Crying out for healing...

"Then Your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And Your righteousness shall go before You; The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.  Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, 'Here I am.'  Isaiah 58:8,9~

This is one of my favorite scriptures.  It has carried me through storm after storm.  I cling to it with every ounce of strength I have in me.  You see, I know all about praying for healing.  Oh, how deeply I know it, walk it, breath it... live it.  I have been praying for my child's healing for nine years... nine years.  It is the prayer I have prayed most often, most faithfully, and most desperately.

It has taken me to the edges of my very being.  It has caused me to question my faith, my God, and His word.  It has caused me to question His very character... His very heart.

When we adopted Abby, we had no idea anything was "wrong."  Our world came crashing down as her little 2 year old body started seizing in my arms in a hospital waiting room.  We knew something was wrong.  Very wrong.  We had been seeing signs... glimpses... for about a month.  We had just moved to a new state and knew no one... well... actually about 6 people.  We had moved only two months after coming home with her from Kazakhstan.  And the bottom fell out.

As I stood in a waiting room, holding her and trying to sing her to sleep for a CT scan, her arms... that had been resting on my shoulders... started squeezing my neck with strength that is not inside a baby.  Horror came over me for a split second as I thought she was trying to choke me.  Then I heard it, snorting sounds... choking sounds... and as I pulled her away from me, I could see her face twisted and her eyes flickering into the top of her head... her little body rigid and pulsating with strength.  I  managed to move my legs enough to get into the hallway and started screaming for help.  The memory takes my very breath away.

The next few hours were a blur of activity and pain and tears and prayers and moments that seem like a bad dream.  The most horrible moment came when they needed to do a spinal tap.  Time was crucial.  And they took her in, and did a spinal tap with little numbing.  As they described to my husband that they needed him to fold her over like a football while they injected a needle into her spine and that he could not... could not... allow her to move... I thought I was going to throw up, explode, and go crazy.

Our precious daughter who didn't even speak or understand English was about to endure something so far beyond her little ability to understand... and it was going to cause her great pain.  We had only been her parents for a few weeks... she would think we were hurting her... because we were there and we were allowing it.  I have never felt so trapped.  I couldn't do it.  I couldn't stay in the room.  I had to leave.  I left and found the nearest wall and slid down to the floor in a heap of brokenness, lonliness, fear, anxiety, anger... helpless.  And I fell apart.  Knowing what was going on inside that room... the weight of guilt for not having the strength to stay with her took me down... down to the floor... down to the deepest parts of my heart where I never even knew I could fall.

I prayed.  And I prayed.  And I prayed.  The scripture that talks about the Holy Spirit stepping in and praying with groans for us when words can't even be spoken... that is where I prayed... in His groans... In His arms.

And something snapped.  Peace, determination, divine strength, faith, and hope flooded me and I went into what I call "handle it mode."  The very Presence of the Lord came to me, filled me, picked me up, and guided me through the rest of that time.  I praise Him for how sweet, loving, faithful, caring, powerful, merciful, and active He is in our lives.  I was driven to His presence like no other time in my life.  I saw, felt, heard, and witnessed His presence like no other time before.

We spent a year and a half looking for answers.  We spent every day in prayer... on our knees before Him, as she slipped further and further away from us.  There is no other time, in my mind, when one has to rely more on the Father for the very ability to breathe and function as when your child is wasting away before your eyes and you... can... not... help... her.  Raw.  It is the rawest I have ever been.  Like walking around with gaping flesh wounds and trying to buy groceries... trying to drive... trying to cook... you are almost sleep walking and can't seem to understand how everyone around you can live so normally.  It is another place.  Almost another world.

Over the next five days we are going to pray for healing... physical healing... emotional healing... spiritual healing.  And we are going to go before the King with our prayer requests for ourselves and for others.  We are going to seek and find Him in the midst of healing.  And we are going to praise Him.

Oh Father... sweet, loving Father, we come to You today and we pray for Your healing.  We pray for Your wisdom and Your strength and Your very guidance as we walk through the next 5 days.  We pray You bring to our minds areas in our hearts, our souls, our spirits, and our lives where we need healing.  Take us there Lord.  Take our hand, let us feel Your hand in ours, and lead us there.  We pray You bring to mind others we can pray for who need healing... emotional, spiritual, and physical.  We praise You.  We praise You that you are our Father and You are the Healer Lord.  I praise You that You hear and hold each and every one of our prayers.  And I praise You for being faithful, loving, patient, merciful, mighty, trustworthy, and good!  Thank you.  Thank you, Lord.  Thank you for Jesus.  Thank You for Your Word.  Thank You for Your love.  Thank You for the Holy Spirit and the active power that is present in and with us today.  In Your precious, holy, and worthy Son's name... Amen.  
 
