What is it about this little piece of heaven on Earth?

Is it the warmth of the sun and sand? The sound and coolness of the ocean? The kiss and whisper of the salty breeze? The laughter and pure joy of children? The aura of relaxation that permeates the air? The lack of a time schedule? The happiness that overcomes you in the moment of waking on your own (minus alarm clock!). The streets of perfectly constructed and painted houses? Riding your rented and rusted bicycle anywhere you want? NO... it is all these things that make our visits to Seaside and Sea Grove Beach linger in our hearts and leave us yearning for just one more day!

As soon as we arrive and I start seeing the colorful houses, my heart just skips a beat and I feel as giddy as a child. "We are here", I announce to everyone in the car, "We are here!" Envy also starts to set in as I start announcing, "I'd take that one, and that one, and that one!" The area looks as if you have stepped into a movie set. Everything is so perfect and colorful and tranquil. Here is the house used in the "Truman Show". Need I say more?

On our past visits, we have always stayed in condos in the same area of the beach. But this year we took along our precious friends, the Pickett Family, and we rented a house for the first time. We rolled into town Sunday evening and made our way to the house. I'll speak of this briefly, as our motto quickly became, "We're so blessed to be here... that's all that matters... we are here and we are not in a roach hotel!"

As soon as we walked in the house, we were greeted with a... shall I say... FUNKY smell. We all felt out the moment and could quickly see the house was pretty dirty. I HATE other people's mung. My friend Shelley was the bravest as she leaned down and took a whiff of the very stained arm of the sofa and almost lost her breath. LUCKILY the sofas were slip covered and so within the first ten minutes of being in the house, we had the sofas stripped and washing in the washer! Just a little more sweeping of sand, vacuuming, bleaching and cleaning of counters, walls, and appliances... we were ready to get settled in! That's all I'll say... I'll skip the moody dishwasher and... no... that's it... we were blessed to be there! Seriously... we were. And they let us take Dusty!

After doing our grocery run on Sunday night and meeting the hilarious and irresistible Roofus (drunk man in funny hat letting Shelley and I know we could have had him instead of chocolate) we were ready to hit the beach on Monday. We started the day slowly with a relaxing breakfast, good conversation, and bicycle hunting. Around noon the sun decided to come out for the day and we made it down to the sand. The water was FREEZING. YIKES. I thought I was going to shrivel up when my toe came into contact with the first wisp of wave debris. The sun couldn't make up his mind either and so it was a bit cooler than we would have preferred but hey... we were there!

After about five hours of sand and sun (clouds), we went back to the house and Shelley made her wonderful fresh salsa and fish tacos! YUMMY! The kids were wiped and went to bed pretty quickly and we, of course, stayed up for hours chatting.

Day two was pretty overcast but it was our bike day and so it worked out fine. The poor guys spent way too much time just trying to locate bikes... everyone was pretty sold out. Luckily Fred Sanford and Sons were in town and we ended up finding some wind up bikes. (giggling uncontrollably!) We needed these cool attachments for the two youngest children to ride and...well... poor Shane was riding sideways for a few blocks before we convinced the guys to go back and try again. The owner of this salvage bike shop was really digging in scraps in the back... giggling again! Finally... they found one (without a chain!) that would sit straight and we were off!

Abby thought it was the coolest thing and just laughed as she peddled... it was really cute. I am hoping we can find one of these one wheel bikes online so we can ride trails here at home with them. Anyway, we rode like crazy for miles! It was so much fun. There is just so much to see and biking itself is relaxing. The place we wanted for lunch hadn't opened for the season yet... sad... and so we back tracked and ended up having a great lunch at a little place called "Sugar Pies". Our menu items included Veggie Panini, freshly oven baked pizza, and a chicken salad wrap... all very tasty!

After our biking adventure, we went home briefly to make a picnic dinner to take to the lawn in Seaside. There is a stage there and they hold events almost every night, including plays, concerts, and movie viewings. The lawn is a huge area and is covered with families. Children are running every where. Daddies are dancing with their daughters, playing football with their sons, and mommies are keeping them all in eye shot! It's awesome. I think this is one of the things we love most about this beach... how family oriented it is. Abby and Shelley were getting their groove on! "Shake your booty Mommy!" says my little one.

Day three is really our last day as day four will be packing and leaving. Sadness starts to set in as soon as we awake... :0( How fast these little vacations go by when you are having fun! We head down to the beach again and soak up a little more sun than on day one. The water, funny as it sounds, was actually a tiny bit warmer too! Sand castles were made, shells were collected, and snacks eaten. All too soon it was time to head back to the house and it was my turn to make dinner... sun dried tomato, artichoke hearts, and sauteed chicken pasta with salad. YUMMY again!

As always, it was very nice to be down at the beach. It's funny how just being there makes me feel so differently than I do anywhere else. I miss living in a beach community and I always forget until I am back. We always leave trying to figure out how we can make another trip down in September. But the craziness of life takes us over when we return and we never make it back. But I do feel very blessed that we have been able to go four years in a row now. We never took vacations when I was growing up. I think it is wonderful that we are able to share such fun times and make sweet memories with Abby. I can't believe how much she has grown since our first trip. We planned this trip before Abby got sick again this year. While we were in the hospital, I was wondering if we'd even get to go. And we did... we went and had a blessed time. Abby got to ride a bike with us. She was able to play in the sand and water with her friends. Praise God for His hand of healing upon her!

"I will make them and the places all around My hill a blessing; and I will cause showers to come down in their season; there shall be showers of blessing." Ezekiel 34:26~

Thank you Lord... we so love and adore you.

I LOVE DOGWOOD BLOOMS

We have these amazing dogwood trees in our front yard and they are just bursting with blooms right now. I think they are some of the most beautiful blooms. They also remind me of my mother. When I was very young, I knew she loved them. So my little feet went tromping into the woods one day and I pulled several limbs from a dogwood tree. I took them home and dug a small hole in the yard... just big enough for the stem to go down into. I then "planted" the "tree" for my mother and went in to get some water to help it grow.

There is a picture, somewhere, of me squatting down watering the "tree" with a tea pitcher. But the thought just makes me smile. How much I loved her then... I love her even so much more today.

So here is a picture of my precious dogwood blooms that make me smile every time I look outside and see them peeking through the windows. I hope they make you smile too. God is such a wonderful artist!

Be The Church!

"For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." Galatians 5:13

Last weekend, our church (Heritage Christain Church), did not hold church services! Instead, the congregation was involved in community service projects through out the community! It was the end of the "Taking it to the Streets" series we'd be going through and was really very cool.

Don, Abby and I went into downtown Atlanta and, along with members of another church, cleaned up a city street in a neighborhood. It was very moving. It was Sunday and our spirits were so filled with worship and thanksgiving. As we picked up trash, lawn debris, and raked sidewalks that had not been touched in years... I was so overwhelmed with the knowledge of knowing not only was I trying to bless people who lived on this street... but I was doing it in the name of the Lord. It is such a wonderful and peaceful feeling to allow your hands to do God's work.

It was also wonderful to share it with Abby. She was very much into it and knew we were doing it for God. It was very sweet and she touched many people there with her spirit and story.

