Always giving praise for the blessings...

Happy Monday to you. Today's entry will be short as I am tackling life with energy today! Yeah! What sleep can do for you... amazes me every time I get some!

Abby didn't have a seizure this morning. Praise. She was VERY cranky though.

I am devoting this week's entries to prayer. And I want to thank you all again for your precious comments and emails with gifts of prayer for her! It fills me.

The above picture was in 2004 when we still didn't know what was wrong with Abby. She was having a great number of seizures each day and this was at the beginning of her great decline.

I posted it to give you a "reference" from which to Praise God today for what He has done and continues to do for Abby!

The middle picture is when Abby had lost the ability to walk, pretty much lost facial expression and was drooling... it was the beginning of our darkest days. Walking through life at that point was like sleep walking in a dream... a bad dream. This picture was taken at a B&B where my family gathered to celebrate my mother's 50th birthday.

And lastly, the top picture is Abby today. Yes, she is still having seizures. Yes, she is very developmentally delayed. But she walks, talks, laughs, swims, plays, runs, and has come further than I would have ever imagined she could have in those days. PRAISE Him for great and bountiful blessings!!!!

So in your prayers for her today... remember to praise Him in the midst of petition! Thank you!!!! Love and Hugs... Big Hugs!

Prayers of a Psalm

I turn to the book of Psalm often when I want to pray God's word. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I pray many different ways. I love to find a quiet place in nature and just start talking to God. That is one of my favorite ways to pray. Another favorite is my daily conversing prayers like, "Thank you Lord the juice is on sale... you are so cool to provide that blessing," or "Please watch over Abby today at school and open her mind for learning and give her the ability to converse with her peers," or "Thank you for the encouragement you so sweetly gave me through that friend... you rock!" The later prayers are always very quick and simple and I strive to offer at least 10 plus up to Him a day.

But my absolute favorite way to pray is to pray God's written word back to Him. I feel the Holy Spirit stir inside me when I pray this way and I feel power and hope as I offer back to the Lord of Lords the very words He inspired. My favorite place to find these "prayers" is the book of Psalm. When I want to offer praise... my options runneth over!

"Praise the Lord, O my soul: all my inmost being, praise His holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--- who forgives all your sins and heals your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." Psalm 103: 1-5~

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what He has done." Psalm 105: 1~

But this is where I also go when I am feeling desperate... overwhelmed... and simply exhausted from praying the same prayer every night after night after night. I find comfort in speaking words of David and other psalmists who cried out to the Lord.

And I am feeling overwhelmed. As Abby grows in an age number, she is not growing developmentally and it becomes harder and harder to... accept, adapt to, manage, help... watch.

I believe so strongly in the power of God. I believe with all my heart and soul that He heals today just as He did in biblical days. The scripture says that the power of God that Christ used to raise the dead is "available" to us as believers today. "Available" is the key word. It is the word that leaves me longing for wisdom. What does that "really" mean. Do I need something more? I am lacking something? Faith? Obedience? Endurance? Knowledge?

Then I take a breath... gather my thoughts... and remember... God can heal Abby anytime, any way, and any how and it can have NOTHING to do with me. It is not by my works that God will decide whether or not to heal Abby. Although there are several accounts where Jesus was moved to heal a child when He saw the parent's faith. But there were other times He did it simply to glorify the Lord God. It had nothing to do with the one being healed or his parents. BUT He does desire our prayers, hears them, answers them (according to His will), and can be moved by them.

So these are the thoughts that roll around in my brain as I pray and pray and pray over and for my child. And as I try and sleep! Even though Abby has not been healed, she has been restored from the brink of death and I remain thankful for that every day. And even though she has not been healed, my prayer life is one of such that I doubt I'd have if it were not for her illness... and that is a blessing amidst the darkness.

And so I continue to pray and I have been moved to ask you to pray and I am moved by your sweet offerings to do so and I believe in my heart that you are. That, in itself, offers me strength and hope... and makes me not feel so alone. Thank you.

As you continue to pray this week, I will offer ideas about prayer as well as requests. For now, I'll share some of my favorite prayers of cries for help in case you want to read over them and offer them back to God on her behalf. Thank you... again... so very much.

