One Beautiful Life

My Precious One

Here is my precious one... in the grass... playing in the straw with her precious little rake.

She'd gone 17 days without a seizure until this morning. I awoke at 5 a.m. to her restlessness. I started praying and patting her back, stroking her hair, trying to calm her back into sleep. I thought about how happy I was that we were so close to three weeks. But I felt it coming. I knew it was coming... just around the corner in the shadows. I prayed a little harder... a simple plea... "Please Lord, no seizure... please Lord, no seizure." She suddenly jerked, her left leg kicked and stiffened and her left arm came up in a clenched fist as her body tensed. The anger and sadness in me battled with the acceptance of this is her life... our life... our reality. The sadness won as I embraced her and spoke words of reassurance to her.

She came out of it and snuggled into me. She tried to talk but her lips and tongue denied her control and left her in mumbles. She's a fighter though... so she mumbled and mumbled until she got out, "What day is it?" The choices are school day, play day and church day. "It's a play day for you precious one." She snuggled in closer and sweetly said, "I had a little seizure." "Yes, yes you did honey... are you ok, does your body feel ok?" "I'm cold... my arms are tingling." So I held her and rubbed her arms for another thirty minutes as she went back into a restoring sleep.

So I am sad today. We'll probably have to increase Keppra tonight. And hopefully we'll start back with number one tonight.

I know I have asked you so many times before... and I ask you again for your prayers for her. Please pray for her seizures to stop, for her mind to open and grow, and for her heart to bloom and be protected. Thank you so much.

My clomid fog has lifted... I am thankful for that. Yesterday was the first day in two weeks that I felt normal and was actually productive! We'll see what I can get done today too!