One Beautiful Life

Our Timing, God's Timing, Life's Timing

Saturday night, just before 8 p.m., we received a call about a baby girl we'd just found out was available the day before. Don had just seen her picture that morning and we'd not really been able to talk about it fully... or pray. After answering the call, we were asked to make a moment's decision to commit to flying out to the West Coast on the first flight in the morning to meet and possibly adopt this child.

Our minds were racing. If we made this commitment, the mother wanted a conference call with us in 15 minutes. The room swirled as there were various issues to discuss. How long would we be there, what would we do with the dog, how long would Abby miss school, could my mom come down and Don and Abby fly back here after a few days while I stayed and finished the legalities and paperwork, was she too young, and yes... can I, should I be traveling when I was still recovering from surgery? Why was it happening so fast? Was it the right decision? This was/is what we have been wanting... why now... why not just five or six days later when I am more healed and when we could have time to talk and pray?

Needless to say, it was horrible. The moment was full of panic and stress and this unseen force of... something... something that didn't seem right. I had asked, pleaded for five minutes with my husband before we made the decision and so I called back to say that we just couldn't do it... not like this... not now... this very moment and hour. It was horrible. Just horrible. And so, I write this to ask for your prayers in our walk, wait, and journey to find and be available to the child God wants us to love for Him, for the child that Abby asks for every day and prays for every night, and for the wisdom and eyes to see when it is HIS leading.

As I sat on my bed that night in tears, I realized that if we had said yes, we'd be scrambling to pack, making arraignments for the dog and getting little sleep before morning came. I thought about her sleeping in her bed at that moment, having no idea how our worlds had just brushed each other so closely... yet not really touched. I prayed for God to raise up the family that could meet that demand and be there for her.

I don't know if someone was found that night. I do believe God has a plan for her and is taking care of her. And I do feel more peace each day in knowing that I could have not traveled that day... or the next... maybe today. But I do know if that situation was truly our situation... it would have waited for a mommy to heal. I find comfort in that and continue to wait for another phone call.