"Hear my prayer, O Lord: let my cry for help come to you. Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress, Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly." Psalm 102: 1,2~

"O Lord, I call to you: come quickly to me, Hear my voice when I call to you. May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting of my hands be like the evening sacrifice." Psalm 141: 1,2~

"I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way." Psalm 142: 1-3~

"O Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief (Abby's relief). Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you." Psalm 143: 1,2~

Amen~

Be Authentic

Thank you Michelle. I do not know you. But God, once again, has given back to me by sending me someone through this blog. He has done that SO many times... He continues to amaze and move me.

Michelle commented on my last post. Had she not, I would have not known that this sweet woman I do not know is praying for my daughter. And I would not have gone to her blog. I would not have "met" her and I would not have been introduced to Brene Brown through her blog and I would not have been blessed by Brene's "I Choose Authenticity" post!

And the amazing thing is, I was feeling a bit "guilty" for my last post... sharing my frustration about hurt from friends who just don't seem to get it. And there it was... my confirmation that being real is what I strive to do... and that includes sharing a "bad" moment with people who love me and call me "Friend"... along with the blessing of a new "friend".

And I thank all of you who posted... Erin, Jules, Donna (another blog friend who has become so much more), Michelle and Brittany... thank you for your gift of prayer. I love you... even on my bad days and in my bad moments!!

The above is from Brene... her words do it best... and I challenge you... be authentic! Why waste your time being anything else?

Abby Update

We live with Abby's disease on a daily basis. Some days are bad. Some days are good. Some days are ok. And some days are great. We try so very hard not to let Abby's disease rule our lives. We have been there... and we can't stay there. So we try, strive, and pray to see Abby and love Abby and grow Abby outside of her disease. We don't ignore it by any means... but we focus on all the positive things... moments... achievements... and blessings.

So having said all that, Abby's seizures are not the topic of daily conversation. It sometimes catches me off guard when a friend, closer friend, seems surprised when we talk about Abby's seizures... "She's still having them?" YES. Abby still has seizures. I honestly feel like some don't ask anymore because they don't want to hear it anymore. But that's where we live, every day, with Abby's disease.

Abby had a seizure yesterday that was the longest one she has had in a while. She has been having two a week for over a month now. It is so hard to be with her and watch. I talk to her. I try to "snap" her out of it by calling her name... asking her to try and look at me (and sometimes she does) and so I know she hears me. But other than that, I just have to watch. And when they are long... part of me is damaged too.

Abby had another seizure this morning as I was trying to wake her up for school. It was the first time she's had one two days in a row in a long time too. It was heart breaking. At first I was in denial for about three seconds (as if that would make it not be so) and then acceptance arrived, followed by sadness, followed by deep disappointment with God, followed by resolve, followed by Praise. The emotional roller coaster is tough.

So we are asking for prayers. And I have to tell you how thankful I am that you do pray. I do not take prayer for granted. I do not under estimate it's power in the least. God has made me a believer and I am so thankful for that. Don and I pray with Abby each night, over her each night, and for her each night. I pray powerful "authority" prayers, humble begging prayers, tearful prayers, angry prayers... you name it... it's offered up.

Please pray for her daily. I am asking that you do something to remind you to pray for her. I know so many need prayer and there are so many things to pray for. But if you could pray for her daily for seven days, I would appreciate it so very much. You can put her name on your fridge, write it in eyeliner on your bathroom mirror, tie a ribbon for her on your steering wheel... just something to remind you to lift her up... we are praying for God to be audacious. We are praying for healing. We are praying for guidance. We are praying for a miracle. We are praying for patience, knowledge, wisdom, hope, strength, endurance, energy, balance, and peace.

Thank you. I love you so much. Hugs.

Gettin Jiggy With It

I have lost all motivation to keep moving forward with the house stuff. Sooooo... I took a break and made some stuff. Whenever I am feeling in a funk... creating always makes me feel better. On top of being EXHAUSTED (way badly... had some tests done today), my hair falling out in MASSIVE quantity, every electronic we own breaking... our computer crashed.

