Breakdown
So today I have had three major breakdowns. They have been a long time comin... a girl can only hold it together for so long.
The first one was this morning when my heart was greatly attacked. As I mentioned yesterday, it is all out war and the prince of darkness hit me hard in yet another deep part of my heart today.
As I sobbed by the side of the tub as Marc took his morning bath... Dusty first came to my side and started licking my face. Oh the heart of my precious dog is such a precious gift from God. Then... Marc started mimicking me... making sobbing sounds in the tub and then laughing... And as quickly as the flood gates had opened... the Lord turned my tears into hysterical laughter.
The second breakdown came at the McDonalds drive through window as I ordered two apple juices, a medium fry, and a iced mocha. Abby's heart, that had not been so nice, just melted and she reached out her hand to me. Her eyes gave me such love... it was a sweet gift.
Then in Publix, just 45 minutes later, Fly Boy called to tell me the insurance company called to say they were not going to cover the speech therapist for Abby that God so graciously brought to our attention. I said some very, very choice words, hung up, and started bawling like a baby next to the siran wrap. Children were walking by and looking at me for goodness sake. The poor cashier was praying for me as she scanned my items, the bagger gave me a hug and told me she loved me, then another customer followed me to the parking lot to ask me if I was ok.
As I sat in my car, really noticing that I had just fallen to pieces in the middle of the grocery store, I just had to laugh. Then when I got home and opened the mail box, the sweetest and most loving card was waiting for me... even with a hand drawn picture of me with my hair falling out! (it's been falling out in massive quantities for a month now) It was priceless and I laughed so hard.
So today, as you pray, look and see where God has spoken to you today, where He has encouraged you today, where He has loved you today... even if you had a breakdown on isle 7. And then thank Him.
Ph boy...it sounds like you have a good doseof stress going on! I am so sorry that everything seems to be happening at one time and that your heart has been attacked (it is so unfair!).
ReplyDeleteYour spirit is amazing and I just *know* that with time and perhaps a little space to breathe you will gain your strength back and be laughing without the tears. I am heading to Cape Cod to be at the beach with my brother and his family this weekend and I will say some extra prayers by the ocean (the best kind for me!) that things start easing up soon
Thank you for sharing....I had a pretty rough day myself. I just let a few tears come as I read your post and told myself tomorrow will be better. :) And my heart is about to be melted when I go pick up my sweet angel Hannah. I love you, Dawn. :)
ReplyDelete-Jennifer