Here we go girls.  I promise... it is going to be good.

"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though it's waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with its swelling.  There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.  God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn."  Psalm 46:1-5~



 

Living lives of forgiveness

source

I was standing in the checkout line of the craft store when my phone rang.  I didn’t recognize the number and so I answered with a hesitant, “hello…?”  “Dawn, are you on the way with our boys…?” asked my friend.

You know those moments?  Those moments when hundreds of thoughts and emotions flood you and you are faced with about 50 ways to respond and you have about 2 seconds tops to make your choice and speak? Yeah.  It was one of those moments.  All I could bring myself to say was, “I am so sorry… Don was supposed to be there 15 minutes ago with the boys… I’ll call and check on him and call you right back.”

It was my lunch bunch day.  I had picked up my youngest and two of his friends from preschool to come home with us for lunch and to play.  My friends and I take turns doing this for each other each week.  It was one of those weeks where the demands of the “to do” list exceeds the hours of the day and I had asked my husband for help.  He was off work and at home.  I needed to go 20 minutes away, to the town next door, to a craft store and get supplies for my crafting activity at my daughter’s school the next day.  After picking up the boys, bringing them home, and getting them settled into lunch… I asked my husband to drop them off on the way to get my daughter from school.  The plan was: boys dropped off at my friend’s house at 1:30 for an on time arrival and pick up at her school at 1:45.  

After hanging up, I looked at the clock on my phone.  1:45. Enter in new mass festivity of thoughts.  “He always does this, he can never do anything on time, I knew I should have just done it all myself, he is obviously going to be late getting Abby too, her teacher is not going to be happy and now my friends are worried and think I am a slacker.”

As I paused to process all of this and gather my thoughts, the lady behind me in line chimed in, “I have had those phone calls… husband?”  Enter in yet another new set of thoughts… “My husband is a good man, he means well, he was willing to help, I don’t want her to think poorly of him, I need to be careful what I say…”  And from my facial expression during all this, the poor cashier asked if I was mad at her! (she did laugh and say she was joking)

And so I answered with, “My husband is a good… giving and talented man… time management is just not his greatest gift.”  That seemed to satisfy her and I paid for my purchase and raced to the parking lot to call him.

“I need to forgive him, I need to just forgive him,” made her grand entrance into my party of thoughts as I waited for him to answer his phone.  He answered.  And then he did it.  He did what I hate most in these situations.  He acted like there was not one thing to be concerned about and that everything was under control.  This is like pouring salt into my little paper cut and causing me to burn wildly with irritation.

He was late… royally late.  My friends had been waiting and were worried.  He had not called them to tell them he was running late. (He did have one of their numbers)  And Abby would be standing in the parking lot with her teacher wondering where I was.  Before I left for my craft errand, he had assured me twice he would do this on time.  And now he thought it to be no big deal.

So as I drove home, irritation and thoughts of accusation kept bouncing around inside my head.  I felt my pulse getting quicker while remembering his “what’s the problem” attitude.  And then I said it, out loud… “I forgive him.”  “I forgive him.”  “I forgive him.”  I repeated this about 15 times while slightly pounding the steering wheel.  I was trying to convince myself that I was actually forgiving him but something pretty cool was happening too.  With every time I spoke forgiveness aloud, a drop of peace came over me.  Little by little, by the 15^th time, I realized… it was in fact… o.k.

By the time I got home, there was just a tiny bit of irritation left and I kept repeating in my head, “I forgive him.”  I did, however, find it necessary to tell him how disappointed I was that he had not done what he assured me he would do which was to do it on time.  I wish I hadn’t.  I wish I would have kept those words inside my mouth.  With that little moment of standing on my rights, part of the gift of forgiveness was taken back.  

