I have been on a spiritual high for a while now.
I should have known an attack was coming. I have been discovering so much in God's word and sharing it... that's when you should REALLY know the attacks are going to come. Usually an attack comes, I see it, I speak against it, and confess my faith and truth over it... and there is relief. This latest attack has come on strong... and I don't mean to give the enemy any credit as he IS DEFEATED and it is my duty to remind him so and be sure he stays in his place of defeat... even though he fights and fights to convince me otherwise.
I won't list the full force of this attack as it would give him too much credit. But I will say it is emotional, physical, and spiritual and involves me, one of my daughter's and my marriage and some others close to me. Not that my marriage is in jeopardy by any means, but the enemy attacks it often. My marriage gives glory to the Lord and gives glory to obedience and the enemy HATES it. And he is relentless. He attacks it most by attacking my heart. But he is defeated. My daughter's very life gives glory to the Lord as does her healing and the enemy hates it. And he is relentless. But he is defeated.
I am tired.
Today, I was bemoaning my tiredness to my husband and my sadness that there are not many people I can pray with about this or share it with. Not too many people who "get" it. I feel alone. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW the Lord is with me and won't forsake me... the enemy wants me to feel alone and stop moving forward. But the enemy is defeated. Anyway, I was bemoaning how alone I felt, (which I should not be claiming but denouncing instead and speaking truth over it!), and God had two friends, reach out to me... about the very thing I was struggling with. One emailed me and gave me back scripture from one of my past posts! Thank you! I'll take it back anytime! And the other spoke words of encouragement and prayed scripture over me on the phone! I'll take that anytime. God is giving me the very living proof that I am not alone! I am so very thankful for it. I really needed it.
So I continue to stand on the truth against this attack. I stand on the belief God is growing in me and the truth and power of His word and in the name of Jesus. I continue to claim truth over my life and over my children. Today, one of my children spoke truth back to me... praise the Lord! I was telling her how I was hurting somewhere badly and she said, "Mommy, you need to say you are not hurting there in the name of Jesus and speak truth over it... and it will go away." Praise you Lord for that affirmation! I smiled. I started claiming God's truth, "I am not hurting, I denounce this attack and I reject it in the name of Jesus. I am healed by the wounds of Jesus and he took my sin and sickness to the cross and I claim that over me in the name of Jesus. I am healed. I am healed in the name of Jesus." Five minutes later she asked me, "Are you still hurting?" I started laughing as the pain had completely gone. A pain that had me on the sofa much of the morning and almost doubled over at the grocery store... and it is still gone! "No... it's gone," I replied in pure delight and thankfulness. And we both laughed as she said, "See... that's what you do Mommy... the name of Jesus!" I praise you Lord! Out of the mouth of babes! Oh the belief of a child... that God so treasures and admires! This was the third time He reached out to me in such a tangible way today.
A few minutes ago, I saw a tube of toothpaste in my kid's bathroom that is just mangled. I thought to myself, "Hey... that's what I feel like!" There I was, standing all mangled on the bathroom counter top! Squished on all sides, crumpled over, and not pretty... but still standing, still usable, still with a purpose, and still effective! I am a tube of toothpaste!
I am anxious for this attack to be over. I am anxious for rest. I know it will come and in the meantime... I am diving into His word for truth, answers, help, guidance... and praying to feel His Spirit move upon me again soon! And I'll wait... knowing He is here, carrying me, enjoying my hunger for Him, enjoying my heart to discover Him and to please Him, fighting for me if I can only stay surrendered to Him and His power, and ready to show me more!
This is why we count it as joy when we are tried and face trials! Because when we go through it, and we learn more, and we see Him more, and He is given the chance to do more in us and with us... our faith and belief grows! What the enemy throws at us to damage our belief... and destroy it... God uses as another opportunity to SHOW HIMSELF and we are drawn closer to Him and our faith grows! Praise Him!!!!!!!
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4~
Edit: Last night, as I was lying in bed, thinking about the day and praying, I was reminded that my Lord reached out to me through a card that arrived from a friend that afternoon. Four... four hugs, four "I am here" signs, four "I love you" whispers, four types of encouraging words. He also awoke me at 5 a.m. to be with Him and blessed me with the fullness of His presence and peace. It doesn't get much better than that! Thankfulness overflows today and I am renewed! PRAISE HIM! PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME!