Monday, August 13, 2012

Every Moment As If

Once again, the beautiful and anointed Ann Voskamp has shared something that causes the core of my soul to sit up and evaluate.  Evaluate my thoughts.  Evaluate my priorities.  Evaluate my heart.  Evaluate my motivation.  Evaluate my focus.  Evaluate my days.  Evaluate my life.  She is so very good at that.  I simply adore her.

I won't go into all the detail of her post but you can read it here.  And I so encourage you to read it.  It will leave a fingerprint on your heart.  One worth having there.  

How would my life look if I were about to be murdered?  If I were standing there with a gun pointed to my head?  A knife at my throat?  A knife moments away from piercing me many times?  What would be going through my head?  What would be my final plea?

Now what would I do if someone, a stranger, a friend, a relative, stepped before me and said, "Take me," and it was granted.  I was released to live and that person was murdered.  How would that moment... that sacrifice change my every moment of living?  How would every thing from that moment on look with that sacrifice as the backdrop.  Ann's post left me wondering.

Gratitude does not even begin to seem like a big enough word that would bathe every moment of my life from that moment of pardon/freedom/salvation.  Every day I would be overcome with the presence of life and the beauty she shares.  I doubt I would not waste many moments.  I think I might feel there was purpose to my life now.  The sacrifice would probably replay before me many times... flooding me with gratitude over and over.

Yet, THIS is the VERY thing that Christ did for me. Sacrifice.  Taking my place, taking the death that I deserve. Why can that slip my mind as often as it does... that sacrifice He did for me?  The realness of it.  The personal-ness of it.  The rawness and desperate deep love of it.  How is it that every day I am not bathed in the gratitude that causes me to take every moment I am given for the gift it really, really is?  Why do I so let the enemy come in with lies and attacks and steal and rob from me the very life that Christ so sweetly gave me in those moments?  It breaks my heart.  Is it because I was not there to witness it with my eyes?  Does it seem that removed?  I was there... on his heart... on his lips as he spoke my name.  I was there with my sin and my selfishness.  I am here, now, because He was there then.  And I will be with Him forever in eternity because He was there... on that cross... in those moments of sacrifice... for me... instead of me.  For you.  For every man, woman and child.

My prayer today is that I/we can come to live a life that is saturated with the complete awareness of what Christ did for me/us, as if it were just as hour ago, and not thousands of years.  As if I were in parking lot about to meet my end and He stepped forward and took my place.  Oh the joy that should come from knowing that Jesus Christ came to earth to bring me life and salvation.  Oh the joy that should come with knowing He is with me now, every moment, interceding on my behalf, and living in me.  Gratitude is just not a big enough word.  But it is wonderful place to start.

I have been working on my gratitude list.  I let life distract me and can go many days without writing them down... even though I see them.  I must get back to it.  The writing of them, remembering them, counting them and embracing them as the sweet love notes from the LORD that they are... and be transformed by them.

* One single daisy reaching for the warmth of the sun
* Laughter from children playing with clothes
* Wind blowing our hair as storm approaches
* Lack of time schedule today
* Sleeping in
* Three little fish jumping with excitement for their food
* Long talks with my girl about the world and her open heart to receive truth
* Connecting with my husband
* A friend asking our family to help another family walk through a hard time with child's illness
* Extra vitamins to share with those in need
* Being touched by a stranger's wisdom
* Love notes from friends
* Peace with saying "no"
* Clean kitchen sinks :0)
* Children happy to do chores
*  Excitement for school to start
* Sincere and constant doggy love
* Baby birds on the bird feeder
* Chipmunk with STUFFED cheeks
* Tomatoes on the vine against all odds
* Fresh cut grass
* Unfolding of  peach roses
* Crickets, grasshoppers, and locusts starting their evening song of praise to the LORD
* Comfortable beds awaiting us for rest
* Frozen yogurt with several toppings
* Facebook note from "daughter" in Latvia... calling me MOM
* Sweet phone conversation with my dad

And I am sure I missed several!

Much love, Dawn~