So yesterday we had a great guy come out who fixed it and fixed my lap top. However, Fly Boy slicked the hard drive, yet again, to try and fix it himself and so I lost my photo editing software... again. Hopefully, I'll find it soon to reload it but until then... unedited photos alert!

Here are some random photos of my creating craze. I am feeling better and put the sewing machine away and am tackling the homestead again. Before and after pictures will be here soon. Hope you are having a great week. Hugs.

I am LOVING these fabric flower pins! I have already mailed one as a gift and another is to be mailed soon... hmmmmmm... and I also made two for Abby (one on a pony tail rubber band) and she wears them everyday!

This is a bag I had monogrammed for my business way back when! When I sold my business, I kept it to "repurpose" since the blog address was old and she couldn't use it.

Here it is now! It's now a very cute (If I can say so) diaper bag for the little man! I used an old shower curtain for the main piece of striped fabric and just sewed it across the monogram and added the bling! Notice the silver "pig" button! AND since I can't edit it... you can't read the little button beads, but they say, "Marc Parker".

When we were in the adoption process, I bought these vintage cards on etsy. I wanted to use them in the nursery or room. They are little cards with "Master Lion" and "Mr. Camel" on them and such. I finally got them out, went through my scrapbooking paper and found this adorable paper and taped them on with double sided scrapbooking tape. I put them in a frame I already had and it's now one of the highlights of Marc's room... I love it!

Next up are these adorable and colorful pillows I made to go on the bench in my kitchen window. Look familiar Shelley? I brought this bench in from our outdoor patio set to sit in the bay window in the kitchen behind the table. It needed some pillows. So I took one of the pillowcases I got from my wonderful friend Shelley's yard sale ( 2 for 50 cents). I restitched it to make it smaller and cut off one end and stuffed it with stuffing from Dusty's old dog bed (that I also cut and resewed into a smaller version since he'd chewed the edges). Then I took the end that I cut off and added it to some linen fabric that had been the liner to a big basket I bought for Marc's toys. I added the button, stuffed and sewed it up and now they are the cutest bench pillows ever!

I was playing Barbies with Abby the other night and was just disgusted with half her Barbie clothes and so I made a skirt for one of them. More clothes to come in the near future! Yes, she has on one tennis shoe and one boot... there are no matching little Barbie shoes in this house!

And last, but no least, I finally found lamp shades for these amazing vintage lamps my mother gave me for my birthday! I didn't make anything here... just HUNTED for months and then HUNTED for the coupons to save me $$$ on them. I have two lamps, needed two shades, and two coupons. The store took an outdated coupon with the new one and let me use them both at one time! I have one lamp in the living room and one in my bedroom... I totally LOVE them! Thank you Mother!!!!!!

Creek Adventures

I took the kids to the creek behind our house for a photo shoot this morning. We had a blast (some of us more than others)! It was a surprise for Abby who loves to "hike" on trails and be in outdoor settings like that. When we got there she was super excited... I was too!

She loves to be the line leader... and often asks me to sing, "Following the leader". So she quickly took her place and led the way.

It was the perfect morning. I left the dishes on the counter and the beds unmade! There is something that rises up in me when I am out in nature... it's primal, alive, and passionate... I love the way it feels. The creek was wonderful and since we have had a decent amount of rain, there were plenty of spots to play in where I could watch them and photograph them at the same time since Fly Boy is on a trip.

Abby was a bit in disbelief when I told her to jump in and get wet and start playing... in her clothes. It took her a minute to let herself go. It was funny. "In my clothes, Mommy?" "Are you sure?" Before really getting wet, she looked back just to be sure I was still ok with it!

She still wasn't too sure but sat down, I was cracking up at how stiff she was! "Get in there Abby... really... get wet!" She just giggled and that was that! She was ready. And I got some great shots.

So Abby wanted to take a picture of me. I had been in the water shooting her and she kept wanting me to get wet and play with her. So I carefully sat her on a rock, gave her the camera, and instructed her not to move her bottom! She took the picture and I was back out... and then back in with the camera for some more shots.

Why is Abby laughing so hard, you ask?

