Monday, November 09, 2009

Back and Gone Again
Hello.  I am way out of blog mode.  I am BUSY making wonderful things for the craft show this weekend to make money for Brenda to come from Latvia and get loved on!  We have already been so blessed by precious and generous contributions to pay for her hosting.  My "thank you" can not come from any deeper in my heart!

I have also been very "busy" in God's presence.  He is working all around me in wonderful ways and I am just SOAKING Him in and loving every moment of it!  I PRAISE the God of Heaven for His goodness and majesty!

A dear sweet girl from my mom to mom group called me this morning.  She has been touched by a photo of a waiting child in the Philippines.  This precious little girl is two and has had a very very hard life.  Her medical file is a mile long and is not pretty to say the least.  This made my friend love her more.  But my friend and her husband are struggling with the reality of what bringing a child like this into their home "could" be like.  And they are struggling because God has given them this heart and they want to be in His will... whatever that might be.

I had the privilege of sharing part of my Abby story with her.  I told her how the "expert" in Washington looked at Abby's medical AND her video and said, "It doesn't get any better than this!"  I then told her how the bottom fell out just a few months after being home with her and how at that point we knew she had been seizing in the orphanage too and guessed that is why her birth mother left her in the cafe.  I also told her that the following two years were the darkest years of my life.  How I contemplated turning my back on God because I no longer believed He was good and actually thought He was very bad.

Then I told her how the Holy Spirit washed me with knowledge and changed my life.  I was sobbing "why" in the bathtub... wishing I would just sink and never surface again.  And then... in a moment... the answer came... "I am here.  I am holding you.  I am loving you.  I will never leave you.  I will walk you through this.  This is not about you. I am not doing this "to" you... I am doing this "for her".  I knew what her life was going to be like.  I knew she was sick.  And I WANTED TO LOVE HER AND FOR HER TO KNOW ME AND KNOW MY LOVE and I am doing that THROUGH YOU."

I have never been the same since that moment.  Instead of dwelling on my despair, I started dwelling on making each day of her life as best as it could be.  My goal was to make her smile... and to be God's love to her.

Then I got to tell me friend how lucky we are to live in a reality where God's beauty is before our eyes every day in her ability to laugh, walk, swim, ride a scooter, go to school, and tell me she loves me.  Where his power is seen in the very fact that she is alive and well... and she is well.  Even though she had a seizure last Wednesday and yesterday... she is well... so well.  And my God is so very good.

I also confessed to her that if Abby's medical had read what was really true, I probably would not have thought I could handle it and would have missed out on one of the most beautiful love stories of my life... and the privilege of loving this precious child for my Savior and being loved by her in return.  And I would have missed out on my Savior saving me and drawing me so close to His side.  I can't do this, any of it, but He can and He does... for me.

Now don't misunderstand, I only shared my story... and prayed with her.  Several people had told her to call me and I know God wanted me to share my story with her.  I told her it was a very personal decision and that she and her husband needed to be on their knees before the author of life right now.  God will show them what to do because they are truly seeking Him.

And then she thanked me.  She has many friends and even family who are focused on her comfort... and that was not what she wanted to hear.  I was able to give her a perspective that noone else has been able to give her.  And THAT is yet another GIFT that has come from Abby's illness.  THAT is why I am sharing this.   THAT is how our heavenly father works.  THAT is how God is glorified even in the midst of Abby's mitochondrial disease!  I love it when He uses this painful part of our life to help and encourage others!  PRAISE HIM!  What a beautiful privilege!

I don't know what God is doing in your life right now.  I don't know who is reading this and needs to be encouraged.  But know that God is good and sovereign.  And know that life is not all about comfort and safety.  To walk on water... you have to have faith to step out of the boat.  Don't miss a miracle because you forget how big God really is!

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3: 20, 21~

And now I am back off blog land to return to my sewing corner!  I love you.  Hugs.
 

2 comments:

  1. Everytime I read your blog I *wish* I had the same kind of faith and belief. To put it as simply as I can I just don't know how to get there from here (where I am). Dispite my struggle thank you fr sharing and for inspiring with every post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous6:51 PM

    Hi Dawn!!!

    Just stopping by to say "hi"!!!

    Love you,
    Donna

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!