Other Stuff...

photo by http://www.aliciabock.etsy.com/

There is an article today about the "Dirty Dozen"... foods that you really should splurge and buy organic.  Abby's illness has caused us to take a hard look at food and nutrition.  Much of what we eat from the grocer is simply deplete of vitamins and minerals.  Soil in which it is grown is not rested and doesn't have the minerals and vitamins in it... then food is picked before it's ripe to make it to the grocer in a form that looks appealing to the consumer... oh... and it's sometimes frozen on the way there... and if that isn't bad enough... it's covered in pesticides and other bad chemicals.  Hmmmmmmmmm... wonder why our country is totally consumed by cancer?

Here is the link to the article and it is worth reading... what we put into our bodies is just too important to ignore.  http://www.shine.yahoo.com/event/makeover/12-foods-that-are-worth-the-organic-splurge-706366/

On that same note:  the growth hormones in milk alone messes with our children big time.  Girls are having their periods YEARS earlier than they used to (or should) and hit puberty earlier due to being pumped with growth hormones (and antibiotics) given to cows to mass produce the meat this country consumes... so sad.  So needless to say... we buy organic milk... along with many other things. 

Anyway, enough of that soap box... Marc's birthday was this past Saturday and he was 2!  The sun made a wonderful appearance and we were able to have the party outside in the sunshine.  Here are some pics (for my mom).  Abby had one seizure this morning... it was a long one.  Please pray through out the weekend when you think of her. 

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

When is this thing going to start?

Seuss cakes...

Great Expectations

What a journey we have and continue to walk with Abigail Grace.  When I think of her birth mother leaving her in a carseat, on a table, in a cafe, in Kazakhstan... I am moved in the innermost parts at how God had already claimed this precious one to be mine... to be ours... to be his.  I often wish there was some way I could let her know that she is ok.

I know she was having seizures and I know that is why she was left.  Her birth mother couldn't handle it.  She hoped someone else could.  Well, I can't handle it either.  But God can.  And with his love and strength and grace and presence, I get the privilege of walking this journey with her.  How humbled I am that God knew he could love and take care of her through me.

Yesterday, my heart was in a daze and my mind was screaming but my soul was still.  It is this calm that is with me that I know is straight from the Father and I am so blessed to be in his hands.  Abby had one seizure this morning at 6 a.m.  Yesterday there was one at 6 a.m., 7 a.m., and then 7:30 a.m.  Then the one at school around 1:30 p.m.  She needs to sleep at least an hour after one to sleep off the effects... she can't talk, walk, or really function after one.  So I lied there with her and prayed this morning.  Prayed that God would keep another from coming and that he would allow her to sleep and recover from the one she had just had.  And she slept until 8 a.m., peacefully and without further disruption.  It was his gift.

 

I am keeping her home from school today.  I am hoping to do some fun things with her while watching her like a hawk.  This may prove difficult as when she is seizing like this, she is not very nice.  I know it is an effect from the seizures but it is still hard.  I have tried to hug her today and received a cry out and been pushed away.  I have kissed her on the top of the head and received a similar reaction.  I have also received some not so nice words from just having asked her how she feels and saying good morning.  It may be a long day.

I have a devotional that I talk about all the time.  It's "At His Feet" by Chris Tiegreen.  I am so thankful for the way this book speaks to me and how much the Lord uses it to encourage me.  It becomes hard to pray sometimes... when you are and have been praying the same prayers for years and years... when you have and continue to endure such highs and lows on the nonstop rollercoaster ride of emotions.  But there is an entry I am clinging to today and I wanted to share with you.

"Great Expectations" October 27 

"According to your faith will it be done to you."  Matthew 9:29

 IN WORD  Jesus speaks frequently of "great" faith.  In one place he could do no miracles because there was no faith there.  He did not rebuke people who asked to have greater faith.  Faith is apparently a very measurable thing.

  But just because faith is measurable does not mean it is just a matter of quantity.  It is also a matter of quality.  Faith is qualified not only by it's object, but by it's appropriateness.  The object of our faith is God-- He is large enough to accomplish anything on behalf of those who who believe in him.  But the appropriateness of our faith is another matter.  We can trust God's ability without knowing anything of his ways.  We can believe that he might meet our need without any understanding of whether he wants to. And our suspicion of Him at this point is often the flaw in our belief.

  Expectant faith is not assuming that whatever we name we can claim.  But neither is it simply a trust in his ability wihtout any knowledge of his willingness.  We know God can do great things on our behalf; we seldom believe that he will.  Before Jesus ever asked the blind men in this story whether they believed he was able to heal them, they had already appealed to his willingness: "Have mercy on us," they cried out (vs. 27).  They already knew what he was like, and they counted on his grace to be applied to them. 

IN DEED  We often tacitly acknowledge God's omnipotence, his ability to intervene in our lives, even in very specific ways.  But this is only half of faith.  It has nothing to do with our expectations as long as it remains only a theological proposition.  The other half of faith is understanding the mercy of God and his great willingness to intervene.  This is what brings his glory from the realm of theology into the practicum of our lives.  You want mercy and power?  Expect mercy and power.  And it will be done to you.

