One Beautiful Life

2012-02-08T08:21:00.000-08:00

Chalkboard Wall for Candi

OK... better late than never... right! I made a chalkboard wall way back when and I still totally love it. I love how we can use it for so many things and I love the way it personalizes my home! It is a super easy and fun addition and you can put one just about anywhere! Examples... kitchen wall, office wall, dinning room wall, children's bedroom wall, back of kitchen island, door, laundry room wall... and I am sure many more places. I have even seen one blogger chalkboard paint her fridge and it is awesome. I may try and find a picture and add it!

So here is my before wall. It was a sliver of a wall in a walk through hall area where

the door to the powder room is and the pantry. It also leads to the garage on the right and straight through to the dinning room. Soooo... that is a long explanation of why it is a tiny yet high traffic area! So the little wall right there was just begging to become way functional and super cute!

And here it is without the edging/cutting in complete but looking way fun! I actually put on three layers of magnetic paint first and then three layers of chalk board paint. The magnetic part is pretty weak. So... I guess I should have put like 5 coats of that or just skipped it. It was kinda gritty which caused me to put extra chalkboard paint on to get an even surface sooooo... I would have just skipped the magnet part of it and will in the future. :0-)

Here is what I used. This little sponge roller is one of my favorite tools ever... and my "wooster" brush.

The secret to a well done job is the right tools! DO NOT SKIMP on a paint brush. Yes... a "purdy" or "wooster" brush may cost you triple what a cheap one will... but it IS for a reason! "Wooster" is my favorite. The bristles STAY where they are supposed to stay which enables you to drag a nice, clean, and straight line for cutting in. I have used this one brush for years now and it has earned it's keep several times over!

Here are some secret tricks!

1.) If you need to walk away from the job to pick up a kid or have a phone conversation... place the roller or paint brush in a zip lock bag and seal it all around the handle. It keeps you from having to wash it out and keeps the paint from drying!

2.) I also do the above while I am waiting for coats to dry!

3.) Before you rinse the roller, take a plastic ruler of the wooden stir brush they give you and slide the edge down the roller... TONS of paint will come out that you can reuse and it makes cleaning the sponge roller easier and faster since there is a TON less paint in it.

4.) Always rinse the brush with the water flowing down the bristles off the edge, never down into the bristles opening it up with the pressure of the water. This keeps the bristles in line better.

5.) After you rinse the brush super well... walk outside and sling it in the air. Water will fly out of it, the bristles stay smooth and it dries super faster!

6.) Go in halves with a friend on the chalkboard paint. It is not expensive but unless you are covering a big wall, it does go a long way! That way two of you will be motivated to knock this project out and it will save you some money! :0)

Sorry this is a tad blurred. Lighting was terrible and the shutter stayed open longer!

But I wanted to show you that I added two clip boards from Wal-Mart. I hung them with a screw so they would be secure. The top of the clip board has that little metal tab where it can hang! We keep a little notepad for the grocery list on one (then we can just add to it & tear it off when we go shopping) and outgoing mail or other important items on the second one!

And here it is in full action! I LOVE it and I love seeing little art work at the bottom! Every time I see it, it makes me smile... still... after several months!

So this little craft/project post is dedicated to my sweet cousin Candi who loves this kind of stuff! :0)

Sorry it has taken me so long to get it on here!

Now go out and paint something!!!!!!

You will LOVE IT!

~Dawn~

2012-02-06T12:50:00.000-08:00

Out of Focus

"When you feel anxious, know that you are focusing on the visible world and leaving Me out of the picture. The remedy is simple: Fix your eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen." Jesus Calling

A friend of mine gave me the devotional, Jesus Calling, for my birthday last Friday. (Thank you Elizabeth!) Yes, I had a birthday. No, not many pictures. I have become oh so slack and nonblogger worthy with my camera. :0( Sorry.

One of the local christian radio stations reads from this devotion every night. It has often spoken to me as it takes a scripture and uses it as the basis of what Jesus might say to you about that subject. Today, I read the entry for my birthday, and it was the above. And it hit home... deeply.

Since coming back from my trip, I have this weight like a cloud that stays near as I feel so much of the pain and loneliness of the kids we saw and talked to. I KNOW they are in God's hands and I KNOW HE will help them but I can't shake this feeling of responsibility I feel towards them. I am here... doing what I do here and they are there... waiting and trying to survive with abandonment, neglect, loneliness, rejection, depression... among many other things.

