Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your emails of love for Abby and our family. I am so moved at how God reaches out to us through others to encourage us and speak to us!
Abby is stable again. I am claiming Abby is better! After her three days of consecutive seizures... she had four without them... then one with one... and now three without them again. Way better than where we were! And we are so thankful.
Several things happened during that bit of "panic". I hit the internet again for researching and found great information on vitamin E and Omega 3's. Every ounce of my being does not want to increase drugs again... every morsel of my soul is screaming "no" and so she started taking viatmin E twice a day, as well and fish oil vitamins twice a day. I also increased her other nutritional supplements that help her greatly and started giving her powered amino acid again in her juice. AND I also read where artificial sweetner is a trigger for seizures and she had just recently started chewing a lot of sugar free gum... the only place she gets artificial sweetner... and so she surrendered her Trident and was given Juicy Fruit!
That is what was done on the physical side. But I knew, and know, there is a much bigger force at work here and so I hit my knees. There is a spiritual side to Abby's illness. I reached out to some women God has placed in my life and asked them to pray with me for her. They had me come the next day. When I got there and started sharing what was going on... they both felt moved to pray for me. I felt a bit selfish... here Abby is in dire straights and they want to spend a couple hours praying for me... but I trust God enough to know He knows better than I do.
We had some amazing prayer time and it was very intense. The Lord opened my eyes to several things and freed me from several as well. Then He gave me one of the sweetest gifts ever. My friends had just finished praying for my deliverance from fear. It was intense, vivid, and the spiritual realm collided with the physical (as it does every moment outside our physical vision). They had prayed for my soul to go up into the heavenly realms to be healed and nurtured by my Father. This kind of praying is pretty new to me. I wasn't sure what or if I was supposed to feel anything or see anything... but I felt I should wait. So with my eyes closed, I waited. I felt as if my soul should be flying toward my Father but it was just waiting... something was holding me back. I told my friends this and they prayed over me some more. I then was filled with such peace that came in such a rush that there was no denying it was a gift from my Father. I had come with such anxiety, despair, panic, and exhaustion... and it all vanished... left me in a flood.
My heart smiled. I knew what it was and I was thankful. But I just kept saying over and over and over in my mind, " I want to see you Lord. Let me see you, please! Any part of you... a flash of light... anything."
Then I thought to myself, "This peace is His presence... and that is enough... this is enough Lord...I know you are here." I was just about to open my eyes when the vision of a smile flooded my soul... my mind... my heart... my very eyes. And a smile came across my face, followed by the deepest sobs I have known in a long, long, time. The last time I cried like that, was over Abby... it was sorrow, saddness, helplessness, pure agony. This time, it was from the deepest thankfulness, awe, and sheer pure joy... it was for my Lord. And I will never forget it. The Lord smiled at me... and He let me see it.
I came home that day... refreshed with hope and energy and love and motivation. I was on a mission to enter the spiritual realm for all out battle for Abby that night. As I knelt down beside her on the floor to pray, I asked God what He wanted me to pray for. The answer "no" came to me followed by "rest". I was kinda in disbelief. "Rest? You want me to rest?" "Yes. Rest." And that is what He told me for two nights in a row. And I rested. I went to bed two nights in a row without praying over Abby. He gave me the strength to trust her with Him... and I mentally laid her down before Him. And He gave her four nights in a row without a seizure.
Now after resting, the Lord is flooding me with ways to pray for Abby as I have not prayed before. First I was moved to pray for her birthmother... last night I was moved to pray for her birthfather... and to break the bonds that bind them together... along with the abandonment, rejection, confusion, and fear... along with breaking generational curses. It really is amazing.
My gift this morning was so sweet. Sweet confirmation from the Lord. I am praying for Abby's emotional and spiritual healing right now. And last night I crawled up next to her on her pallete on the floor and wrapped myself around her. I whispered "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," into her ear about 50 times. I prayed God's love would just flow through me and fill her from head to toe... leaving her with His peace and His fullness. I prayed she would receive my love and His love in it. Then this morning, I woke her up and we were cuddling. Then she said, "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." My heart and soul did a flip. She has NEVER done that. And she was in deep sleep when I had showered her with that love last night. "I repeated, "I love you, I love you, I love you, " to her... and then went and praised the Lord. So sweet. So very, very sweet!