So try and remember that we are the church... not the building. We, children of God, are to "BE" the church to those around us every day. Whether you let someone in front of you in a line, extend grace in traffic, smile at strangers, volunteer some time, or send a note to someone... YOU are the hands of God in this world. You have no idea what a simple smile can do to someone. You may never know but I do believe you will know once you are in heaven. If you touch one person for the Lord... that is something BIG and wonderful!

Mother's Day Necklace and Other Ramblings

This is my Mother's Day Necklace... I love it! I made this one for part of a friend's baby shower gift and I am thrilled with the way it turned out.

The sterling silver disks are hand stamped with names, oxidized, and then hand polished. The cluster of beads add color and texture and have meaning! The pearl is for the Lord, the silver beads represent each parent and the peridot represents life (green stone).

I have made several of these and they always sell before I can get them on etsy. I have two store showings coming up and so the ones I have I have to save and can't put on etsy either... :0( So I thought I'd at least post this one here in case anyone wants to order one for Mother's Day for your mother, sister, grandmother, spouse, friend... or for yourself!

I've also sold several with colorful bead clusters that say; "Be Love", "Be Real", "Miracles", "Create", "Believe" and "Faith". So they almost can say anything you want!

Single Silver Disk necklace with two to four bead cluster- $39
additional stamped silver disks are $12 each
Just message or email me and I'll contact you back for the order!

Other Ramblings:

I saw a website last night that has just rubbed me... baffled me... saddened me...
It's run by a woman who is about as raw and brash as they come. She says things that are just inappropriate and she is rewarded by people, mass numbers of people, who read her website, sponsor her, and she pretty much supports her family from the sponsorships and sales from her site.



Now she is talented... in several ways. But what comes out of her mouth is just... well... unnecessary. But isn't this just the thing that feeds our society? This is what had me thinking last night. Here is someone who doesn't need to be this way and really does offend many people... but yet, like rubber neckers... people go back to her site and really support and reward her. Would her site be as popular if she didn't speak the way she does...? Probably not... shock factor gone... 3/4 of what people "enjoy" would be gone. Now don't get me wrong... there are probably as many, if not more, people who enjoy her and think it's cool. Well, that's just another story. Anyway, I won't be going back for more and just needed to speak my peace on how sad it is that we live in a world that feeds off of and rewards such nonsense.

Abby News:

Abby is completing her fifth week of brain balance. It's also been this long since we have eliminated her food allergens. It's been kinda hard to see quantitative results so far. There have been very evident things such as behavior collapses... ughhh. Apparently, with the stimulation of the right side of her brain (social and rational skills) kinda explode and all of the sudden they start buckin the system. Funny enough... we were told this would happen around week three... it did... and would last about two to three weeks and then level off and Praise God... I am seeing some light at the end of this rebellious tunnel! Her behavior the past two days has been remarkably better than it has in about three weeks! Yeah... lets go day three!

In addition, her precious teacher told me today that she is seeing some remarkable improvement in her testing at school! I have been seeing this a little with our workbook pages we do at home, and her ability to process and verbally express more, but to see it coming out on tests too is just VERY exciting!!!! So I am very hopeful and excited to see what the next few weeks bring for her.

She also remains seizure free now for over two months! Praise God and please do continue to pray that He keeps this hand of blessing and healing upon her! She remains a trooper and a fighter!

I met a woman at Wal-Mart

Yesterday, I met a woman at Wal-Mart. We hugged and cried... and we were strangers.
I was stopping by to print some photographs for a friend. As I walked up to the photo printing kiosk, I noticed this woman at the one next to mine. There was a memorial pamplet in her buggy that caught my eye. There was a photograph of a beautiful young girl and below was her name, "Amanda Dawn" and her date of death, March 25, 2008.

As I stood there, the newness of this passing of life overwhelmed me. I put in my camera card and noticed she was just standing there, in front of her screen, staring at a collage of photographs of this young girl. My heart started aching and I could physically feel this woman needed to be hugged. Abby was with me and I kept telling myself, this is SUCH a private thing, don't bother her. So I started going through my pictures and just continued to feel such pain and longing to hug this woman... mercy. So I am fighting with myself and trying to figure out what I needed to do and before I knew it... words just came out of my mouth.

"Have you lost someone special?" I asked. She turned and looked at me and said, "My daughter." In that moment, my heart swelled and tried to come out of my throat and I struggled to say, "I am so very sorry." She turned towards me and continued... "She was my best friend... the other half of me. I found her dead on the floor... you just can't imagine what that's like." I could not hold myself back any longer and just embraced her and we both began to weep. I told her that my daughter struggles with an illness and I have feared on several occassions being where she now stood and my heart just hurt for her. She squeezed me tighter and told me that my hug was an Amanda Dawn hug. She said that she felt Amanda had sent me to hug her because she didn't want her to be sad.

We talked, hugged, and cried a little more and then we went our seperate ways. Her name is Judy. She has lost her precious daughter whom she simply said was very sick. She was 21 years old. She told me she feared she'd not done enough for her daughter and I begged her not to blame herself and reminded her that Amanda was and had been in the Saviors hand. She said she found comfort in knowing that Amanda had seen the face of God and was being comforted and loved.

Please say a prayer for this precious mother. As I watched her walk across the parking lot... I was overcome at how she was just trying to get through the day... trying to act normal in the midst of such loss and my heart was and continues to be so saddened for her. So I am asking for prayers for this precious woman, Judy. Please pray that she will see God each and every day and with each day she gets through, God will give her more and more comfort, strength, and peace.

A Burden Lifted Today!

I hadn't really understood how much pressure I was enduring until I heard the words, "You don't have an unstable spine" today. Oh PRAISE the Lord. I guess I was just internalizing the stress because once I got into the car I almost just broke into pieces at the relief of not having to have rods and pins put in my neck!

So the MRI shows two vertebrae degenerating. That's a bummer and genetic and there isn't anything I can really do to make it stop. But I am going to start physical therapy and have been given the go ahead on being active again!

So to celebrate, I am going to buy this gorgeous photograph from one of my favorite etsy artists... http://www.phoebec.etsy.com I have been ooogling it for a while and I just want to stare at it for hours!

Welcome Spring! My NECK is going to stay on!!!!!!!!

NO HOUSE FOR YOU!

Well, we aren't moving into the house of my dreams... (Oh so dramatic!). The sellers decided to stay (God's sense of humor in full force!). Yes, I guess they realized what a great house they had, how wonderful the laundry room was on the second floor, how beautiful the craftsman trim was, and how open the living space... and decided to stay. Naw... really, their story is they told their kids the deal might not happen and they rejoiced. They told them they didn't want to move and leave their friends. So they are staying. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Anyway, back to... well... limbo where we normally remain with much in our lives right now... (drama alert again... can you tell I am tired and pouting!?)

In the mean time... this new bracelet I made makes me very happy!

Coffee Woes and Other Such Nonsense

I am perplexed as to why I can't make a good pot or cup of coffee anymore. Once upon a time, I eagerly anticipated my morning cup of coffee. Now it feels like I am trying to solve some trig problem or something. I mean really, how hard is it to make a good pot of coffee? How can you once be so good at something like that and then lose it!? It's like forgetting how to boil water or something... which luckily I can still do.