But I didn't even stop there.  Since he STILL didn't seem to care about the ordeal... I decided to be the ever giving wife and speak out an apology to myself for him!  Before I even had time to realize what I was saying, "I am sorry honey... I am sorry I disappointed you... I am sorry I was late and your friends were worried... I am sorry you feel it reflected poorly on your ability to do lunch bunch... I am sorry I was late AGAIN to pick up Abby... I am sorry I just can't get this "on time" thing down," came flying forth from my mouth like a mighty rushing river.  And he simply followed all of that with a very non-heartfelt, "I'm sorry."  So then THAT started to get my heart racing again.  I mean really, I gave him the exact words I needed to hear... and he STILL didn't seem to get it.  

So as I scrubbed the kitchen counter tops with a mighty force in silent release of frustration, I repeated the words again and again in my head... "I forgive him."  And at some point during that day, ALL of the negative emotions left me and I realized forgiveness had taken hold of me and I had let it go.  Victory.

 

We are faced with little opportunities to give forgiveness on a daily basis.  The person who “steals” our parking spot, the driver who cuts us off in traffic, the child who disrespects us, a spouse who disappoints us, a friend who seems to have forgotten us, and yet another who takes us for granted, a co-worker who seems to mock us, a stranger who doesn’t receive or return our smile… gifts of forgiveness just waiting to be passed out... over and over.

Today, on our last day of praying through forgiveness, can we pray to live lives of forgiveness?  Can we pray for the ability to see situations where opportunities arise to offer these sweet gifts? Let's pray for strength and humility to let go of our “rights” in order to love.  I am not saying, in any way, to become a door mat!  But grace and forgiveness can go a long way… especially when practiced daily.

As we get close to the end of the first week of November, do you realize we have just spent 5 days in prayer for forgiveness?  Nice job my friends.  I am taken back to this quote time and time again.

The power of prayer has never been tried to its full capacity.  If we want to see mighty wonders of the divine power and grace wrought in the place of weakness, failure, and disappointment, let us answer God’s standing challenge, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not.”  Hudson Taylor~

In order for our prayers to be effective, we must be forgiven and we must be forgivers.  It is the foundation on which healthy and effective prayers stand and the cord through which they flow.  I thank you so much for hanging in there so far.  Forgiveness can be deep, emotional, leave us raw, and feeling messy.  But is also cleansing and freeing. I pray we begin living lives of forgiveness and walk daily in the freedom and radiant beauty it offers.  I pray forgiveness freely floats off our lives like feathers being blown in a gentle breeze.

Tomorrow starts our 5 day walk through prayers of healing.  Please invite your friends to join us on this journey.  If you have been touched, inspired, motivated, encouraged or released… extend this journey to one other person.  I can't wait to meet them.   

Happy Monday.  So glad you are here.

The gift we give...

I am sorry I am late posting today.  I just awoke from a much needed nap.  I love to rest on Sundays after worship.  It is a gift to myself that ends up being a gift to my family for the rest of the week.

Funny enough, and  I love it when this happens, my apology leads me right into today's post. As we start our November praying about forgiveness, we have to touch on the gift we give when we say, "I'm sorry."

It can feel like trying to breathe water sometimes... getting those words out... and to follow them with the question, "Will you forgive me?"  After we have spent time praying to forgive others, it is a glaring reality left lingering that we, too, have been a wounder, we have caused pain, and we have delivered our own blows. 

I was a wounder recently and it was an episode that ended up smacking me in the face and heart. Ironically, I had done the actual smacking.

It was late.  Her words were full of hatred and pointed directly at my heart.  Defiance was spewing forth from her mouth.  I could feel the energy it was taking me to keep myself in control building like a volcano about to erupt into a dark night sky... or more accurately... into the upper spaces and inner walls of her bathroom.  Each word I spoke took great effort to come forth at a controlled volume.  Each sentence seemed harder and harder to speak as she just continued to spew.  And then it happened.  She spewed words and my hand came up and landed on the side of her face.  It did snap her out of her rant but her face seared my heart... causing me to almost crumble beneath the weight of what had just happened... the reality that I crossed a line and violated our relationship... trust... love... grace.  I wounded her.  In retaliation, anger, and pure exhaustion... I became the wounder.

As I stood in my room that night, the enemy pounced on my spirit with full force.  He screamed accusations at me and I wanted to run... run far into the darkness of the night and just fall apart.  I was so tired of trying to hold it together.  So tired of the battle.  So tired of failing.  So tired of the filth and stench that tried to wrap itself around my heart.  Tired of trying to swim out of the current trying to pull me under.  And so tired of looking in the mirror and hating what I saw looking back at me.

