A Journal Entry
Oh, where to start? I am in a funk again. It happens ever so often when I am depleted and simply worn out. I don't like feeling this way. I wish I could just open a small compartment, change my batteries, and turn the power back on.
In one year, we have moved, done a lot of work to our new home, adopted a child, hosted and are adopting another one, changed churches, lead a small group with our church, I've lead a women's Bible study, had some home schooling going on, started a garden, gone vegetarian, and made some new friends.
Going from one to three children in one year is enough to stretch the brain. But one being special needs, another learning the language and culture, and one crying every time you look at him funny or say no... has really mentally exhausted me.
Two days ago, I walked from the office to the kitchen and lost a piece of adoption paperwork that was in my hand. Yeah. I looked under the table, in all the folders on the table amidst the 60 pages of paperwork in each one, and could not find this one piece I had just held in my hand. I simply laid my head down on the kitchen table and sobbed. It was such a release. Can you even imagine how VERY SICK AND TIRED I am of writing the same thing over and over and over and over and over again for different agencies and offices and countries on their own forms and then making a certain number of copies of those 9000 documents to be notarized and apostilled and then mailed with specific cover letters to specific places in the specific order with the specific amount of money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????? Can't we just do it ONCE AND SHARE IT ALL WITH EVERYONE!!!!!!!!! (look, I am having another mini-break down right here... right now.... :0)
So I am TRYING so hard to get a handle on life and get a new balance going. I have read a book this week and watched two movies with one more to go tonight! I have taken two naps in the middle of the day too. AND... I took a day off and was gone from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. It helped... but I need more. A little more time to just be a girl... to just be me for a few more hours.
I need some filling and rest in the presence of my Father. I need to have quiet time with Him each morning. That is my quest next week. Quiet time in His presence. I also need to start journaling again, taking pictures again, and blogging more. There simply is just not enough time for me anymore. I have to create it.
Thank you for letting me whine. I have to download every now and then. Plus, it helps me remember I am only human! Now Abby, Marc and I are off for some shrimp fajitas with my precious Campbell and then to Blockbuster for a movie! Don and B left today for their first adventure to Latvia. This is the first of four trips. This trip will be short as we are just returning B to her native country to get another 90 day visa! She and Don will be back Tuesday!