So the past several mornings my cup of coffee has gone into the sink as it tastes... bad. I have even dumped the pot and tried a whole new pot. Bad again. So it's either the coffee out to get me... or my neck pain has caused me to lose all sense and know how of coffee making.

So after two glasses of chocolate soy milk, I am over wanting coffee this morning. And on another note... we may not get this house we want. We should know today. If it's a no... I am going to struggle. But I will know it's God's will and that it's for the best. But I still won't be happy.

Now I am off to, yes, clean and declutter more AND dive into my taxes.... I'd rather gather Dusty's droppings from outside than do these taxes and inventory.

If you feel the need for cheese with all this whine/wine.... try a nice mozzarella with basil and sun dried tomatoes on some olive oil toasted freshly baked bread from your local bakery. :0)

Horton Hears A Who

We have been working like mad hatters this past week to get our house ready to put on the market. I have decluttered closets like never before. I am proud of my husband for following suit in his closet, although he has no clothes left!

So yesterday was a "Girl's Day" for Abby and I and we went to see "Horton Hears A Who". It was wonderful. It always delights me to go to the movies with Abby. The theatre is a bustle with little voices whispering, "Is it starting yet mommy?" and "There he is! There's Horton!". The excitement of so many little ones is just adorable. To see little boys walking hand in hand with their daddy's just brings a smile to my heart!

The movie was wonderful in every sense of the word. It was truly a classic (to be) children's movie without the raw "adult" humor permeating every other line. The color was fabulous, the characters were very lovable, and the story was precious. It will be a purchase when it comes to dvd. As we walked out of the theatre, Abby said, "Thank you mommy for the movie... can I have it for my birthday?" Yes, you can little one! I can't tell you how many movies have been put in the thrift store box after being purchased and I did call Wal-Mart back to give them a head's up on my return of "Hunchback of Nortre Dame". Mercy, that movie was so dark and full of evil and sexuality.

OK. On to other things... our house has never looked better! After watching the market for a couple of years, getting numerous estimates on projects for this one, and the twists of life... we have decided not to keep pouring money into this one and to move and simplify. I am excited and nervous at the same time. We live in a wonderful neighborhood and since we have lived on two streets of the neighborhood, we know at least a fifth of the people in it! There is a mix of new families and people who have been here since the beginning. It's also in a great location and we can get anywhere on our golf cart.

Having said that, we have lived in fixer uppers and older homes for a while now and we are looking forward to a change. We are in the contract back and forths on a three year old house that we both love. It's not the best time to sell by any means, but it is a good time to buy. So we are hoping they will balance each other out ok and that God will continue to lead us on this path. We are going to counter a counter offer tonight and hopefully we'll know by tomorrow night if we get the house! I'll keep you posted.

God Glorified.... Only in the South...

How fortunate we are to live in the South where God is more freely spoken of than many parts of this country. As I mentioned before, I have really been convicted lately to share the stories of the major things God has done in my/our life/lives. I have received some major confirmation for this and feel it is what God wants me to do.

So with the help of a very wonderful reporter at our local newspaper, Ben Nelms at the Citizen, God has been glorified and praised openly for what He has done in Abby's life. You can read his powerful and God-filled article at http://www.thecitizen.com/node/26362 . When I read it online last night, I was so overwhelmed at the boldness and extent Ben spoke of God in all of this. I had told him I wanted it to be the largest theme in the story and I feel he delivered past my expectations.

For those of you who really know us, I told Ben that we felt the vaccines Abby received caused the onset of her initial downward spiral. I didn't mention the additive that was in the vaccines at the time because we never researched that... we were so busy in trying to manage and figure out what was going on... we just stop immunizing her. So anyway, he is going to have a clarification added to the website article about that.

God never promises us a bed of roses... hey that's a song. But the promise He gives us over and over is that He will never leave us and that He will walk with us and that He will carry our burden and that He has already won the battle... just trust in Him... and that He is soveriegn and that ALL THINGS... not some, or many, or most... ALL THINGS come together for GOOD for those who love the Lord. "Good" does not always mean healing, it doesn't mean that we will get our way or what we want or even pray for... it means "good" in the overall and eternal picture. It means "good" as in the fact that God brings beauty from ashes and can be glorified even in the darkest of times... HE IS THERE... that is "good" in itself. "Knowing" God in those times is also "good".

A Note of Encouragement

This is an alert for mushiness to follow! We had an amazing sermon yesterday. It was on seeing with God's eyes and even more so with His heart. It was powerful and challenging and I was moved to write the following letter to our pastor.

I have been very moved lately that God has and continues to do such amazing and big things in my life and it is my desire and heart to use them to glorfiy the Lord and proclaim boldly the power He uses in our daily lives. So I was prompted to share the letter here on my blog. This is one of the outlets I have to proclaim God's love and power and so I hope you are encouraged and that my gracious, precious and loving Father in heaven is glorified... PRAISE HIM.

Dear Greg,

I wanted to tell you how much I appreciated and related to your sermon yesterday. I also wanted to share something with you. Hopefully it will encourage you.

God opened my eyes and gave me clearer vision in February of 2007. It was a very dark time for me as Abby had unexpectantly started having seizures again just two months prior. Don had sent me “home” to stay a week with my parents for some “down time”. It was my hope that rest and the love of my family would help refresh and encourage me during such an uncertain and challenging time.

In addition to being emotionally spent from Abby’s illness and the rollercoaster it kept us on, it was no secret that my marriage was suffering as well. One of the main goals of my trip was to speak with one of my spiritual mentors and counselors who lived in Winchester. I met with him the second day I was there and started unloading my list of pains. He has such a heart for the Lord and such knowledge of His truths, just talking to him alone has often made me feel better in the past.

After laying it all out on the table, so to speak, he looked at me and simply said, “Dawn, in all this pain I see one glaring reality that is the heart of this turmoil… I feel that with your knowledge of God’s word and your faith that you “believe” God loves you and has forgiven you, but you do not “know” this… you can not “see” this in your life and it creates a constant turmoil in your spirit that is just wearing you out.” He spoke as if the Holy Spirit were telling me exactly what was wrong and I realized he’d nailed it. In tears I asked him what in the world I could do about it. He suggested that he would like to lay hands on me with two or more people who really loved me and pray for spiritual healing and for my eyes to be uncovered so I could see the love and grace God has for me.

The next day, my parents and I sat in his office for a few hours and prayed and prayed and cried and sobbed and prayed. Words were spoken, wounds were revealed and healing began. It was one of the most intimate experiences with the Holy Spirit I have ever had and it changed my life and was the TURNING point in my marriage. From that “session”, I was able to see my parent’s unconditional love for me for the FIRST time in my life. Upon seeing and “knowing” this love, I was able to comprehend and imagine God’s unconditional love for me. My past loves had always been performance based, conditional, and sometimes taken away.