Tears streamed down my face as I sent a text to the worship leader at our church.  You see, I was supposed to be on the praise team and sing the next morning.  I stood there, clothed in my own disgrace with my own wounding hand, and envisioned myself standing there... singing praises to the One who just witnessed it all.  I felt sick.  There was no way I could stand there and attempt to worship wearing such shame and sin.

After I hit "send," I sank into bed and cried.  And I cried.  And I cried.

I asked the One who trusted me with these hands, to love and to serve, to forgive me and wash me clean.  I begged for the anger and rejection and exhaustion to be yanked from the depths of my soul.  And I begged for His arms to hold me tight.

I spent the next day in bed... emptied.  I needed to be with the only One who could refill me.  Praise and worship music filled my room as I sat with Him and soaked Him in... refilling my spirit in His word, in worship, in prayer and in praise.  When I was filled with Him again and after I forgave myself and took self-grace in hand... I found the one I wounded and offered her my apology.

I told her I was wrong to slap her face.  That I had sinned and made a very bad decision.  I offered her the reality that mommies make mistakes too.  Would she forgive me?

She waited, hesitated, and then she accepted the gift of my apology and offered me the gift of her forgiveness.  The exchange of gifts was wrapped in healing and sealed with a hug.

We need to be as free with offering the gift of forgiveness to the ones we've wronged as we are with the gift to forgive when we've been wronged.  An ever flowing gift exchange of love and freedom.   

Today, we pray the ones we need to offer the gift of an apology to come quickly to mind.  Reach out and ask for forgiveness.  Pray you can forgive yourself, accept the hand of self-grace, and hold tightly to the One who forgives us as far as east is from the west.  Pray to abide in Him and rest in forgiveness.  Be blessed sweet friends.  Be blessed today.  Thank you for walking this month with me.  It is already a gift.

Floating From East to West

source

No swimming today.  Just rest.  I love and embrace this about Saturdays.  I try hard to protect the gift of rest.  So today will be simple and short.

As I was praying and thinking about today's post, several thoughts came to mind.  But there was one that seemed to dominate the space... resting... floating... in God's forgiveness.

"As far as east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."  Psalm 103:12~

Since our world is a circle, the distance between east and west never changes, it goes on forever.  The distance never runs out.  Forward to the east only creates more west.  Forward to the west only creates more east.  We can walk in a direction... looking for our confessed sin... and it only creates further distance.  I think that is cool.  Sweet.  Generous.  Divine.

As I thought about forgiveness this morning, I realized it may be hard to offer forgiveness to others if we have not fully understood and accepted our own. 

The gift of our own forgiveness too often seems too good to receive.  The motivation behind it is simply love.  Love that is so pure and deep and cleansing that it penetrated realms just to touch us.  Do you know that kind of love?  Do you feel it?  Are you changed by it?

That love is God the Father.  That love is Jesus Christ.  And it is waiting for you.  And 

the forgiveness He offers is just waiting to be asked for... waiting to wash you clean.  Waiting to be tossed into the depths of the never ending space between.

"God has cast our confessed sins into the depths of the sea, and He's even put a 'No Fishing' sign over the spot."  D.L. Moody~

This is no time to turn back and grab on to our past confessed sins.  They are no longer there.  They have been erased.  That is a reason for much rejoicing.  That is a reason to celebrate.  That is a reason to live in gratitude.  That is the very reason we should so freely give it to others.

Let's lay on our backs today... in the warmth of the sunshine... in the gentle kiss of the breeze... and reflect on the forgiveness so sweetly and continually offered to us.  Pray we are changed by it.  Pray we can fully grasp and hang onto it.  Pray we can share it.  And thank your sweet Father for the holy and generous gift of it.

  

Sea of Wounding Words

source

I was eleven, twelve, thirteen... and many of the teen years that follow.  The words spewed at me were often delivered through clenched teeth and eyes full of seething anger... with shaking hands.  I used to stand there, in the wind of it all, taking it in the face, and wondering deep within... What-have-I-done-to-ignite-such-fury?  The confusion would often leak out onto my face and another match would be lit and her fire would rage hotter.