This is one that go back to often.  The underlines are mine.  But it helps me see one of my biggest weaknesses.  I have said, before, several times... no... many times... "I KNOW that God can heal Abby with just a thought... a touch... a breath... BUT I don't KNOW if he wants to."  You know what that is?   That's safe.  That is me being safe... proclaiming God's power all the while trying to protect myself in case she isn't healed.  And that is only exercising half my faith.  This devotional convicts me to the core. 

But then what do I do with what I see around me?  I see many people, God loving, fearing, walking people pray and fast for healing and it doesn't come.  It is because of this that I want to remain safe.  Here is what I see in this.  Every person that asked Jesus for healing in the New Testiment received it.  In one instance a woman asked for it, Jesus challenged her in her request, she replied to his challenge and because of her faith... she was healed.  Another one simply touched his robe... she said/asked nothing... but she believed and because of her faith, she was healed.  Jesus says time and time again... "because of your faith" you are healed.  It does appear that healing is clearly tied to faith.  And I do believe that God still heals today through the power of the Holy Spirit.  I am pressing into really looking where my faith lies... faith in God's character and his power and his willingness. 

I also believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that faith is grown, stretched, and refined through trials.  I feel that if I had just popped out babies whenever I felt like it, and they were all healthy, and we lived our merry little lives... that my faith would be NO WHERE close to where it is today.  Abby's illness has given me cause to cling to God's presence for my very breath, my very sanity, my very life.  It has caused me to question my faith.  It has caused me to encounter God in ways I never knew possible.  It caused me to let go, fall into a hole of darkness, just to find out that yes, my Father was there and caught me.  My belief in some areas has turned from "I believe" to "I KNOW"... and I count myself so lucky to KNOW these things.

But my spiritual growth continues... so does his mercy... and so does my/her testimony.  God has a plan.  And his plan is sovereign.  And his plan works out for good for those who love him... his word tells me so.  And I KNOW it is so.  SO I trust in that... and go deeper... deeper into what God wants me to know about him.  Deeper into how he wants me to seek him... trust him... rely on him... call on him... rest in him.  Deeper into how he wants to live through me... and it is one day at a time.   

Yesterday, my precious prayer warrior friend, Bree, came over to pray over Abby with me.  I told Abby she was coming to pray over her and Abby said, "Mommy, we need many many peoples... call many peoples."  I asked her, "Why do you want many people?"  She simply answered, "So I can get better."  My heart soared.  My child knows that we petition the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords in prayer so she can get better.  PRAISE HIM!  

   

Your prayers for Abby give me strength.  I feel them.  I felt them last night.  Thank you so much.  And please stay before him on her behalf.  Thank you. So much love...

The Attack Continues

Well, I am very aware that this world is not as it seems.  The spiritual attack against us is daily and my amazing amount of irritation is just that... an attack on all involved.  Sadly, more arrows have been hurled and I am in full throttle battle.

We found out late last night that someone who needs to be involved in Brenda coming back (I will not name them now) says that they don't have time or man power to be involved right now.  This has come as a GREAT shock but at the same time I am not surprised.  So we are waiting to see what happens now.

Then as if that wasn't enough, Abby had three seizures this morning.  It's been EONS since she has had multiple ones like that.  She had several last week and so she is sleeping with me now so I can monitor her better.  Each one this morning delivered deep blows to my heart and soul.

So I am standing firm on the promises of God, the power of the Holy Spirit who is active today, and my relationship with the Lord.  I had some quiet time late last night and in my prayer time, the Lord showed me two scriptures that spoke directly to what I was praying about.

I was praising him and telling him that I know he is bigger than any situation and his power is bigger than any problem... and that His plan is sovereign and good.  I asked him to show himself in this situation and just make his power known... to make it another testimony to who he is and how alive and active he is in our lives.  And I saw "John 1:14"  I opened my eyes and Fly Boy's bible was still on the coffee table from small group the night before.  I opened it, read, and smiled.  "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.  We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

So I pressed in deeper and used that scripture to pray to God some more.  "Yes Lord, we have seen your glory and we do know your truth... your glory and your truth shines in this dark world today!  Thank you that I can rely on your truth... that it is always there and constant... please show me the truth right now," I prayed.

I then told him that I just don't know that if this Brenda situation is a spiritual battle to try and keep her from coming to a family where she can know and accept Christ or if it's God trying to close doors.  I said, "You know my heart God, and I only want to do what you want me to do, I trust in your will and I am asking you to clearly show me your will and your plan and give me wisdom and guide me to see what you want us to do here."  And then I clearly saw Matthew.  Then I saw 14:28.  This has happened to me a couple times before when I have sat and waited for God to "speak" to me.  SO I turned with great anticipation but some hesitation to that scripture.  I had NO IDEA what it said... or even if there were 28 verses in that chapter!

Matthew 14: 28  "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "Tell me to come to you on the water."

Matthew 14: 29  "Come," he said.

I was so excited I had to call Fly Boy in and tell him!  I LOVE it when God speaks to me and shows me He is right there and that he is hearing my prayers!  I know that as long as we are honestly seeking God and his will... that He will make it and himself known!  And I will walk out onto the water to my Lord!

So that is what I am clinging to... and the knowledge of knowing that you will pray for us.  For us as we fight this battle... as we wait on the Lord... for Brenda... and for Abby.  I need you... and I am so thankful for each one of you.  You are gifts to me from the Lord. :0)

Thank you.  I love you.

