That ever so open-ended not so simple question... "WHY?"
I have struggled with "Why?" for years.
There is a great book I read once when Abby was way, way, way sick, "The Mystery of God's Will," by Charles Swindoll. I wanted to know "why?" Why was she dying, why had God brought her to me just to watch her die, why was He doing this to her, to me, to us... and why wasn't He showing up?
"For if we are going to live appropriately, we must be aware that we are living in the middle of a story that was begun and will be concluded by another. And this other is God..." (101) That simple sentence (well, two sentences) kinda starts bringing perspective.
"In God's sovereign plan, your life may be painful, disappointing, difficult, inexplicably confusing, and downright mysterious. But through IT ALL, God SOMEHOW will get ALL the glory." (90) Isn't it amazing that our God is the God who makes beauty from ashes. It's what He does best. It is a gentle and sometimes not so gentle reminder that HE in fact is in control. And it is a beautiful promise that GOOD will come through it. Then GOD can be seen... not our efforts, not our wisdom, not our decisions or strength and THEN GOD IS GLORIFIED... people are amazed at what HE did and they are drawn to Him. Isn't that just a glorious and sovereign plan made and put into order by a glorious and sovereign God!
Sovereignty: "Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!" Romans 11:33~ "When He (God) makes His decisions which here are called "judgments" they are "unsearchable," because we live in a finite realm and He is in the infinite. We live in the temporal now. He lives in the eternal forever." (86)
I often tell my children that we have fish brains. Fish live in the water. It's the world and life they know. It's all they know. They don't understand humans. They have no idea about the cities and countries in the world. They have no idea what happens when they are caught on the fisherman's line. They have a fish brain. In the perspective of God and the spiritual realm and eternity... we have fish brains. When I describe it to them this way... trying to fully understand "Why?" to a lot of life's questions or even about God's reasons for things... they get it. And it is a great reminder to self.
"His plan includes all promotions and demotions. His plan can mean both adversity and prosperity, tragedy and calamity, ectasy and joy. It envelops illness as much as health, perilous times as much as comfort, safety, prosperity, and ease.... His sovereignty, though it is inscrutable, has dominion over all handicaps, all heartaches, all helpless moments." (87) "For who knows the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor (ouch...)? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to Him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are ALL THINGS. To Him be the glory forever. Amen." Romans 11:34-36~
WOW. It doesn't get much clearer than that.
The dream God so sweetly blessed me with on March 19 was such a gift and blessing. In the moment I was asking questions... He came. And when He touched me... every question vanished as I was bathed in His love and holiness. Over and over I could hear myself saying, "His holiness and His love are enough." It was the most amazing and precious and healing experience I have had with Him so far (close in second is being bathed in the Holy Spirit for sure). The peace and joy that flows through me now is straight from the hands of God and I remain in awe and overflowing thankfulness that He was so GRACIOUS and LOVING to come to me and touch me in that way! OH HOW I ADORE HIM.... PRAISE HIM... REJOICE IN HIM
AND LONG FOR COMMUNION WITH HIM!!!!!!!!
And you know what is even cooler? Once I embraced the truth that His holiness and love is enough... some answers and clarity for Abby started to be unveiled. I was sitting at the table, thinking of all the horrible behavior and habits Abby is going through right now, and the Holy Spirit said to me, "Klonapin withdrawal."
I ran to the computer to research it and there it was... almost every side affect listed was what we have been dealing with. I wasn't happy to see it. It saddened me. But I was thrilled to have some clarity. Then later that week, Don and I met with a naturalist doctor (amazing man with scientific understanding of the body that just captivates me!) who also works with homeopathy and he starts drawing diagrams and explaining things about Abby that just had me sitting with my mouth open. Clarity on some "why's" of her diease and her seizures that we haven't had since her diagnosis when she was three! To see it in paper and see it broken down to cellular processes was just mind blowing.
As Don and I sat at dinner after that... my soul was smiling. Not for what we had been shown and for the new hope we had been given (I WAS thrilled about that) but from the fact that GOD HEALED ME BEFORE THAT AND SHOWED ME WHO HE WAS REGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENS WITH ABBY. What we had just learned seemed like icing on the cake!
But I have to say there is a renewal of "Why?" questions in my pocket right now.
Why was the day of worship changed from God's sabbath to Sunday? When? And by whom? The answer is eye/mind opening.
Why do traditional holidays have 2 sets of symbols? I never understood how in the world an Easter bunny and colored or dyed Easter eggs had anything to do with Jesus being resurrected from the grave. I never understood how Santa and elves had anything to do with Jesus being born? If they were christian holidays... what were these other things doing in there? The answer is eye/mind opening.
Why does the church as a whole avoid discussing the Holy Spirit like the plague? Why is the power of the Holy Spirit not an active part of today's modern day churches? Why do people think the Holy Spirit lies dormant today when He is needed more than ever before? Why does Paul talk to the churches about the spiritual gifts that are supposed to be flowing through the church (not a building... but the body of Christ... Christians) if they are no more or were only given to the disciples?
Why is there a blank page between the Old and New Testament? Testament means covenant. The covenant is the blood covenant God made with His people. The old (animal sacrifice) pointed to the new (Jesus sacrifice) but it all flows together.
Why do we totally ignore dates that God has given us for biblical holidays in exchange for manmade holidays?
Why is one of the biblical feasts not fulfilled yet?
Why are we so distracted by this temporal life?
Why are the majority of Christians searching for more?
Why do many Christians look just like their non-christian friends?
Why do so many Christians not ask why and just go through the motions?
Why do so many Christians hesitate to tell people what the LIVING GOD is doing in their life?
Why do so many Christians not want to know?
These are the questions God has been putting on my heart... His "why's". And the answers are changing my life. So there seems to be a time and place for "why?"... two sets of "why?" questions. For many... we are stuck on the wrong set and missing the whole thing... and missing HIM!