On the plane ride home, I started asking God how I could use what He’d shown me in my marriage. And right there, that moment in my seat, He suddenly opened my eyes. In my marriage, I had always been able to see myself as one who was struggling to make it work, struggling to become closer to God and struggling to be obedient to God and just struggling in general… but I had NEVER seen my husband through that same filter. Satan had so filled me with lies that when I saw my husband, I saw someone who judged me, was out to damage me, waiting for me to disappointment him, control me… basically I saw an enemy. My eyes opened in such an instant that I started to cry as I saw him as God sees him. I saw a little boy, who carried his own hurts and pains through childhood and tried to figure out how to make it work. I saw a little boy who was struggling to be a man of God in a world full of distractions and lies. I saw a man trying to love a woman who pushed him away, didn’t trust him, didn’t respect him, and often didn’t like him. I was able to see the grace and forgiveness and love he had given me time and time again that I had been so flippant with and often destructive. I was humbled and convicted to the core that I had hurt him and failed with what God had trusted me to do. God chose this man for me because He trusted me to BE HIS LOVE to him. Christ lives inside me and when Christ wants to physically love Don, He does so through me.

I was so overcome with my own sin and blindness that I could hardly breathe… and I vowed to never lose sight of him, through God’s eyes. This “sight” in itself has given me a heart of compassion, love, tenderness and understanding for my husband that I have never had before in the 15 years we’ve been together. This sight is something I cling to with both hands and pray that God always blesses me with. Satan tries to come in with his lies and distractions and tries with all his might to cloud this vision. But my God is strong and HE has already won this battle and with His help and guidance and protection, my eyes will continue to see.

Thank you for your sermon. Thank you for your passion and your heart and the love you have for people. People have to know they are missing something before they can pray for God to deliver them from or to it. You gave clear sight to the fact that many of us are missing God’s eyes. I pray that many who heard your words will pray for God to give them eyes to see as He sees because with this, lives will be transformed.

IN His PRECIOUS and GRACIOUS Love,
Dawn Sullivan

A call for my prayer warriors

I got some not so great news today from my chiropractor. The additional x-rays they took appear to confirm a condition they were hoping to rule out called unstable spine. Basically, on top of two of my vertebrae degenerating and two bone spurs... I have three vertebrae that move out of spinal alignment when I move my neck.

What that means is pain... knew that already... and things getting pinched and pulled and aggravated... which leads to swelling and headaches and such. But what it also means is that any sudden movement, jerk, or ect... could be very dangerous... including damaging the spinal cord and leading to things such as paralysis.

So... my MRI is scheduled for March 14. Until then, I can not have my neck adjusted anymore, have to be very low in activity, and wear a neck brace during activities that could involve sudden movement of my neck. Icing is also helping the swelling and is relieving some of that pain. I also revamped my bed with a 2 inch nova foam topper and got a nice pillow and so I am sleeping better and able to remain on my back.

If the MRI confirms what these x-rays are suggesting, I may need surgery to have pins put into place to try and stabilize these three bones.

So, there is my "day in the life of" for this morning. :0)

I am relieved to have some explanation for the episodes and pain I have been having. But I am nervous and a little scared about what is ahead. BUT, my God is good and sovereign and has shown me time and time and TIME again that HE can move mountains, heal the sick, bring children back from the clutches of darkness and I KNOW He will deliver me through this. I praise HIM for what He has shown me in my life to strengthen my faith. It is this knowledge and hope that comforts and strengthens me now. How THANKFUL I am to have Him as my father, friend, savior, healer, and refuge!

Please pray I can remain focused on these truths and have strength to endure the next few miles on this road ahead. Please also pray for wisdom for the doctors involved and clear guidance in what can and should be done.

Thank you so very much for your faithfulness in praying for my family. Thank you for your friendships and for your trust in the Lord. Much love... Dawn

My Latest and Greatest

Wow. I have had a day today. It is the second day in a row in the past two weeks that I am feeling better, actually good. That is a blessing and I am very thankful... Thank you God.

In honor of my cousin, Teecy, who has blogged a "day in the life" I am sharing my day today. She and her friends are doing this on their blogs and so Teece... this day was for you!

5 a.m. Awake to an all too familiar sound of Abby awaking for the day and wanting to get up.

5:30 a.m. Plead with Abby to stay in bed another hour and "Let mommy sleep."

6:30 a.m. Get phone call from my precious husband to rise and shine, as he is already on the road for his trip.

6:40 a.m. Get up and start Abby's morning routine for getting ready for school.

7:30 a.m. Grab Abby's jacket and announce it is time to go. Abby replies, " I need to go .... doo doo." Of course... "Go, go, go... please hurry, I don't want you to be late," I answer. I hear the toilet flush first, Abby needs a fresh bowl, and then nothing.... nothing... nothing. "Abby, what are you doing in there?" I ask. She opens the door and looks out and says, "I want to go potty in my bathroom." "No, you are in this bathroom, I don't have time for these games, just go to the bathroom ABBY," replies the now anxious mommy! She closes the door... and still... nothing.
After several more moments of nothing, I march over to the door, open it, and find her standing there in front of the toilet with her pants around her ankles and in her socks. "Mommy, there is water on the floor," she says with a little cautious smile. I look down and there is water and THEN SOME all over the floor and she is standing in the middle of it in her socks. If you know me well, you know I HATE toilets and think they really should be back out in the yard as in "olden times". This is my worst nightmare of toilet drama.

7:45 a.m. Pull Abby out of the mess, drop her in the kitchen, remove her clothing from the waste down and carry it to washer. Wash her feet with anti-bacterial wipes and send her to HER bathroom. Clean kitchen floor, CLOSE bathroom door for later, redress Abby and walk out the door.

7:50 a.m. Find the wind shield of the car iced over... yes... again, of course. Remind myself that God's timing is sovereign, scrape windshield and get out the driveway.

8:00 a.m. Return home to deal with the war zone of poop. I will spare you these details... although they are almost as comical as the events thus far!

8:15 a.m. Scrub my skin off in the shower and wash my hands for the 5th time.

8:45 a.m. Go down stairs to work on price list for jewelry client and find one of Abby's pull ups (dry one thankfully) ripped to shreds all over the sun room floor with the guilt party standing by with his head between his legs.

8:48 a.m. Scold dog, yell at dog, make mental note he will be up all night with diarrhea, and vacuum up the new mess.

9:00 a.m. Work on price sheet and presentation for Georgia Jewels client.

9:45 a.m. Leave for appointment, call mom for prayers, stop by Staples to buy tags.

10:20 a.m. Arrive at clients store and make the biggest sale I have had yet! I just love her. I was so excited with my new concept for my Spring line. I have a "Casual Collection" line with glass and metals and then a "Semi-Precious" line with the stones and sterling pieces. She bought the entire collection and asked for more! Thank you God. I lay this before you and you bless me time and time again. I just adore the relationship I have with Amy too... she is one of my biggest fans and I am so thankful to know her! (The picture was taken in her office and so the lighting is awful but it's a glimpse)

11:20 a.m. Head back to PTC to pick Abby up for school and call my friends to share my excitement!

NOON Pick Abby up from school and take her to McDonald's for lunch. She has chicken, apples and apple juice and I have the Asian salad and water. She plays on the play set, I watch Brett cry his eyes out as he retires (broke my heart) on the tv there and then see the story about Hannah Polin. My mouth drops to see she has mitochondrial disease and I am struck with thought.

2 p.m. Drop Abby off at Brain Balance. This is going so well! I am so excited about the changes we are seeing in her. PRAISE GOD and thank you so much!

2:10 p.m. Head to the bookstore for a moment of down time and to gather numbers of newspapers.

2:50 p.m. Go back to pick up Abby and start calling reporters to tell them Abby's story.