POST EDIT:  Abby had a long seizure today at school.  Prayer warriors are needed... thank you.

Ready for Change

In an effort to keep my blog real, I sometimes share when I am not GREAT and HAPPY and OPTIMISTIC!  Well, this is such a time.  So stop reading now if you want bubbly Dawn because this is a post from tired and highly irritated Dawn. :0) (But I am smiling.)

I am finding myself just highly irritated.  And I don't like it.  I am irritated that it continues to rain ALL THE TIME and the backyard has been a mudpit for months and it gets tracked in numerous times a day.  I am irritated that we still have a hole in the dinning room ceiling that has been there since the first of November... of last year.  That's all I am going to say about that one.  I am irritated that I just don't have enough time to get everything  I want to get done... done.  I am irritated that the "adoption" process with Brenda is just so in limbo... it's exhausting.  I am irritated with the fact that I don't fit well into my clothing.  I am irritated with Fly Boy.  And lastly... I am simply irritated that I am irritated.  Yeah.  I'm just a great little party sitting here.

I hate feeling this way.  I am praying about it.  Talking about it with Fly Boy last night was mildly helpful.  Sitting in the sunshine on my back porch on Sunday enjoying the day was also mildly helpful.  But it's here... just sticking to me like a smelly little stinch.

I am ready for the rain to stop longer than one day and for the grass to grow back and some of the horrible red Georgia clay to disappear and my floors to be clean longer than 10 minutes.  I am ready for spring breezes to blow through the windows and play with the curtains.  I am ready for days upon days of sunshine.  I am ready for color to appear as beautiful little blooms rise up to play with the sun.  I am ready for solid information and a clear path with Brenda.  I am ready to fit into my clothes again and not have to try on 6 pairs of pants before one fits. (I have been walking and it's... mildly helping!)
I am ready to be caught up on the house... for things to be repaired, organized  and FINISHED. I am ready to fill joy again.  I prefer that to this all day long. 

So I'll continue to pray and wait... and try not to talk to anyone in the mean time!

My Love

There is something so amazing, tender, precious, strengthening, exciting, and secure about a love that continues to grow and bloom and hold you.  And when you can see God all over it, in it, above it, and under it... and know that it is a precious gift from Him... a way that He loves you for Himself... and blesses you both in return... there is a sweet warmth that fills you from head to toe... and you know you are really blessed.

I have such a love.  I am so blessed.  I am so thankful.  I am so lucky.  I am so loved.  I love so much.

That love has continued to amaze me time and time again.  It catches me off guard with little moments or conversations that wrap an extra layer of protection and foundation to it's very presence.  It is no longer the giddy love of two new hearts discovering little secrets and hidden places.  It is a mature love of two familiar hearts, tried and tested and stretched, forever entwined to discover little secrets, hidden places, and new adventures.  It is love... real love... and it is the most precious gift one can ever give or receive.

Thank you my precious Fly Boy... thank you for your amazing love that makes me feel yummy all over after 17 years... and thank you for letting me love you!

Twinkles xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

http://www.oaktreestudio.etsy.com/

JOY... SWEET JOY

Abby is doing so well... it makes my heart fill with joy.  She is down to 25 mg of Topamax in the a.m. and only 50 mg. in the p.m.  She was at 100 mg in the a.m. and 150 in the p.m.!  THIS is because of God... His power, His mercy, His blessing, His healing, His touch, His hand, His presence... and I am so very thankful.  She is learning.  She is more "with it".  Her behavior continues to be a challenge but we continue to pray for God's guidance in how best to discipline her as we love her deeply!   

Marc turns 2 next weekend.  Wow.  And 2 he is!  His language is coming...slowly... but coming along.  Geege is "George" for Curious George... his new found buddy!  His newest word is "up"... yeah... we like functional words.  He is also increasing his desire to attempt words... he makes the "sssss" sound for "s" and them "ummmmm" so now I am trying to get him to put them together for "some" when he wants something!  He says "more, nanna, mommy, daddy, Dusties, Abba, book, jack jack (jacket), ni night, hi, eeshe (juice), dugies (cookies), Isha, (Elijah), and a couple more.  He has recently hit the extreme seperation anxiety that is VERY trying right now.  So we are praying about that big time!   

So now we are getting ready to go to the lake house  for the winter break and planning Marc's party... it's a Dr. Seuss party!  He loves those books!  It's going to be cute... of course!

My children bring me joy this Valentine's Day... their health, their smiles, their growth, and their funny little quirks!  Happy Love Weekend!

Dawn~  xoxoxoxoxo

My regifted gift to you!

My sweet friend Bryan who knows I LOVE to sing praise to my Father... sent this to me... and now I share it with you!  Happy Love Day Friends... (pause the blog music down on the left first!)

Box of Hearts

Today I bought 4 boxes of candy hearts for $1.  Then I gave one to the cashier at Kroger with her name written on it (I peeked at her name tag... her name was Cynthia... like my sister).  She beamed from ear to ear.  It made her so happy.  It was the sweetest moment.  And it cost me 25 cents.  My other love gift is going in the mail.  I like this. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Today, I got a gift!