And then it would happen.  I would hear the answer.  Plain as day... in my mind... and on it's way to my heart.  "You are bad."  "You are so bad, you don't even see it."  "Anything good in you is bad in disguise and she sees it."  "Your very presence here is what ignites this fire."  "She hates you."  "You are hated."  "Others hate you too."  "You are alone and no one will save you." "You will always be bad."

I didn't know about taking every thought captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5)  So I lied in bed in darkness, and those thoughts sang me to sleep each night and I listened to them over and over and over.  They greeted me each morning and were confirmed with silent treatments, hard glares, and thick coldness.  They followed me to school  where they invited my friends into the symphony and new songs were born.  But always with the same chorus.

Those words burned their imprint on my heart and I carried them into adulthood.  Their shadow was seen in almost every aspect of my life.  Until I realized forgiveness stood before me, holding a beautiful basket of goodies.  Erasers in every shape and color, soapy wash clothes, and my favorite... the "Magic Eraser" I use to attack the stubborn stains that just don't want to let go of their mark.  She offered a basket full of items for cleansing... deep clean cleansing.

And in her hand, she offered a tiny key.  A key that seemed almost too easy... to good to be true.  It fit every lock on every chain those words had ever wrapped around my heart.  She offered freedom.

As I prayed to forgive the one who wounded so deeply with words, my eyes were opened and grace hovered like a beautiful and gentle morning fog.  Every memory of various situations started going through that fog of grace and suddenly my pain turned into compassion.  

Compassion caught me so off guard and yet it enveloped me and peace followed quickly behind her.  They were transforming my wounder before my eyes.  The cloak of her fury fell to the ground and there it was... her own pain, hurt, disappointments, confusion, bitterness, loneliness, and fear... her own wounds exposed... and they were raw. 

Whoa.  

Simply from taking the key in hand, having the faith to use it, diligently seeking every lock on every chain... not content to skip just one, I stood there in the glory of freedom and unexpected compassion.  And I felt it deep.  And it healed me.  And I rejoiced and was left in awe of His presence.

 

Today, on our sweet second day of praying through November, we are walking forward into a sea of wounding words.  Words that linger in our minds and replay at what seems to be the most random times.  Sometimes they whisper.  Sometimes they scream.  Sometimes we can quickly shrug them off.  Sometimes we invite them in... and they bring along a string of friends who start their own little party in our mind, in our heart.  And they are not the friends we would choose.  They come with smiling faces but are quick to wound.  And the wounds gash deep, most often catching us so off guard, and we have little, if anything, for defense.

What wounding words surface from time to time in your mind, reopening wounds that you had hoped to forget, to keep buried deep?  Go there.  That's where we are going... into a sea that offers beauty and majesty on one hand and a drowning death with the other.  A sea where we find ourselves swimming without actually remembering when we entered in.  A sea where a strong sweeping current lurks in the spaces beneath us, just waiting for the perfect time to grab hold and drag us under.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23~  One version of translation says, "Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life."   And yet another, "Be careful how you think, your life is shaped by your thoughts."  

I love that last version, the Good News version.  It offers wisdom so clearly.  Our thoughts shape our life.  Our hearts and minds are so intertwined they dance together always.  The enemy knows this and so he is the master of delivering wounding words, lies that shape and mold us.  And instead of going for the jugular, he attacks our thoughts and goes straight for the heart.  And he cleverly uses those around us to deliver his strikes... adding an element that extends an extra punch to each and every hit.

Who has wounded you with words?  We need to go there, we need to let forgiveness take hold of us and protect us from the sweeping current just beneath our feet.  She is our life preserver and she will keep us afloat.

All of us have someone in mind.  

Forgiveness is standing before you today.  She is holding a basket of goodies with your name on it... each and every one of your names.  And everything she offers is free.  And it is good.  And it is true.  

I ask you, dear friends, dear precious friends, whom I can see clearly, take that tiny key from forgiveness and walk into your sea of words.  Your Father is holding your hand.  You will not go under.  Do not be afraid.  Fear has no place here.

Pray to forgive the deliverer of those words.  Pray for God to open your eyes to see that person as He sees them.  Let specific situations come to surface.  They HAVE to come to the surface in order to be seen and captured.  In all these situations, speak forgiveness aloud for the wounds given.  Pray that your forgiveness can flow freely and release you from the chains that have wrapped around you for so long.  Pray for strength to carry you onward.  This may not happen in an instant.  You may have to walk into this sea numerous times, but walk... go there... as many times as necessary... until you find Freedom waiting at waters edge to wrap you in her warm towel of peace.

