So there is this thing this wonderful chick has started... her name is Lisa-Jo Baker. She is seriously cool and you can meet her HERE.
It's called five minute Fridays and she gives a word to prompt us (her twitter/allume/blogger friends) to write. No editing... no pondering... no rewrites... just flow. Today's word is "again"... and I can write on that with ease today... and so here it is...
Again, I am faced with my daughter's fight for life. As she shakes violently in my bed, eyes rolled back, every muscle tightened beyond belief... I face the seizure twisting her face and choking her breath and stirring that wad of emotion I keep buried inside.
Again, I take her in my arms and proclaim the name of Jesus over her. Again, and again, and again. Until it stops. Again, I fight back tears and anger and rage and embrace the promises of the One who created her. Again, I wonder how long it will last. Again, my mom's heart takes the punch full throttle and tries to remember this is our normal.
Again, I soothe her back to sleep and pray for the Lord's strength, guidance, and hope. Again, I call the neurologist to report this new ugly seizure. Again, I ask questions and again, get little unclear answers.
Again, I cling to Isaiah 43 and again, I remind myself He loves her more than I. Again, I wait to see how she will be when she awakes. Again, she starts her day in strength and again, I am amazed.
Again, I remember we once lost her and again, I praise the Lord for so many days with her.
Again, I walk through my day looking like any other mother.
Again, I am not really like any other mother.
Again, we have dinner and I realize we made it through another day. Again, I sleep with her to see if she has another one.
Again, God is sweet and covers her with peace. And again, we start our count at ONE... one day seizure free.
Again, I am amazed my friends do not tire of our request for prayers. Again, I am blown away by their love and the love of strangers. Again, she pulls people into the throne room to meet with God. Again, I am humbled... overcome with thanksgiving.
Again, I sing praises to the One who created her and shares her with me.
Again... we start again.