I gave my first love gift last night to Caitlin.  She is our babysitter... but she is much more.  She has become like a little sister.  She loves my children.  She prays for my children.  She loves my family.  She loves spending time with us.  And I love her.  I am so thankful for her... she is special.

Today I had a plan to give a gift... but I got a call that Abby needed to come home from school with a headache and then the afternoon was crazy as God gave me, gave us a gift!  He gave us the gift of Himself... in full glory... in His full power... in His perfect timing... He gave me the gift of reminding me He's right here!

There are more details on Brenda's blog!  So now tomorrow... I am giving TWO gifts of love! xoxoxoxoxo

Welcome Week of Love!

This morning I heard the radio peeps proclaim this the "Week of Love" and I thought... "I like that!"

And so I am claiming this the week of love and so should you!  I wanted to start of the week by sharing one of my favorite sites ever, http://www.etsy.com/ with you in case you need a great place to shop or just some inspiration!    

I did some virtual shopping there this morning... here is what I found...

For Abby: A Too Cute apron that she would LOVE as she loves to wear one in the kitchen with me!

http://www.bellastyle.etsy.com/

For Brenda: Very cute and colorful butterfly hair clips... as she LOVES butterflys!
http://www.mamaslittlebabies.etsy.com/

For Marc: Adorable little wooden letter blocks... Love them... hopefully he'll actually want to play with toys one day instead following me around!  Learning letters will be nice too!  http://www.tinygiraffeshop.etsy.com/

For me: Some very chic and colorful earrings from one of my favorite etsy stores... shy siren...

http://www.shysiren.etsy.com/

For my Fly Boy:  Well, this is the main thing I don't like about etsy... I don't find much there for him.  Men are so hard to buy for anyway... especially for Valentines Day.  I look up wood sculptures for an airplane... they all looked like toys.  They do have cool T-shirts... thought about that one.  Then I thought about a cool photograph... of what...?  Hmmmm.  He's really not "into" that much... (flying is his job... not really into planes... he's into his family but there is no photograpgh of us on there) makes it kinds hard.  So... I'll have to ponder that one!

I actually have a gift for each of the kids here and I sent Brenda's home with her.  Getting things through customs over there is a nightmare... they charge whatever they feel like as a "tax" and the recipient has to pay that to get what you have sent them.  So sadly, I won't be sending her anything while she is there... very sad.  Very wrong.  I am also making something cool for Abby that I will share later in the week! 

As for celebrating love week, I am going to do something loving for someone each day of the week... even strangers!  I am super excited!!!!!!  Want to join me...?  Do something fun, loving, thoughtful for someone each day this week.  If your mail person is a woman... put a small box of chocolates in your mailbox for her!  Buy a small bouquet of flowers at the grocery store... then give them to the check out girl... or a sweet little old lady walking to her car!  Have your kids make a valentine and give it to the guy behind your coffee shop counter... or the first person you see in public who seems to be in a bad mood!  Put a note on a random car in a parking lot and remind someone that God is just crazy about them! 

Come on... I dare you... share the love this week!!!!!!!! 

Sunday

Praise the Lord, O my soul, the Lord is good and full and passionate and sovereign and active in our lives today!  The Lord wants us to want all of Him and he is just awaiting to bless us beyond our imaginations!

"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisodm and knowledge of God!  How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!"  Romans 12: 33

Praise Him today!

Trying too hard

Wow.  It sometimes seems so simple.  And then I wonder how in the world I could have missed it.  And then, there it is again... a reminder... that I am trying too hard... to do too many things... to be too many things.

And today, as I looked at one of my favorite blogs, resolved2worship, I realized that I am simply trying too hard.

Yesterday, I got to meet the precious and God loving Beth Moore at our local book store.  She was there signing her latest book, So Long Insecurity, (that totally speaks to me right now!) and I happened to hear about it that morning on the radio station.  So of course I had to go, it's 3 minutes from my house!  Abby had a friend over for a sleep over and Fly Boy was out flying and so I took all three little ones with me!  Marc was in the stroller to be contained and the girls were armed with books to help occupy the hour I waited in line (they did SOOOO good).

As I finally got to her, she had already seen a bizillion women.  She had already signed their books and "chatted" with them.  Yet, when I walked up, she looked me straight in the eye and gave me the biggest Beth smile possible and in her sweet voice she said, "It is such a priviledge to meet you."  Then she stood up enough to give me a hug as if she was my long lost friend.  I was so moved by it, I could hardly speak.  And she hugged me for a good 10 seconds. 

I told her how much I appreciated her passion for God and for women and told her that I had a group doing the "Daniel" study now.  I told her it had changed my life, burning the phrase "friendly captivity" into my brain and upon my heart.  She noticed the kids and was delighted I had brought them.  Then she said to me, again, looking right into my eyes with her little hand in my face, and said, "There is no greater job than what you are doing right there."  I made a joke about how she has often helped me with what I was doing right there and then a sweet woman behind me gave me my cell phone back (she had taken a picture of us on it for me).  I looked down to see she had taken a picture of our hug but all you could see was my newly -increased in size- behind!  We all died laughing as I thanked her for such an intimate picture and Beth was so gracious to take another picture with me that I have GOT to figure out how to get off my phone!  And yes, I have a hat on since it was raining like crazy... makes getting in and out of the rain 20 times a day with kids easier... there is no extra hand for the umbrella anymore!