I want to just go over and get this big bus and just get them all. I want to say the right things and talk to the right people in hopes that their hearts will be opened wide enough to let one of God's needy children inside. I have to tread lightly around people who don't get it as I just want to scream... "REALLY????" at them and the way they live their life. I have to give grace to others who act half interested and then run right back into their life of luxury and business and excess and selfness. I have to smile at others who actually ~~walk~~ ~~run~~ sprint past a table covered with faces and avoid all eye contact. It can be exhausting. Frustrating. Annoying.

In addition, one of my own needs extra of me... needs patient me... needs proactive and attentive me... needs loving and kind me... needs smart and alert me... needs the me who is trying to reach her heart and help heal her from past wounds and her own destructive attempts to deal with her pain and abandonment/rejection/delays/spiritual attacks/physical attacks. And today I blew it. I was patient. I was patient again. I was patient and firm again. I gave her two choices... try again or quit. Her behavior was her choice and we quit. She lost a privilege. Then she lost control. She lost control of her emotions and her mouth. I still remained patient. Her mouth continued and continued and continued. I felt myself approaching my wall with each outburst of her mouth. Twice I looked at her ready to spew my own rant... and twice I turned away. And then there was another outburst and she involved her brother and I lost it. All desire to be the adult in control, the calm and educated and controlled adult flew out of me life a raging waterfall. She had won. She pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed and I gave in... threw all the previous hours work down the drain in 5 minutes of spewing through clinched teeth and shaking from extreme emotional overload.

I came home, put her to bed, and went to my room. I wondered how and why in the world she can push me to the wall. I wondered how, knowing fully what is going on, that I can still cave in and spew like a burst pipe. And I picked up, Jesus Calling, and read the above. How thankful I am that Jesus can speak to me in times of such need. The visible... only seeing the visible. Yes. That is exactly why I gave in and lost it. All I could see was her defiance. Persistence. Disrespect. Disobedience. Disregard. All I could hear were her words that were stabbing me and begging me to fight back.

And I lost total focus of the real enemy. The unseen enemy. The one who knows I have been purposefully wooing her heart. The one who knows how deeply I love her. The one who knows that progress has been happening. The one who knows our connection is so deep and yet so tried. The one who was cheering me on to lose it... to stop with the loving eyes and give her the glare. The one who was trying to get another dagger into her heart through my very own mouth... how cunning and manipulative Satan is at all times. Oh how I hate him with every ounce of my being.

And I lost sight of the One who was standing next to me, the One who was ready to take all the pain she was throwing at me. The One who had given me every moment of self-control up to that point. Did I call out to Him during this attack? No. No I did not. I had read the book. I was trying to pull up and rely on my own strength. And I did... for almost an hour. The battle raged all around me in the unseen and I not once called on the One who says He goes before me. I let pride and self reliance talk me into standing my ground by myself. I let the circumstances of the situation blind me to the very One willing to fight it... and win.

My devotion is a good reminder to me today. My eyes HAVE to stay on the unseen... they have to remain focused on the spiritual and overlook the temporal. My eyes HAVE GOT to stay on the One who will walk me through fire without being burned or even scorched. Not only in parenting... but every single aspect of my life. I have GOT to die to me every day and let HIM live through me. I have GOT to remember I can do NOTHING without Him. I have to stay in communion with Him at all times. I have to keep HIM in focus. Everything will then become a blur!

2012-01-29T12:54:00.000-08:00

The voice of hope

I have been home since Monday night. But so much of my heart is still wandering the country side of Latvia... lingering in hallways where children walk and wait. My heart. Christ's heart. Some people say, "It takes a special heart to do what you do," and my response inside is, "No, no it doesn't, it's Christ's heart, it's available to every believer, it's available to you." You see, my heart wanted to crumble about 10 different times... right there... in a heap on the floor... story after story... face after face... life after life. My heart wanted to say it's just too much, there are just too many, why... why try... what can we really do? My heart wanted to stay in bed and cry for a couple of days and just mourn how expendable children have become and how blind so many can be to the fact that they are there... children... waiting and wanting to be loved... to be wanted. I do not have a special heart. But what I do have is a desire to be obedient and to live my life for the LORD and His kingdom and not for my own comforts and desires. His heart lives through my heart. I'll give you that.

The stories roll around in my mind when I lie in bed at night, when I walk the isle of the grocery store, when I am making meals for my family and standing in my closet. One precious girl who lives on a farm with her foster dad... she has been there since she was small. She is now 13... 14. Her foster mom was killed last year in an accident on the farm. She doesn't have many girl friends, they say she is ugly. She is beautiful. A little shy. Freckled. Heart shining through her eyes. A smile that giggles. She needs a mom. Oh... she needs a mom.

