug... and they smile... and they pray... and they feed us... and they make us laugh. It is one of the best two hours of my week. I leave feeling loved, appreciated, validated, understood, and refreshed... ready for more.
So I am tired today. I am tired from preparing for a long weekend trip, being on a trip, coming home from a trip and cleaning up and unpacking from a trip. I am tired because I chose to stay up and read last night instead of going to bed at 10 p.m. I am tired because I sleep with one ear open (as MANY mothers do). I am tired because I am cramping and just feel yuck. I am tired because we need to make decisions about Abby's medication and it scares me. I am tired because it is hard just trying not to worry about it. I am tired because I try to do too many things. I am tired because I am just behind on life. I am tired because house work never goes away. I am tired because so much still needs to be done.
So I am tired today. Did I mention that? But I am not a bad person, a bad mother, or a bad wife because I am tired and admit it. I am just tired. So sometimes it's hard to list your daily ten when you are in such a mood... but the ten are there... and then some... just take a moment and find them... and then keep going.
My Daily Ten- I am thankful for:
1. The coupons I used to grocery shop today and saved over $19.
2. Finding out that Publix doubles coupons up to 50 cents every day!
3. Not caring that my hair gets wet in the rain that never ends around here.
4. Workout pants that make you feel half way ok when you are bloated and cranky!
5. Lipstick that makes you look alive again in 2 seconds.
6.Children's morning out where Marc gets to play with peers for several hours.
7. My friend, Bridget, who just makes me happy to hear her voice.
8. My Titus 2 leader, Pat, who makes me feel loved when I just see her!
9. The girls in my M2M group who are real and make me feel normal.
10. My sweet Lord, who even loves me on days when I feel really bad.