3:00 p.m. Go to friends house to drop of jewelry to be given to a woman who has lost everything in a house fire. Angie is a Cabi consultant and she gathered clothes from "gals", as she says, from all over the country to give this woman. I was honored she asked me to donate some jewelry. You go girl!

3:30 p.m. Pull over on the side of the road to continue a FASCINATING conversation with a reporter. He is very interested in Abby's story and we've schedule an interview for tomorrow. I am excited out of my mind and will have to share more later on this.

4:30 p.m. Come home, have a coffee with my husband and start blogging. We are having dinner tonight at our favorite local restaurant, Thai Spice. We love to have "family night out".

OK... so there it is so far. Hope you enjoyed a small glimpse into a "Day in the life" of this mommy!

Love to you all.... Dawn

A Good Night

Wow, I had a good night last night and that is the first in a long time! After icing for an hour while watching an awesome movie, "Elizabeth... the Golden Age"... I actually felt "good" for the first time in two weeks. I was tempted to do a back flip but opted not. I enjoyed three thin mint Girl Scout cookies along with some hot chai tea with gingerbread coffee cream.... mmmmmmm. I actually sat there and thought... "This is a good moment!"

After my night in at the movies... I guess I was so stoked about feeling good that I couldn't go to sleep. UGHHH... my thoughts were going 90 to nothing as usual and I was overwhelmed with sadness over the loss of Lodie. I was thinking about the night we had to put her down and was getting so upset I had to sit up in bed and then it hit me... it was March 4th.... the year anniversary of losing her.

So after that, and another hour of tossing and turning, I got up at 1 a.m. and started getting the stuff out of my head. I made my new jewelry cards, wrote a note to Abby's teacher, emailed Don, and designed some new tags. FINALLY at 2:30 a.m. I had emptied enough from my brain to sleep!

As for the back and neck drama... I am awaiting an MRI appointment and then we'll go from there. This is the short version! :0)

I've got a showing at the store I sell to tomorrow and I am very excited about the line... I'll share tomorrow!

Spring is coming soon!

Our jasmine is blooming... little purple flowers are springing up all over the yard and my hibiscus has come back from the dead and is wearing (and showing off) three blooms!

We have had three days of amazing weather but I fear the coolness is on her way back in tonight.

I finally have started taking pics of some of my new Spring items. I've got a showing at the store that carries my items this Thursday. After that, I'll be posting more!

I am going to a bone specialist tomorrow. I am still enduring pain and my neck is just not getting better. My chiropractor sent my x-rays off to a radiologist for a second opinion and there are some iffy looking things. I'll spare the details until the specialist looks at them tomorrow.

Until then, I am popping my alieve and taking my magnesium and trying to take it easy... trying!

Weight of Life

The weight of life seems to be bearing down with a vengeance right now. I want to scream, "No more!" It has been crazy, really, since December with Karina's arrival and stay. Then just days after she left, Abby spiraled. Then after that came recovery. Now after two deaths in the family, my body has just had it and has decided to pretty much fall apart.
On several occasions I have woken up and endured much pain to even move. This happened again this past Monday. I tend to have a high tolerance for pain, but when it hurts in several places to walk, it makes daily life a little trying! Wau...wauu..wauuu....

So I struggle to lay it down... lay it down before God and ask for guidance. I am have an appointment with a bone specialist next week and am just hoping to find some sort of answers.
I am also trying to lay my stressors before Him, as they weigh on me and can be having some sort of affect on my muscles.

One of which is our effort to find and adopt Caroline. My heart breaks every night as Abby prays for her to come. Now that Abby's health is so unstable, we can not leave the country with or without her for several weeks... much less six weeks. So we had to stop and cancel our adoption process and we won't be traveling to Kazakhstan after all. This thing has been such a roller coaster and not going now has broken my heart. I feel as if she is there and I have abandoned her. I have to trust that is it God's plan because we have remained faithful in prayer about this situation from the beginning. The hardest part is that all three of us still have a strong desire for another child in our family... that part has never changed. So... here we are... waiting. Abby asks about Caroline almost every day and we have no answers for her. So we are being honest with her and telling her that we can't go to Kazakhstan anymore and we are waiting for God to show us where Caroline is...

SO I am feeling a bit lost and I HATE being in this place. This is where I struggle... when the plan falls apart and I am left empty handed. So I am GUESSING I am in a season of trusting God right now! The only thing that helps me get through this is KNOWING how sovereign my precious God is... even when I don't understand. And so I cling to that... and to Him... and wait.

My Grandmother

1928-2008

My grandmother died last week. She was 79 years old. She'd been not doing well at all for several months, so her death was some what expected. But death is death and it is so final. To bury her youngest daughter just a few weeks ago and now her, death seems more real and final to me than ever before.

The finality of death, of course is just for our body and our life here on earth. However, it is not final at all in the fact that our soul lives on. I should say that the seperation of soul and body is more real to me... and it has impressed on me, even more, the importance of decisions we make in the brief moments of this life we are given.

As I look at this picture of my grandmother at 9 years of age, I see a young girl with a life time ahead of her. Many moments lie ahead to make decisions that will affect the life of herself, her friends, her children and her grandchildren. Decisions that will have affects for generations. Looking at this picture, she doesn't appear to know the magnitude of those choices... what 9 year old does?

The only way to make choices that are good choices is to do it in the presence and with the guidance of a God who has promised to guide us well. Even then we mess up... but God can and does bring beauty from ashes.

My grandmother had a heart that held on to her childhood with clinched fists. Her heart held on to the dreams and to the pain that came from and forever remained there. As an adult, she often talked of her childhood and her room looked like a child's, full of pictures from her childhood, dolls, teddy bears, and small trinkets. When she talked to me about these items, I could see on her face and in her voice that they carried memories of pain... and it broke my heart.

This pain followed her and tormented her. It caused her to lash out at people she loved. It sorrows me to my core to see how pain can cause people such torment. This same pain carries on throughout this family... through many, many family members. The healing hand of God awaits... waits opened and ready. His healing hand is the only source of healing and I pray that this family can embrace the God of the universe who offers such refuge and freedom.

My grandmother's favorite color was blue. Her favorite flowers were tulips and pansies. Her favorite movie as a young girl was "Golden Earrings". She loved my grandfather with her whole heart as he loved her. She had four girls and raised one of her grandsons as her own son. She walked through this life the best way she knew how and she loved the best way she could... and now she is gone.

Venting on Valentine's Day!

Today is the day of love. It should be renamed the "Day of being ripped off!" I have made several calls to some of our favorite restaurants (we are going on a date tonight) and they all have these "packages" for like $80+ per couple... RIP OFF! They know people are going to want to go on dinner dates and so they try and make a quarter's worth of sales in one night. And they don't even give you the option of the package or the menu... if you eat there, you pay $80 to sit in their seat! Oh, and wine is extra! Well, I am not having it! We will not do it... and you shouldn't either! It will be a sushi date or pizza for us tonight and we will still have a wonderful time!!!!!!!!!! I am not even mentioning the rip off the florists pull today... I'll send flowers tomorrow!
Thank you for listening... I feel much better now! :0)

Happy Valentine's Day! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The Good and the Bad of It...