You are not alone.  You are never alone.  Ask the Father to walk this with you.  He will.  He wants your freedom even more than you want it.

Here are some verses that have brought me strength.  If you need some help... turn here.

Psalm 29:11~  Psalm 37:39,40~  Matthew 6:14,15~ Luke 17:3,4~  

 I am thrilled and overflowing with joy with the fact so many of you went swimming with me yesterday.  Better yet, you jumped off the high dive and swam low... searching for pearls offering the gift of self-grace.  If I could meet you at waters edge with a large, soft, fluffy, warm towel.  And I would wrap you tight in one of my hugs (I am a hugger) and hold you for a while.  Your friendship and courage inspire me.

 Walking and praying with you today...

*A small post edit full of mercy... this person was not my mother.

Diving into Self-Grace

   source

As tears stream down our faces, I am reminded how much we need these moments of prayer, this lifestyle of prayer, and each other.  Women gather in my living room, all in the middle of our own battle, that rages against our very hearts.  Sometimes we fall.  Sometimes we retreat.  Sometimes we get glimpse of victory.  But we all hold this in common… we are worn down, chipped away at the core, and depleted.  Sometimes there are no words.  Sometimes there are many.  Sometimes the words are effective.  Sometimes the words cause their own wounds on the very hearts we are fighting to protect.

Gathered on sofas, we cry a sweet release that leaves room for the creator, the comforter, the Father to come in and refill and refresh.  Refilling and refreshing that freely flows from the living waters of His word are really why we are here… searching… seeking… saving.

Forgiveness.

Something comes to life in our thoughts when we hear that word.  What is it?  Do you see it?  Have you found it… that “thing” that wants to stay buried, hidden, disguised, unseen, unresolved and holding onto you?  The truth is, even when we try to ignore it, make it into less than it is, or even deny it… it’s eating away at us.  It is affecting our marriages, our friendships, our health, our thoughts, and our heart. It’s affecting our relationships with the One who loves us deeply on a scale we have yet to fully comprehend.

Is there something even deeper?  A place where we can start?  Can we go there?  Can we swim through the pain and the lies and land there… for a moment, for today?

I read it yesterday… words that sunk deep and took my breath as if they were written just for me.  And they were… written for me.  That is how much my Father loves me.  He uses another to share and speak straight into my spirit and I am smacked by His intimate presence through words spoken from afar.

“You don’t need more self-confidence.  You need more self-grace.” A. V.~ A Holy Experience

“You need more self-grace.”  Words written for me.  Words of truth and love and grace.

In a life filled with moments I like to call “pop quizzes,”  I can blow it and find myself reeling in a tail spin of guilt, lies, shame, broken heartedness and hopelessness.  I can be walking closely alongside pride and think I am doing all right and be smacked with a pop quiz. I can find myself face down in a pile of thick sticky mud.  And I have to make a decision.  Am I going to harbor anger at the presenter of the pop quiz and blame them for my mishap and the mess on my face?  Am I going to quickly stand up, run, and retreat… all the while pushing down emotions that want to bind my spirit and choke me?    Or can I find the strength to pull myself up, find some water (living water) and wash my face… change my clothes… fix my hair… reapply lipstick, and try again?

The answer to my questions lies in one little key.  There is one little moment… an opportunity… that can quickly get lost in the wet soppy mess of a situation… of a pop quiz. 

Forgiveness.

There lies the opportunity to forgive myself.  I often miss this opportunity, leaving the enemy an arsenal of weapons to pick up and later use against me. 

Self-grace.  How is it I find it so hard to walk with and embrace self-grace?

Just this morning, a dear friend and I were talking about this need to forgive ourselves.  This can be especially hard when the pop quiz involves our children, as it did with me in the early hours of today.

She shared that it hurts her most when she finds it in herself to humble herself and apologize to her child, and his response is a simple, quick, and sincere, “It’s o.k mom.”  How can we be worthy of such a simple, sweet, sincere offer of forgiveness?  How can he not want to hold onto it and stew with it for a couple days… hours at least?