Then there is this boy... young man... 14. He had a half brother who was adopted out to France but he wanted to stay because he had family... his grandfather came to visit him at the orphanage. His grandfather has since remarried and the new wife wants nothing to do with him. So the grandfather has stopped coming... walked away... rejected him. And now he thinks he wants a family. And he needs one. Oh how he needs a family.

Then there is a group of three. They were in a foster family that treated them like slaves. That's all I will say about that. They were rescued. Praise the LORD above. He opened the eyes of a director at a conference who saw something wasn't right. The situation was investigated and the children removed. They are with a grandmother to recover and then will soon be on their way to the orphanage. Oh they need a family. They need to know the ONE who rescued them and has plans for them... plans for a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11~

That is a sliver. A small grain of sand on a beach of endless seas. Five of 160 million.

But it is five I have been given to be a voice for... a voice for hope. The LORD'S voice and he says to take care of orphans. Not too many ways to get around it. Not really.

I have decided to give even more to Project One Forty Three and am now a coordinator for the families in the south. It is a privilege to share their stories and to watch God unfold the paths of hope in their lives. I have been working on the photolisting this week and am hoping to have it complete by the end of next week. I will share some photos this week as well.

You can find out more information at http://www.projectonefortythree.org/
You can also start praying... every child needs your prayers.

2012-01-12T13:39:00.000-08:00

Prayer Request

I am leaving in less than an hour for the airport. My mom had asked me to write some prayer requests for her and I emailed them to her and wanted to share them here as well so that my sweet prayer warrior friends could have some really specific prayer requests. I do not take prayer for granted for one moment and thank you so very much for going before the LORD with these requests! Hopefully, I will be blogging from there within a few days!

*comfort for the kids leaving their host families tonight

*peace to overtake them on the plane and rest
*comfort and peace for the families driving back home without them
*for God to move hearts of the ones He has in His will to adopt
*rest on the pane tonight for us ALL--- pray this like a thousand times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* for others whom we encounter to be touched by the needs of orphans all over the world
*safe travels and good health for all the kids and team
*on time flights

*protection in Latvia
*God encounters and the eyes to see them and the obedience to walk in them
*emotional and physical strength
*time to be alone with the LORD
*opportunities to share the gospel
*relationships to be built with orphanage directors
*hearts of children to be protected
*for darkness to be brought into light
*for love and hope to be left when we leave each place
*for every child we encounter to feel the love of Christ
*Holy Spirit guidance in the words we speak and questions we ask
*ears to hear and eyes to see what the LORD wants us to hear and see
*faith to be deepened
*rest
*safe journey home

*for Don to be renewed each day with patience, strength, and wisdom
*for the kids to feel my love when I am gone
*safety for them all
*good health for them all
*laughter to abound
*relationships with the kids and Don deepened
*cancel all assignments of the enemy on this family in the name of Jesus! (like a thousand times over)

Thank you my sweet, sweet friends!

2012-01-10T13:20:00.000-08:00

Tip, Trip, and Fit

I am a hair nightmare. It's the truth. And this is not the confession! HA You have to wait till the end for that one! Anyway, I have almost never liked my hair. There are a few days, somewhere in time, where I liked my hair. No need to go back and try to find them to tally them up!

So today, I was drying my hair, I thought of some tips that I wanted to share! HA again. Tips from someone who never likes her hair! But anyway... here it goes and maybe it will connect with someone out there somewhere!

Alternate product! Hair has brains. If you didn't know that you can close your mouth now! But it knows how to get around hair products! SOOOOO, that is why your hair will do better if you use mousse one day and gel the next and then mousse again and then gel and then... yeah... you got it! See, hair my have brains but ours is BIGGER! So we can outsmart it!

And if you are really feeling festive, you can alternate your shampoo/conditioner by the week. Yeah. It double tricks it! Crazy I know... write this stuff down! LOL (what is in my water I am drinking!?)