So then today, as I looked at Ann over at her "resolved" blog (another woman I just adore) Beth's words rang out in my head again.  And it hit me, the reality, the simple reality that I am trying too hard to do too much.  I am missing so much with my children because I am trying to do so many other things.  And they are good things.  But I have to slow down and enjoy each day more.  Like sitting at the table and coloring with Abby today... guiding her to color each item completely and with a different color.

Her picture is now on the fridge and it is the best picture she has ever colored... and she likes it.  Like sitting in the floor and showing Marc where the puzzle pieces go on his puzzle board... and rocking him for 5 more minutes.  Like laying beside Abby to nap after tucking her in.

I have realized today that the mission field can wait right now.  So can the free yard sale for needy families that I want to organize.  And so can leading another bible study when the one I am doing is over.  And so can decorating for other people.  And so can starting another business.  And so can...

I am releasing myself of a list of "ought to's" and focusing on what is right here... right now.  I have three children... two at home... and one that needs to feel like she's home... one I've got to get home. 

I feel better already!  Have a blessed Sunday tomorrow!

Half the Battle

It is a battle.  Every day.  So many are unaware of that... the battle... that involves them, their heart, their joy, their faith, their testimony, their very life!  But there is a raging battle and the enemy prowls looking for whom he can devour!  And so many are simply unaware.  Knowing, though, is only half the battle.

The word of God is so full of so many vivid and visual portraits of our world.  God warns us- "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind , that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2~  Being "transformed" takes an action on our part... renewing our mind.  And this is a battle in itself in the midst of this dark culture in which we live.  We are BOMBARDED with the enemies attacks and lies on the television, on the radio, in magazines, and even on billboards as we drive on the highway for crying out loud.  His attacks and subtle lies come at us all day from every where!   We have to be aware of them and we have to stand firm against them!

God shows us- "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6: 11,12  The battle is raging in the spiritual realm... one we can not see with our fleshly eyes... but it is present and it is after us... our hearts and our joy and our relationship with God... because the enemy is very angry that God has won the battle!  God is the beginning and end... and He has already won... every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord.  Since the enemy can not have our soul, he wants everything else. Every attack upon us, upon his children, upon our hearts, upon our health, upon our life is his attempt to hurt the one he hates most... Our Lord God and Father!

But God has provided a way for us to fight! "Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.  Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, " Ephesians 6: 13-18

This is a pretty clear picture that we are to be aware of a battle, we are to prepare for the battle, and we are to fight the battle.  It is also clear that we have to take action.  We have to make a choice to put on the armor.  The cool thing is that God provides the armor.  And if I am going to fight in a battle against the enemy... I want my armor to come from the Lord! 

We have to stand!  Not run, not hide, not ignore... we have to stand!  Around our waist... wrap ourselves in truth.  Protect the center of our bodies with the very truth of the Lord.  Write scriptures on note cards and put  them every where!  On your bathroom mirror.  On your fridge.  On your walls.  On the dash of your car.  In your wallet.  Let truth peek out at you and speak to you from every corner as does the advertisements of distraction and lies!  Memorize it!

Then there is a breastplate of righteousness.  First, a breastplate if an offensive piece of armor.  Actually, all of the armor is offensive except for the sword of the spirit.  But a breastplate protects our chest, our heart, our life.  It is made of a very hard metal that will not allow sharp objects to penetrate.  It covers us.  God's righteousness covers us, keeps the penetrating objects from penetrating!  But we have to put it on.  "Let the heavens declare His righteousness, for God Himself is Judge." Psalm 50:6  "He shall say, Surely in the Lord I have righteousness and strength." Isaiah 45: 24 

Above all... taking the shield of faith.  The shield is something we hold, we move it, we thrust it out to meet the attack.  We can also duck under it.  "And His name, through faith in His name, has made this man strong, whom you see and know. (a lame man the disciples had just healed through the spirit of God, the Holy Spirit)  Yes, the faith which comes through Him has given him this perfect soundness in the presence of you all." Acts 3: 16  "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11: 1 Faith is something that God gives us, it is something that grows and deepens, it is the foundation for our belief.  It is vital for our salvation and our relationship with God.  It also needs to be protected... You don't want to fight without a shield. (I skipped the feet... gospel... that's entirely another post!)

Helmet of salvation and sword of Spirit.  I really like these two.  The helmet of salvation wraps my head, my mind, my thoughts in truth... truth of my salvation... truth of God's promises... truth of who I am in Christ.  Protecting my head is as important as protecting my heart.  I have to be so very cautious of what goes in my ears and eyes... what cycles in my thoughts.  This is one of the main reasons we disconnected our cable two years ago.  No more television.  Not that all television is bad... I love HGTV and we watch some shows on the computer (about one a week).  But is is Satan's playground and that is an offensive way I protect my time, my eyes, my thoughts, AND my children!

"The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."  That sums it up.  The word of God is our one defensive piece of armor.  We use it.  We use it to protect and we use it to attack... to fight.  To use it though, we have to read it, to study it, to know it.  The cool thing is that by just putting on all the above, you have to be in the word!  By just preparing for battle with the offensive... your defensive piece is forged. 