Well, I'll start the with the good, because, well, good is good! :0) ha

Abby is doing GREAT! Oh how my soul leaps with happiness when I see her smile or open her eyes wide with happiness ( a new face she does). Her new diet, minus the eggs and milk and caesin and dairy is much easier than I thought it would be and within a week we could see a difference in her appearance! Amazing. YEE HAAA

She has also adjusted well to the medication and tomorrow will be two weeks without a seizure! PRAISE GOD!
Her teacher told me today that she was seeing a difference in Abby too! YAEHHHH She is more alert at school and is "getting it" much more than she really has all year!!!!!!!!!! :0))))))
Happy... Happy... JOY... JOY... JOY!

On one down side, I have been having major back and neck issues now for over a month. Sometimes it is so bad I can hardly move. Lately, my neck pain has been joined with a very unfestive headache the runs along the entire right side of my head with my eyeball wanting to explode. It's very hard to be cheerful when you feel like this! :0(

I believe in my chiropractor very much and so back I have gone and we took some x-rays this week. I have scoliosis pretty badly... I knew this though. My curve is in the lower region which causes pain down there. I also knew my neck was not curved right. But this time one of my vertebrae doesn't look right...:0( It looks, actually, concave... maybe like it's degenerating... Oh great! Or there could be something going on inside the bone... oh festive! AND the little wing things on each side of it are practically gone... these help balance the spine in the neck... double great. SO the good news here is that I am walking and functioning! Merrrrcyyyyyyyyy.....
So my x-rays are being sent to a radiologist to be reviewed and I should have more info in a week. So we'll see..... yuck!

On an even downer note: you can stop reading if you just can't take anymore!, we have had a very unexpected death in the family. My mother's youngest sister, Kim, who was just 43, died last week of a massive heart attack. My mother's mother could die any day but this was a great shock.

It has caused me grief in my soul to see so many people reeling with regrets and sadness because of things that could and should have been said and forgiven. It has saddened my soul greatly to see some one's life gone and others left still looking to cause drama, looking for someone to blame, and not looking to the Lord. I mean, that's it in a nutshell... the Lord is not present in many of the people's life involved and it is so very evident and it just saddens me to the core.

As I talked with one of my aunt's, she mentioned a friend, Susan I think, who reads this blog everyday. She doesn't know me, but reads this everyday. I pondered that thought on the way back to the hotel. I have been struck by emails from several people I don't know who read this and wanted access to continue reading it when I went private. I realized that people are drawn to this blog. They are drawn to something and the something they are drawn to is the LORD. PRAISE HIM. I was overwhelmed with compassion for people who come here because they can see the Lord alive in our lives and they are drawn to that.

It moved me to just simply state, that anyone reading this blog, and anyone moved by how God moves in our lives can have this same God of the universe moving and active in yours. John 3:16 says, "That Jesus so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." God longs to be active in your life. He longs to have you talk to Him, to cry out to Him, to rely on Him, and to seek Him. He longs to be your Father and He longs to bless you. But you have to seek him daily and call out to him for guidance daily and He will answer... and you will be moved to see the God of the universe be so personal and sovereign.

If you do not belong to God, please do not let another day pass without considering who He is and what He has done and offered to you. Life is temporary and can be gone in a moment.

So there was my moment on the soap box. How I would love to see healing and God's light shinning in the lives of so many. This life is not about us. It's not about stuff. It's not about being seen or standing on our rights. It's not about judging everyone and being hateful and self centered. It's about reflecting the love of our Lord who sent Jesus to die to cover our sins. How simple and how beautiful if we could only stay focused on Him.

BIRTHDAY TOES...

My mom and I had to be out of the house for a while and so we treated ourselves to some birthday pampering... a much needed and over due moment of pampering! We found this new place open on a Sunday and I got the best manicure and pedicure I'd ever gotten.

The whole experience brought back memories of my WORST manicure EVER that oddly enough was last February. I had gone to Winchester for a break because Abby had gotten very ill again that past December. I was in much need for a manicure.

So my mom had an appointment at Merl Norman (sp?) for a stone manicure and it was going to cost over $30. Being the thrifty girl I am... Iwalked down a few doors to "Nails R US" to get mine done for $15. When I walked in, I got the standard... "What can we do for you?" "I'd like a manicure please," I responded with much anticipation. "Pick color." Yes, yes, I know... so I picked my color. I was then directed to a stool that sat in front of a U-shaped table (clue number one) where two other women were sitting.

Well, I must have disrupted the party because my little nail lady was very disgusted I was even there. She slid over on her stool and started looking at my nails. As her nose drew up in judgement, I felt myself justifying my horrid nail condition... I mean my daughter was very ill and I was falling apart... not much more information needed here.

So she starts trimming my nails and is moving in fast rapid fashion. The other women are just watching and I am starting to feel a little hot. She then grabs her cuticle trimmers and starts her work. "You nails are BADDDDDDD," she says LOUDLY in her precious accent. My eyes open wide in disbelief and I get out a meek, "It's been a while since I've been able to do this." She keeps ripping the cuticle off and it's piling up on her tool and then she brings it in close to my face... "Look how much this is." The knot is finding it's way up my throat and I answer with a little distain myself, "Yes... I know... that's... WHY... I... am... HERE."

Now she has just peeved me off and I am getting hotter by the minute. Where is the love? I mean... can't she just talk badly about my nails in her private language that they normally chat in while you get your nails done!

So she SLAPS my polish on and my head is starting to spin. Do I tell her what I think? Do I cry? I mean I just needed 15 minutes of papmering and I got the five minute hateful Jiffy Lube of Nails!

Then... she finishes and takes one of my hands and holds it up in front of my face and says, "Look what I do for you!" Are you kidding me? Am I on candid camera? Have I just been PUNKED? My mouth hangs open and I get out again... "Yes, thank you, THAT'S WHY I CAME HERE!!!!"

Oh... my heart is pounding again just thinking about it.

So, I did what any good girl would do... I PAID HER, tipped her not, and left. I rehashed the story while my mom got her STONE manicure and massage and gave them all a great laugh!

To this day we cry out, "You nails are BADDDDD," anytime we even mention the word manicure! So if your nails need some love... GO... GO and get it done before it's too late!

Happy Birthday To Me!


Oh, my 34th birthday was this past Sunday and it was fun to have a birthday. My parents were here and I had a wonderful afternoon of pampering with my mom! My husband and dad went all out and decorated for my party, while I was gone, with crepe paper and balloons! It was very FESTIVE! We had a nice little party with some Super Bowl action... how lucky am I?

If my cake looks "funny" to you... it WAS! Since Abby has a egg, milk and dairy allergy... I asked Don to try and find a pie or make jello jigglers or something. WELLLLLL, He really wanted me to have a cake and so he and my dad pored over lables in the grocery store for WAY TOO LONG and found a cake mix and some egg substitute. WELLLLL, the cake wasn't "feeling" the substitute and so it rebelled and just didn't stick together! It was a CRUMBLING cake! My precious friend Shelly had the TASK of TRYING to frost it... can you picture it... and needless to say, gave up! So we had chocolate crumble cake (new dish at our house!) with the frosting on the side! :0) The funniest part was that Abby was all upset... yes, upset... because her cake was falling apart and didn't want to it.... GO FIGURE! When she saw that EVERYONE'S cake fell apart... she finally gave in. And I must say, it tastes GREAT!