And it hit me.  Out of the mouths of babes.  This is what our sweet Father offers to us.  “It’s o.k mom.”  “It’s o.k honey.”  “It’s o.k wife.”  “It’s o.k friend.”  “It’s o.k daughter.” It is right there for the taking… if we can humble ourselves and ask.  And if we can humble ourselves and receive.

As we start a journey of prayer together, it is vital that forgiveness be at the foundation.  As women, and especially as mothers, we can be so slow to forgive ourselves.

I invite you to swim down.  Get that suit on that you look fabulous in, and dive in.  Dive into your heart and search for every area that is waiting for self-grace… every area that is waiting for the invitation of forgiveness… and tell her, “It’s o.k.”

I pray self-grace and forgiveness find you today and wash over you like clear, cool living water that comes only from the stream of life.  I pray you grasp onto to courage and swim down deep and reach out to every area in your spirit that has been drowning… and bring her up for air.  Rescue her.  Bring her to the feet of the one waiting to revive her and bring her to life… true life.

It’s o.k.

Post Edit:  Joining me on this journey through November "simply" means stopping by each day, or when you are led, and reading the post for the day.  It means stepping forward in faith and taking hold of November as a month of prayer.  It means letting the Lord speak to your heart and sometimes walking around corners we may have previously avoided... knowing God will meet you there with something good just waiting for you to take hold of... freedom, healing, joy, life... real deep meaningful life.  It's sharing your story, your request, your thoughts, your hurts whenever you want/need to... and knowing we are here for each other and walking this journey together.  Sharing posts and inviting friends to stop by is a bonus.  The more of us on our knees and diving in... the more pearls to be found and given away!  I used "simply" as a relative term.  There is no form to fill out, no attendance to be recorded, no rules to remember... just courage and commitment.  And sometimes it may not be "simple," but it will always be rewarding.  Thank you.  Thanks for walking with me this November.  Love, Dawn~

November Reign of Prayers

The power of prayer has never been tried to its full capacity.  If we want to see mighty wonders of the divine power and grace wrought in the place of weakness, failure, and disappointment, let us answer God’s standing challenge, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not.”  Hudson Taylor~

I have been feeling the prompting to take on something bigger than me.  I couldn’t shake it.  But it scared me.  Fear.  Fear of failure.  I hate that one.  It’s a big one.  It's the one that stops millions in their tracks and keeps potential buried in “what if’s” and insecurity.  It was so close to the start of the month of November.   

A month of prayer… focused, faithful, and united prayer.  Could I do it?  Really do it?  Follow through and commit to it.  Would others join me?  What could happen in the spiritual realm if they did?  Who would be healed?  Who would be forgiven?  Who would be saved?  Who would be released?  Who would be restored?   Who would find direction?  Who would encounter the Father?    

Who?

This past weekend, at the Allume conference, God spoke to me clearly in several areas of my life.  I am forever thankful and pray I am forever changed.

One of the items we received in a very generous gift bag was a calendar.  I have recently set up a work blogging space and I am about to accessorize the main wall with inspiration and such like creativity igniting festivities.  I pulled out this calendar and was prompted to read the quote on the November page.  As usual, I love these promptings as they always leave an imprint of His love and glory.  

 Here is the gift…

We are called to initiate involvement in each other’s lives… We covenant together to work and pray for unity, to walk together in love, to exercise care and watchfulness over each other, to faithfully admonish and entreat to one another as occasion may require, to assemble together, to pray for each other, to rejoice and bear with each other, and to pray for God’s help in all this.  Mark Dever~

That was my confirmation.  My, “go ahead child, dive in,” from the Father. 

I am initiating involvement… community… fellowship.

November Reign of Prayers will start tomorrow.  For the thirty days of November, you are invited to join together and pray… faithful and focused prayers that will break forth light in the darkness.  Prayers that will transform you and those around you.

The month will be divided into 6 groups of 5 days.  We will pray for forgiveness, healing, restoration, direction, freedom, and salvation.  You can pray for yourself, your spouse, your children, your extended family, your friends, your church, your neighbors, your nation, and all your heart’s passions, desires, and concerns.

You are invited to walk this month with me.  I need you.  We need you.  We need each other.

I am excited beyond my spirit’s deepest corners to see what God has in store.  I know it is going to be good.  

Will you join me…

Walking in faith… this One Beautiful Life… one day at a time.

Much Love, Dawn