Saturday, February 06, 2010

Trying too hard

Wow.  It sometimes seems so simple.  And then I wonder how in the world I could have missed it.  And then, there it is again... a reminder... that I am trying too hard... to do too many things... to be too many things.

And today, as I looked at one of my favorite blogs, resolved2worship, I realized that I am simply trying too hard.

Yesterday, I got to meet the precious and God loving Beth Moore at our local book store.  She was there signing her latest book, So Long Insecurity, (that totally speaks to me right now!) and I happened to hear about it that morning on the radio station.  So of course I had to go, it's 3 minutes from my house!  Abby had a friend over for a sleep over and Fly Boy was out flying and so I took all three little ones with me!  Marc was in the stroller to be contained and the girls were armed with books to help occupy the hour I waited in line (they did SOOOO good).

As I finally got to her, she had already seen a bizillion women.  She had already signed their books and "chatted" with them.  Yet, when I walked up, she looked me straight in the eye and gave me the biggest Beth smile possible and in her sweet voice she said, "It is such a priviledge to meet you."  Then she stood up enough to give me a hug as if she was my long lost friend.  I was so moved by it, I could hardly speak.  And she hugged me for a good 10 seconds. 

I told her how much I appreciated her passion for God and for women and told her that I had a group doing the "Daniel" study now.  I told her it had changed my life, burning the phrase "friendly captivity" into my brain and upon my heart.  She noticed the kids and was delighted I had brought them.  Then she said to me, again, looking right into my eyes with her little hand in my face, and said, "There is no greater job than what you are doing right there."  I made a joke about how she has often helped me with what I was doing right there and then a sweet woman behind me gave me my cell phone back (she had taken a picture of us on it for me).  I looked down to see she had taken a picture of our hug but all you could see was my newly -increased in size- behind!  We all died laughing as I thanked her for such an intimate picture and Beth was so gracious to take another picture with me that I have GOT to figure out how to get off my phone!  And yes, I have a hat on since it was raining like crazy... makes getting in and out of the rain 20 times a day with kids easier... there is no extra hand for the umbrella anymore!

So then today, as I looked at Ann over at her "resolved" blog (another woman I just adore) Beth's words rang out in my head again.  And it hit me, the reality, the simple reality that I am trying too hard to do too much.  I am missing so much with my children because I am trying to do so many other things.  And they are good things.  But I have to slow down and enjoy each day more.  Like sitting at the table and coloring with Abby today... guiding her to color each item completely and with a different color.

Her picture is now on the fridge and it is the best picture she has ever colored... and she likes it.  Like sitting in the floor and showing Marc where the puzzle pieces go on his puzzle board... and rocking him for 5 more minutes.  Like laying beside Abby to nap after tucking her in.

I have realized today that the mission field can wait right now.  So can the free yard sale for needy families that I want to organize.  And so can leading another bible study when the one I am doing is over.  And so can decorating for other people.  And so can starting another business.  And so can...

I am releasing myself of a list of "ought to's" and focusing on what is right here... right now.  I have three children... two at home... and one that needs to feel like she's home... one I've got to get home. 

I feel better already!  Have a blessed Sunday tomorrow!


  1. Anonymous8:05 PM

    I like how Abby's picture is right next to the picture that she colored -- there is some sort of happy similarity. This time with your little ones will pass so soon and you'll never regret the silly/mundane/fun/sad/etc/etc time you've spent with them. Love your blog.

  2. Love that picture of the 5 of you! Beautiful! :)

  3. Dawn, last year God taught me that while all the things that I was doing "for" Him were important, they have to come out of the excess of my first mission field - my home. It was a difficult year giving up ministries that I thought were God's will and moving out of the public eye where I had received so much praise and self worth. What I gained, though, was a peace and contentedness in my home and with my husband and children that continues to blow my mind. People comment all the time that I seem so relaxed and happy.

    God honored my obedience by bringing to life a non-profit that I had to let die due to lack of interest. He brought the church to me to ask me to get it going again and then brought me a full leadership team.

    Don't underestimate these urgings to pull back and DO NOT feel bad.

    My favorite "take away" from the book "Captivating" was to quit striving. Freedom of Jesus Christ does not lie in the "shoulds."

    Sorry to go on and on...God just laid that on my heart.

    I love you and your sweet, sweet spirit!


  4. Heather, Thank you so much for such a sweet and needed note of encouragement! Don't ever apologize for sharing your heart here... I need uplifting too! God shows me time and time again that when the Spirit prompts me and I am obedient, that he blesses ten fold. I KNOW that. It just gets lost in the clutter of life and I get pulled too thin again before I know it!
    Thank you... I love and miss you and hope you and your family have a fantastic love week!

  5. I love your family photos - perfect!


Thanks for sharing your thoughts!