I am so blessed to have my precious little one rebounding so QUICKLY from her illness! We are over joyed with THANKSGIVING for God's gracious and bountiful blessings upon her!

Helmet Day!

Abby returned to school this Wednesday for half days. We have a helmet for Abby to wear at school when walking in the halls and on the playground for protection. Her first day back, her entire class and her teachers (and the school nurse) wore helmets to make her feel welcome. It was precious. I stayed with her this week and was just amazed and touched with how loved she is by her school family and friends. Children were coming up to her with so much concern on their faces and in their hearts... I was blown away. Many children prayed for her and were thrilled to see her back.

It was a great week for Abby. We found out some wonderful things from her blood work with brain balance. I say wonderful because they are big things we can go after that are already making a difference. The huge one is that she is allergic (very much so!) to caesin, milk, eggs and dairy. Caesin is a dairy product found in may foods and her numbers were off the charts... 900 being high of the high and she scored 1800! So immediately we have removed those things from her diet and I am thrilled to be doing something that can make her feel so much better.

We also saw that her body is not eliminating toxins very well and really has just been in crisis mode. We have increased her Co Q-10 intake by doubling it and are awaiting suppliments made specifically for her results and her body needs! I am thrilled about this. There were lots of other things it showed that just gives us so much hope to see definate things we can address... which is a gift with Abby.

She is also on a rotation diet right now where she doesn't get the same food more than once in a four day period! I have become a meal planner (like my sweet friend Karen) for the first time. I am planning all three meals for four days and it's actually nice to know what the next meal is going to be! Who knew!? (Karen did! :0) So our fridge is FULL of food. It is hard to have fresh fruits and vegetable each day and not repeat them in a four day period! If it's a fruit... we've got it!

Her seizures also seem to be ALMOST under control... PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!! THANK YOU.

She was down to one a night. My parents are here for the weekend and my mom has slept with her the past two nights to give me a break... THANK YOU!!!!!!... and hasn't heard/seen any. So I am sleeping with her tonight to see. We are THRILLED and so very THANKFUL for the quick rebound she has had from this. She has gained back most of her balance and strength in her legs. She remains a bit weak on the right side but is VERY GOOD about her daily therapy routine!

So for now, she'll go to school next week for half days again to work her endurance back up. I'll be going with her and staying with her again and it has been such a blessing to be at school with her.

I can't thank you all enough for the HUGE outpore of love and support and PRAYER we have received from you all. PLEASE KNOW You have been a HUGE part of this precious child's recovery because of your faithfulness to prayer! We love you all.

Making a snowman...

We were blessed with snow again and this precious little one wanted to make a snowman before we went to the hospital. After being outisde for just a tiny moment, she had a seizure and hit the sidewalk face first. She had two burst lips, a scratched chin, two teeth knocked loose and bloody gums. She still wanted to play in the snow and so this is her with her "snow fort" right before we went to the hospital. So very sad...

Abby Grace

Oh I am just overwhelmed with the love I have for this precious child from God. She was such a trooper in the hospital. Our worst day was Sunday as we reached 26 seizures. I found myself going to that survival place of "handle it". Then the Lord shone His Light on us and she was given some relief.

"He will cover you with His feathers and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day..." Psalm 91: 4 & 5

A CAT scan revealed some infection and so we started antibiotics. Her fever she'd had since Saturday started to settle down and she was able to get some more rest. The seizures also started going down in number and we even had a 26 hour period without any.

Don and I had prayed about changing her medication and had decided not to since her seizures were under "control". Since we lost that, we decided to change her to Keppra. So she is going up on that and we are weaning her off the valium she has been on since Sunday while the Topamax stay the same. Once the Keppra is at a good level, we will try and wean her off the Topamax. Our desire and prayer is that one medication will hold her and we won't need her to be on two which is not good for her over time.

She has now been seizure free during waking hours since Tuesday. She is having about two a night but they are smaller than normal and only lasting 5 to 10 seconds. Our prayer is that God will take these away as well and she will again be seizure free.

Her MRI came back normal... PRAISE THE LORD!

"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. KNOW THAT THE LORD IS GOD. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations." Psalm 100

So we are in a holding pattern to see how this week goes. We'll keep you posted. And of course we still covet your prayers!

Spa Time!


One of my sweet girlfriends, Shelly, came to visit with her family and brought me a goody bag. It contained chocolate, bath goodies and some facial cloths and a tea and spearmint mask! Well, that night I was all about some refreshing of my face and so I put my mask on. Of course my precious little one wanted a mask too. So the technician, Debbie (whom we had also had there in 2004) suggested we do a baby lotion mask for her.

And here she is, with her first of many baby lotion masks! It's amazing what a small amount of pampering can do for the soul!!!

Refreshing the Spirit

We were so blessed by all of you during our stay in the hospital, and just during this time. Abby had several visitors who came to play and love on her. We've also had so many people come to pray with her. She knows what the prayers mean and that is something special about this time around. In the past, she really didn't understand. Now, she asks for people to pray over her and knows we are going to God for Him to make her better... that is really beautiful.

I've had several people let me know they fasted for her and I want you all to know that we are so moved by that, and so was our God in heaven. I am just humbled to my knees over the love God has pored out upon us, tangibly, through you. "For they refreshed my spirit and yours also." 1 Cor. 16:18

Teachers Party

Four of Abby's teachers and therapists came to visit her yesterday! We just had a little party in the floor of the playroom! We are SO BLESSED with her Oak Grove family. We have been so blown away by the care and love they give her and us. Her teacher is just a TREASURE and it was totally a GOD THING that we got to have her again this year.

They brought her a banner that her friends and classmates made for her. They signed their names, wrote little messages and drew pictures on it. There were pictures of her and Dusty... it is just ADORABLE and as you can see... VERY LONG! It is something we will treasure always and will be in her "keeping box"! We love you guys!!!!!!

WE ARE HOME

This is the short version. We are home! Abby is MUCH MORE STABLE... PRAISE OUR LORD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!!!!!!!
We LOVE you all and have just been blown away and so lifted up by all of your phone calls, emails and messages and cards. THANK YOU. YOU have been God's love to us during this time of darkness and we are so BLESSED to have you in our lives and support group! I will try and sneak away tonight and write more!!!!

Going to the Hospital

After Abby has had 22 seizures today, Don and I have decided to have her admitted into the hospital tomorrow morning. I will update when I can. We will be at Scottish Rite in Atlanta. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Heavy Heart

I write today with the heaviest of heart so far. My precious Abigail Grace slips further and further into sickness each day. Every day, without fail, the seizures are increasing in number with longer lasting side affects. Yesterday she had 13.

Today, she was having trouble walking with her right leg. It took my breath away to see that so soon. I asked her to raise her arms and the left one flew up and the right one continued to hang. Upon repeating my request for the right to be raised, she got it up halfway with much effort.

Moments later she went into another cluster of three seizures, making 9 for the day and it is only 1 p.m.

We have increased Keppra and Topamax as of yesterday. We are eagerly awaiting blood and urine test results from last Monday and PRAY that they will show us SOMETHING. Her neurologist has us coming in on the 30th and I am going to politely request on Monday that we come in sooner... as in early this coming week. I also feel we need a MRI to see if there is anything there.