Because Mommy fell in... and I mean all the way in! As I felt my feet slip on some slime, I knew I was going down hard... so I held the camera as high above my head as possible (go go gadget arms) and fell like a ton of rocks. When I came up, Abby was laughing so hard she couldn't breath and I was thanking the Lord for saving my camera! Then I was bummin hard because my white skirt was now brown and green! Buster Brown was watching in disbelief from the sidelines.

Speaking of Buster Brown... he took it slow, backed his way in, had fun for about ten minutes and then was over it. That was another bummer but at least I got a few shots before his meltdown (included for your benefit).

Feeling Tired.
Drying on the warmth of the rock. And heading home to do laundry! Be blessed. I must refocus and try and get my home in order. It is being neglected... but for the good stuff!

P.S. This is what I looked like when we got home! So sad!

Time for a new header...

Since I am totally fascinated with my car pictures, it is time for a new header. So I have made three and I am curious what you think (especially since no one is talking (commenting) to me anymore.

So here are three and you can vote and let me know what ya think. I'll change them out over the next few days and use them all and then decide. Thanks for your input and hope you all had a good summer.

Falling in love... again

Campbell and I went on a photo shoot adventure this morning and hit the jack pot (and had loads of fun)! Every time we go to the lake we pass this GORGEOUS car on the side of the road and I have always wanted to stop and photograph it. It's always been too sunny or too late or the kids are too grumpy and yada yada. So when Campbell came to the lake last week, she had noticed it too and we decided we had to make a photo date with this car.

So after dropping Abster off at school, we set out to find this car and get some cool shots. Imagine my delight when we pull into the dirt driveway and look behind a gate to see the above! It's where well loved, gorgeous, and old sadly forgotten cars go when they die... car heaven and a photographer's dream!

I took almost 250 pictures and if I'd been brave enough to walk up around the bend ( I was holding my breath and waiting for a hungry dog to come charging at me) I could have stayed there all day. If we could have found something for Marc to eat, that is.

I totally fell in love with the Buick out front. As I photographed her, I could not get over the artistic lines and curves on this beautiful car (I think that may have been a guy moment or something)! She was by far my favorite (although there was a wonderful Lincoln waiting for me beyond the barbed wire)!

I loved everything about her, I mean, I was excited about her mirrors, her door handles, her hood, her key holes, her lights, her fender, her grill, and her rust! The color and texture was just amazing and God gave us the PERFECT overcast morning that gave us the perfect lighting! I am still a bit excited about it all.

Campbell and I walked around each other snapping shots and sweet Marc just sat next to us on the dirt drive quietly watching (that is until I went over the gate). We'll get to that later.


Out of 250 pictures, I have about 100 favorites, but the above picture just rocks. It is like a grand pendant on her neck! Seriously, I must go buy some shoes and step away from cars for a moment.
So after my love affair with the Buick, I HAD to go over the gate and check out the others. I mean, they were just RIGHT there and they were sitting there all sad and feeling left out and they were WAY lonely. I asked Campbell to stay with my child while I trespassed and went "in". Yes, I am not going over the gate (as that seems like the easiest way) because there was barbed wire running all along the top part on the inside, keeping me from getting a good grip AND I didn't want to snag my shorts. I had no idea Miss C was documenting the moment... thanks though!

I felt like a child entering a carnival! My heart was pounding as I was SURE there was a big angry dog in there somewhere. I started at the front and wouldn't even let my eyes look down the road for fear of being drawn deeper in! And then I saw her... this Lincoln just tucked away... calling my name so quietly (as not to awake the dog).





Isn't she beautiful? Look at the curve above her beautiful lights. And the star by her middle name. And the color! Seriously, poor Fly Boy is going to come home and all the walls in this house are going to be covered with car photographs! I am so in love! She totally rocks!



Then I met the Ford with the amazing airplane on her hood... how totally cool is that! My grandfather retired from Ford and so I am going to send him copies of this one! I love her too... she reminds me of a cow.




And then there was this Pontiac... she is amazing. Look at her grill! They don't make cars like this anymore... they are simply gorgeous! (I should go for a run)



She had these totally cool arrows on her. Simply beautiful.



OK... I am going to stop now. I could go on forever.. or at least 200 something more...



I did, however, photograph Campbell and Marc as well. I am going to start photographing families and children. I am super excited. Here is a sneak peek and I'll post more tomorrow!