So what is this!?  This is my quiet time today... posted.  This is what I needed today to claim a good day.  This is what I need to do each and every day.  This is what I am going to print and place in my room, in my car, in my purse, in my bible... this is my pep talk to myself!  And now to you.

I am just like everyone else.  I have bad days.  I have feel sorry for myself days.  I have days where I allow the enemies lies to steal my joy bigtime.  Putting on a pair of pants yesterday that are the biggest I have ever worn (and they fit) opened up a HUGE arena for the enemy to attack me... and I just lied there... and cried... and let him have his way with me. Well, today I am not!  I got a phone call from the adoption coordinator yesterday with again disappointing news... and I was attacked... and I just lied there... too emotionally tired to fight or claim God's truths over the matter... and the enemy just went to town.

Then I saw that my sweet friend Amy had been "blue" too and was hopeful because I had claimed today would be a good day.  So I felt I needed to share how I was making that claim... taking a stand!  And I will fall again.  And I will get dressed again... and if the armor I put on is from the Lord... I will trust him and put it on again and again and again.

Much love... hope you didn't fall asleep reading this one... Hugs.

Dawn

Yesterday was my birthday.  I am now 36.  None of my clothes fit.  What a present!
Today is Dusty's birthday.  He is now 4 or 28.  I love him so very much.
Tomorrow is a friend's birthday.  She is cool.  I miss Jules. 
Even though I am feeling very blue today, I am embracing the color of the month!
Tomorrow will be a better day.  I claim it.

Prayer Request

Hello dear friends.  As I posted several weeks ago, my mom had some knee surgery done.  She was admitted into the hospital last night after having very intense pain in her calf for a couple days.  It was and is an 8 inch blood clot.  God is so very good.  My parents thought it was like a huge charlie horse when it first started and were doing some major rubbing and massaging of the mass.  IF that thing would have dislodged, it would have been as bad as it could be as it would have moved to her lung... We are just PRAISING HIM for his hands of protection!

She is expected to be in the hospital for three to four days on blood thinner and then on one for three months to prevent further clots.  Your prayers for speedy disolve of this clot and discharge from the hospital are appreciated!  And don't forget the PRAISE!  Thank you!

The important things and that never ending search for balance.

I have just concluded two rough weeks.  I can't concentrate, as I have said before.  I don't have enough time, as everyone says! HA  My house is a disaster.  I DID get the christmas tree down and put away.  But Christmas boxes are still sitting in the dinning room along with the kid's Christmas tree and other things that need to be boxed up.  Laundry is screaming from the hampers.  Brenda's room still has the bed unmade from where it was stripped when she left and the matress topper and coverlet are in the floor.  The floors get cleaned and then are trashed again within an hour with muddy paw prints from the wet swamp mud pit in the back yard and debris/dirt/trash from the garage floor. 

Marc's room floor is scattered with toys.  Abby's room is not.

 As a discipline measure, I packed up all her toys last week.  This took an entire day.  I purged as I boxed and then I made a "treasure box" out of her favorite things.  There is a gallon zip lock bag with three Barbies and some outfits.  There is a quart zip lock bag of crayons.  There are coloring books and of course her favorite books, Madeline, Curious George, and her magazines the G-Mom gave her a subscription to for Christmas.  Now she gets to earn her priviledges back after two days in a row of good choices and good behavior.  It is working so very well.  I am so thankful to my friend Mary Jane who put the idea in my head as her husband had just packed up sweet Bella's toys the day before we visited her farm.

When Abby walked into her room and saw the cleaned out shelves and closet, she said, "Thank you". 

My mom to mom group had talked about children being overwhelmed by the amount of toys they have, the number of books, and activities to choose from and how they actually need their rooms decluttered to declutter their minds and their little lives.  When she looked around and said, "Thank you," I became a true believer.  She picked a doll her first time in the box and a bag of crayons for the second.  She plays with that doll all day and has been coloring like crazy.  It has made her happier which in turn makes me happier.  And she is very good about her choices (most of the time) as she wants to earn some of her things back.  I am so thankful.

I am feeling a bit aggitated that I can't do everything I want to do in a day.  But I am trying to pick the things that matter.  I thought about not going to Mom to Mom on Thursday to stay home and clean.  That day not only did I get some great guidance, I had 6 women hold hands and pray blessings and protection over Brenda in agreement before the Lord, another woman allow us to lay hands on and pray protection over something very important to her right now, another one let us in to some deep pain she is going through, and another one just rejoice in the fact that we were all together.  I could have stayed home and done laundry... and I would have missed something very beautiful and meaningful.  I would have missed God.

So I am going to quit blogging and go do loads of laundry, make beds, clean a kitchen and my bathroom before we go spend the afternoon with dear friends.  And I know that the house will not be perfect when I leave, but I will get to see God.  And that's more important to me than clean floors anyday of the week!

NEW BLOG!

Precious friends... I have received a huge response and I thank you so much for your friendship and prayers and willingness to walk with us through another adoption journey.  I actually made a new blog today to keep it all seperate from "One Beautiful Life".  I struggled because I often get emails from people who have stumbled upon my blog and have been ministered to... I love how God can do that!  And so I leave this one open for His will and have started a new one for Brenda.  Even working on it today has brought me joy!  SOOO... all of you who have and will email me... I'll be sending you the address to the closed blog for Brenda on Monday.  Thank you again for your love... I just adore you!