My heart is desperate. It is torture that I hate to relive to watch her slip further down every day. The helplessness of it all is overwhelming... choking.

We are keeping a journal of her days and everything in them, and I was adding scripture to it this morning and the first passage I looked up was in Mark 9. The disciples had tried to heal a man's son who was possessed with a demon of seizures. They could not do it. Jesus did heal the man. When the discples asked why they could not heal him (as they had healed others), Jesus responded, "This kind can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting." Mark 9:29

I was struck that that was the passage I read first. And so I have decided to fast tomorrow. I am declaring a day of fasting and prayer for Abby tomorrow. Fasting is a very personal thing and so I wil let the Holy Spirit speak to you on that one. But I do ask with a desperate heart that you pray tomorrow for Abby and ask boldly in confidence for her healing. Matthew 21:21

We are opening our home all day for anyone to come and lay hands on her and pray. Since Wednesday, we have had people everyday come and lay hands on her in prayer and I am so thankful and grateful.

God gave us the sweet gift of snow again today. Abby was able to go out for 30 minutes and play in it. She had a seizure just 10 minutes after being back inside. She loved it and was thrilled with the falling of it.

Thank you God for such a sweet sign of your presence today, falling on us sweetly, softly and causing delight.

Abby Update

Abby has continued to get worse this week... having seven seizures yesterday and eight so far today. We continue to try and "tweak" things to get this under control. Please continue to pray and lift her before the Lord. We thank you all so much for your faithfulness in this... it gives us strength and so much encouragement.

God is so sweet, even in the darkest of times. Three of Abby's seizures today were at school. I was horrified that I wasn't there and heart broken to think of her class watching this happen to her. Well, the Lord is so sweet... sovereign and even cares about the "small things". Her class was having reading time and were all on the floor facing the wall. Abby was in the back of the classroom with her teacher who was just about to take her to the nurses office. Abby fell into her teachers lap and started to seize. Her teacher calmly laid her down in the back of the class and none of the children saw it happening! Praise to our Lord who is GOOD and THOUGHTFUL.

Her precious teacher also told me today that she has not felt well for several days. Her husband suggested she stay home this morning and she said, "No, I need to be at school today." PRAISE GOD WHO KNOWS ALL OUR DAYS and who IS SOVEREIGN!

God has also given us the sweet gift and surprise of snow today... yes, fluffy beautiful flakes that fell from heaven to shower us with sweetness! Precious is our Lord!

Medication Change

After several discussions and prayer, Don and I have decided that since we don't have seizure control anymore, we are going to try a medication change. We are changing from Topamax to Keppra. In order to do this, levels of Keppra have to be up before we can start lowering her Topamax. We HATE she will be on three medications and pray that her little body can handle this transition. We are supposed to increase her dosage again in four more days. We also have an appointment with the neurologist later in the month to discuss this and other things.

Your prayers for guidance, strength and rest are appreciated. Abby has increased to an average of three seizures a day since Saturday. They are almost always at 12:15ish a.m., 3:15ish a.m. and 5:15ish a.m. SO if you happen to be up at any of those times and want to hit your knees for some intercessory prayer... GO FOR IT!

Thank you for your love and prayers and kind words of encouragement. We love and appreciate you all.

Request for Prayers

Our precious girl seems to be falling into a seizure pattern again and it is happening rather quickly. About two weeks ago, we saw some signs she might be having seizures again and we started monitoring them by having her sleep in our room for almost a week now. She's had seizures all those nights between 5:15 a.m. and 6:15 a.m. except one. Today, we decided to try and restructure her sleep pattern by giving her a nap. The thought was we could put her to bed at 9 p.m. instead of 8 p.m. and get her up at 6 a.m. and possibly miss that faithful and very timely seizure. Well... she had two... one during the nap and one right after... while awake.
This is very alarming and twenty steps backward instead of just a couple.
So we are asking for serious prayers on her and our behalf. Please feel free to put her on your churches prayer list as well. We ask for HEALING for her once more. God has stopped these seizures before and we CALL ON HIM HUMBLY YET BOLDLY to do it AGAIN! Don and I pray for courage and GUIDANCE. There is NO ONE ANSWER to stop these things and so we find ourselves in a VERY hard place to be... with numerous options and the clock ticking.

We are having a very large panel of blood work done Monday morning. It's a test that will give us a TON of information on her digestive system, her metabolic system, any food allergies, any imbalances, and much more. After we get the results, there is a company that creates a specific formula of vitamin supplements for her specific needs... on top of any food changes we'll need to make. We pray this may give us insight to what her body may need or have too much of.

We have been considering changing medications and have been praying about it off and on for months now. We decided since her seizures were under control, that we didn't want to upset the apple cart. Now that they are back... DO WE TRY CHANGING now? (prayer request) TRYING could actually make things worse OR it could help.

We are pretty maxed out on glyconutrients but do we increase those as well? (prayer request)

Do we just increase the drug she is on now and see if it helps? (prayer request)

We also pray for patience and faith and peace. It is SO HARD to keep her at the feet of Jesus when this happens. My instinct is to go into "handle it, fix it, figure it out" mode and I become a bit panicked... very angry and anxious... and overwhelmed.

We pray for that Abby does not develop fear and can handle having seizures again and that we can help her through this time. We pray she is able to continue in school and can get through the days. We pray she is able to get enough rest. We pray for her heart.

We start Brain Balance Tuesday. We pray that this brain therapy can help her develop more and can also help her brain produce healthier cells and brain pathways. We pray it gives her the ability to process and learn more, the ability to process and handle and communicate her emotions, and that it could lead to the stopping of her seizures!

THANK YOU. THANK YOU for your hearts, your love and your prayers and friendship. THANK YOU for being there whenever we call upon you and for being God's love to us and our precious Abby. Thank you for believing in the Lord and the POWER OF PRAYER. THANK YOU for being our support group.

We will keep you posted and I won't be going private yet due to some prayer warriors who have not given me their email addresses yet!

Moments

As I prepare mentally to pack "Fragile" today and prepare her for a long journey home... I am overwhelmed by a thought I had right before Christmas.

I have come to understand, more than ever before, that life is made up of precious and particular moments. Moments that are linked and shape the path of your life journey. Moments that are small and almost go unnoticed by most... moments that are big and draw many in. Moments that change relationships, perspectives, and presents and futures. Moments that can never be repeated or changed... moments that can be recreated with thought and care.

But whatever the moment is... it is so very important. God has planned and sees all our moments. He's promised that they will all come together for good for those who love Him. When you walk in His moments... you are aware of how beautiful each and every one is... even those that bring about tears, sadness, or even regret. When you seek and pray to walk in His moments... you hear His whisper in your soul... a deep quiet part that moves you with peace. And when you walk in His moments... You are blessed more than your mind or heart could ever have imagined. God is so very good and soveriegn. When you walk in our the Lord's moments He has prepared for you... you walk with Him and it is a precious moment.

We Praise God for leading us into the moment we decided to take in this precious child. We Praise God for how He has shown HIMSELF over and over and over again during this time. We Praise Him for allowing us to BE HIS love to a child we would have never known and to be a small part of her new little path of life. We Praise Him for being God and for ALL that HE IS!