NOTE:

Email me please-  allfromhim@bellsouth.net- if you want to continue following my blog.  I am making it private on Monday, Feb. 1, 2010 for as long as needed.  I need the support, love, and encouragement from you all AND your prayers.  The need for it to become private has arrived.  Thank you.
Dawn~

Trust

Trust is a funny thing.  It's a very hard thing to do.  It openes the door for doubts and major attacks from the enemy.  Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  We want to and are trying to adopt Brenda.  We were not allowed to say so until she was asked by the orphan court and had made a decision not reflective of our desire.  She was asked, she said yes, and that's not enough.  This is difficult. 

There is more but I will have to privately share that with you.  THIS IS DIFFICULT.

We want to move forward with the paperwork so that when the "ok" arrives, we are already half way or moreso there.  But several of the steps require large amounts of money that we don't want to spend if they decide she really doesn't want to be adopted.  THIS IS DIFFICULT.

My God says to trust in him.  He says he knows the desires of my heart.  He says he wants to give me the desires of my heart.  He says he will not leave a good thing he has started unfinished.  He says his ways are not our ways.  He says lean not on your own understanding.   He brought her here to us.  He led us and gave us an advocate heart for children.  He provided the funds to get her here.  He gave her the courage to trust us.  He loved her through us and she saw him.  He loves her more than I can even imagine loving her.  He is in control of everything.  He can handle everything.  He wants to love and redeem her.  He has her in his hands.  This is the God I lay my burdens down before every morning.  This is the God I cry out to when my mother's heart is breaking and feeling helpless.  This is the God I fall into when I am feeling afraid.  This is the God I will daily surrender to and trust... even if I have a venting moment or two.  I love my God, he loves me, and he loves Brenda.  He is the Ancient of Days.  I will trust him.  I will.

Pause music on player at bottom left!
One of my new favorites! 
Enjoy.  Happy Tuesday. 
Pray.
Dawn~

Who can forget!?

Here it is... a reminder of how HIDEOUS our master bath was when we bought this house last summer.

But I knew it had potential... this is what I saw in my head...

Goodbye HIDEOUS crawling creeping magnolias that caused HIDEOUS headaches when you walked into the room!  Hello cool and calming favorite color pale blue with white, black and rubbed bronze accents!
I LOVE this room now.

The window by the tub is one of my many favorites about the house.  I love the way the light streams through...warming the room and tile floor... shinning on your face when you steal away for a tubby!

It totally bothers me the builder didn't center it on this wall... but that would have made sense!  So I live with it slammed in the corner!  Builders need much more female imput when building and drawing up plans!  Electrical outlets in the middle of the wall as well as thermostats drive me crazy!  And light switches on the wrong side of the door.  Ok... take a breath... better now.

My super favorite part about this window is looking out at the ridge line and the amazing sunsets it frames every single night!  Sometimes I am downstairs and see an amazing display of God's creativity through my kitchen window and then run up here to get a "better" look!

This was where a lovely gold towel bar was attached to the wall.  I hate towels draped on bars like bad accessories and I am way not a gold girl... jewelry or house hardware... so Fly Boy took down the rod and we attached the hooks right to the wood that the bar was attached to and we love it!  Still have to replace door knobs and Fly boy is spray painting the hinges of the doors and cabinets with this great metal spray paint from Home Depot that has metal in it!  Rubbed Bronze is our flavor!  Instead of paying $4 a hinge... we paid $7 for a can and just went to town!  We did it in the kitchen too!  And several metal gold light fixtures!

 

We went ahead and replaced faucets and knobs with rubbed bronze.  We took the gold light fixture from this bathroom and painted with the metal spray paint and put it in Abby's bathroom... she had raw lightbulbs in there (yuck) and wanted a bit more weight in ours.  If you look in the mirror, you will see another quick and almost free fix.  The shower doors are trimmed in... yep... gold.  So I bought a shower rod and hung a white shower curtain I already had over them.  Wah Lah... no screamin gold!  I just close my eyes when I walk into the shower!  Later in life... granite and higher cabinets will finish this room off.  For now... we enjoy it!

 

And here are the girls enjoying it... along with the tubby dress up dolls from Grammy! 

More redo pics to come... thanks for your patience.

Sunday

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,

who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28~

"However it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived

what God has prepared for those who love him" but God has revealed it to us BY HIS SPIRIT. 

The Spirit of God searches all things, even the deep things of God." I Corinthians 1: 9,10~

"This is what we speak, not in words taught to us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words....." I Corinthians 1: 13-16~

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.

 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  As the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out of my mouth: It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55: 8-11~

"Praise the Lord, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. 

For great is his love towards us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. 

Praise the Lord."  Psalm 117~

Need I say more...???

This has been a trying week, yet also one with great presence of the Lord, hope, and peace.  Friday brings with it some closure and some anticipation.  Friday is a good day.

Fly Boy gets home from a three day this afternoon and I am hoping to go out for some time alone.  I have a great book I am reading and am also very much wanting to purchase the "Consumed" album by Jesus Culture.  Great music, great book, and great company (my Lord) is always a great recipe for some refreshing of heart, spirit, and soul.

I have a friend from high school who left on the 21st to go to China to meet, hold, love, and bring home her second, "hand picked" from God, daughter!  I am so excited for her... for all of them.  A team from New Horizons for Children left this week, as well, to travel to Latvia, Ukraine, and Russia to speak with the children who were here and interview new ones.  Prayers for these two situations are so appreciated.  It was very disappointing and frustrating that our question has still not been asked.  Waiting is very, very hard.

This pic if from my friend's blog and I had to add it as it made me laugh out loud about 6 times!  I am guessing it was not Friday here!

Happy Weekend... and be sure there are no giggling children in your dryer before you turn it on!

Dawn~

Stuff...

Wow.  Distracted.  Frustrated.  Anxious.  Surrendered.  That's been the last few days.  There is so much to say.  Yet, because some dear child has access to my blog, careful words are required for now.  Frustrating.  How I long to spill my heart, as I longed to do many times she was here.  But we can't.  We are not allowed.  For various reasons.  Good reasons.  Thought out reasons.  But it makes it no easier.  Are you with me at all!?

"Be anxious in nothing, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication, WITH THANKSGIVING let your requests be made known to God; and the PEACE of GOD, which SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING, will GUARD your HEARTS and MINDS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS." Philippians 4: 6,7~

This scripture is what I am clinging to right now.  This is what I am proclaiming, pressing into my heart, trying to remain focused on and surrending to yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  I LOVE God's word and the way it breaths on us and speaks to us.  What a precious and holy gift to us.

I have felt like a school girl having her first crush... that lack of concentration.  Latvia is 7 hours ahead of us in time.  So here it what it is like... sometimes in my head... for ten seconds... ready....?

What time is it? 

What time is it there?

I wonder if she is home from school yet?

What did she wear... something I bought her?

Did she have a good day?

I wonder if she has piano practice?

I wonder if she has left me a message yet?

I wonder if she feels lonely?

I wonder if she really knows how much I love her/we love her?

Why has it not happened yet?

When are they going to ask?

Seriously... what is the hold up?

Stop it. Calm down.  Get a grip.

Should I call the coordinator?

Should I send the lawyer a friend request?

No.

Stop.

Relax.

Breathe.

Focus.

OK. Better now.  God is in control.

God is in control.

God is in control.

God's plan for me/for us is good.

I need to pray.

Stop and pray.

Yeah.  That's just a glimpse!  HA.

The Lord brought peace to me Monday night. What a sweet gift.  To feel that peace come, in the midst of your circumstances that are still the same, and to know that it is the peace mentioned in the above scripture, is just the most precious and calming thing... gift... blessing.  So I have had much less of the above moments, although they slip in from time to time.  Instead of walking in circles and having them 100 times a day... I may be down to 5 times a day.  Instead of checking my messages 20 times a day... I try and check just 3! :0)

On other news... Abby's health is a huge praise right now!  We have had two seperate intense prayer times of healing for her and she is doing amazingly!  She is getting out like 5 to 6 thoughts at a time!  HUGE.  She also just hopped on her scooter, pushed about four times, then slid the right foot up behind the left on the scooter and rode it down the road, balanced... she has NEVER been able to do that.  HUGE!  We also have decreased her Topamax two times for a total of three times and she is now at half her original dosage... just 125 mg per day instead of 250!  AND she is not having seizures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  PRAISE THE LORD WHO REIGNS IN HEAVEN AND ON EARTH!  We are decreasing again this Saturday night!  I am so excited for her and thankful to HIM!

" As for me, I will call upon God, And the Lord shall save me.  Evening, morning, and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice."  Psalm 55: 16,17

I do have a prayer request.  My mother had a knee replacement surgery today.  Everything went well and she is home resting!  Prayers for her continued healing, self control to obey doctors orders, and renewing of body and spirit are so appreciated!  THANK YOU.

Much love... and hugs... Dawn

Sunday 5:25 p.m.

The Lord is my strength, and I will forever call to Him.

The Lord is my shield, and I will forever cling to Him.

The Lord is my light, and I will forever seek Him.

The Lord is my path, and I will forever run to Him.

The Lord is my comfort, and I will forever fall into Him.

The Lord is my guide, and I will forever trust in Him.

The Lord is my provider, and I will forever pray to Him.

The Lord is my security, and I will forever rest in Him.

The Lord is my Father, and I will forever love Him.

The Lord is my Saviour, and I will forever proclaim Him.

The Lord is my Redeemer, and I will forever praise Him.

The Lord is my Everything, and I will forever be whole in Him.

Dawn~ (turn off music before playing)

And so I worship...

Questions!

Hello.  Happy Saturday.

We tried to skype our sweet Brenda this morning and she could see us but we could not see her.  We are using Fly Boy's Netbook.  Anyone know what we may be doing wrong!?

She asked me to set up a twitter account.  I am SO "LD" when it comes to all that stuff.  I accidently friended 20 twits that I want to remove.  Can't find how to delete them.  Can anyone can help me with that!?

It is hard to concentrate.  I am thinking about communicating with her all the time.  I have such a void and the language barrier is much harder when you are not standing with each other.  I am starting a journal for her today.

Some of you have asked questions in my comments.   They will be answered soon... soon.... :0)

Please help me if you can!?
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!