And you can trick it AGAIN by using different brushes when you dry it. Really. I mean it. TRUST ME. Hating your hair almost your entire life will actually teach you some things in the end! I have four different round brushes. One huge round one made of boar's hair, one medium round one made with boar's hair, one medium round ceramic and one medium round ionic! Yep. One day one works great and then the next it is limp biscuit and won't do anything! So I found pulling a switch on the brush TRICKS it AGAIN and I get better results. There will be a pop quiz at the end of this post! :0) (just kidding... relax)

Lastly, a vitamin tip about hair. My hair was falling out in mass quanity for two years. Like crazy falling out. Huge wad of hair when I washed it, again when I brushed it, again when I gelled it, and again when I dried it. I still don't know how I have had any left. My doctor said "stress". My OBGYN said "stress". And they both said, "Stopped being stressed." HAHAHAHAHA LOLOLOLOLOLOL

OK... back to reality. We were visiting a nutritionist for Abby and so I just threw it out there one day and he said, "Biotin. Take Biotin." And I did. And not only did it stop falling out... new hair started growing in! Seriously. I have tons of new hair growth that now looks like broken off hair because it is fuzzy and short all in there but hey... new hair and it is NOT FALLING OUT anymore! (And this is NOT a paid advertisement) :0)

So... now that hair stuff is out of my system... I can move on to the trip. I am leaving on Thursday, the 12th, for Latvia. I will be gone 12 days. I love Latvia. I am really looking forward to being back there. I am going to photograph and interview orphans for Project One Forty Three's summer hosting program. Wow.

It is going to be a big trip with BIG emotions and our BIG GOD will be with me each step of the way. I was really feeling a good amount of dread. And then at worship Saturday night, precious believers covered me in such wonderful prayer and spoke such powerful and beautiful words over me... and the dread just lifted and I have felt excitement for the first time. I feel ready.

I hope to blog from there when I can. I appreciate all your prayers so so very much. I am praying that God will use me how and when He wants to and that I will see it and obey His promptings. I am also praying that I can just overflow the Father's love onto them and that it will stay with them even after I am gone! Safety and health are always good ones to throw into the requests as well!

I am going with two other women. One from Chicago, who I already know and have a heart connection with, and another from North Carolina whom I look forward to meeting and hanging with very much. I can already tell there will be plenty of laughter mixed in to help us get through some dark emotional times.

And since I am leaving and may not be back in touch for just a bit, this is a bit lengthy today. I have decided to share a fit with you. Every now and then I hear something like, "Yeah, you have it all together," or "I was reading your blog and you just have it all together," and I just cringe. I do not have it together, at all. Anything that looks like having it together is just Christ in me that you happen to see!

So here is a glimpse of me. We need a bigger house. I don't want to need a bigger house. I love our home. LOVE IT! LOVE IT! And I really like our neighborhood, the location, and many of our neighbors. And I don't like thinking that I "need" a bigger house when 20 people in some parts of the world share one room and one toilet! (if they have one at all)

But we host orphans. We host chaperones. We have lots of out of town company/guests. We have three children. And we may have more. (up to God) So we are looking for a house with a basement. Yesterday, I found one that I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED, LOVED and it is in foreclosure and is already a great price for what it is and of course can be gotten for a medium amount less. I looked at it three times yesterday. It's empty and when Abby and I went to look in the windows (since the realtor wouldn't call back) Abby totally just opened the door! It was unlocked! I KNEW it was a gift. I LOVED IT! Did I mention that yet?

It had just had brand new carpet put in and had been entirely repainted inside with a neutral color. It was not my favorite color... but it would have been better than fine and would have matched my everything just fine! I saw my sofas in there. I saw the kids sitting at the counter in there. I saw us enjoying the screen porch... the side porch... the deck. I saw my furniture in the amazing master. I saw the kids hanging with friends in the amazing bonus room. And I saw friends, family, orphans, and chaperones in the basement!

Needless to say, I wanted it and wanted it bad. Did I ask the LORD if it was the house for us? No.

I wanted it. And I wanted it bad.

The realtor called my husband and told him someone had made an offer and they were going back and forth. That's it. I was devistated. DEEPLY wounded. Ridiculously peeved. And I had a fit. I had a fight with my husband. I pouted. I puffed. I wondered WHYWHYWHYWHY did I have to see it of it was not going to be an option. And I just had a royal fit.

Hours later... after I mourned and pouted and puffed some more... conviction quietly walked in and slapped me in the face. Yep. And there was my sin.. smeared like bad mascara all over my pouty puffed up peeved little face.

Yes LORD. I know. I never even asked you. I jumped in without looking left, right, OR UP! And then when the door was shut (graciously in a quick manner)... I stomped my foot, spewed, slammed the door, spit on the ground and threw every angry emotion I could at the situation. Yep. That is what "I" did. That was me.

And I was so so sorry. And I repented. And I verbalized my trust in Him again and asked for grace. And He gave it to me.

I-Do-Not-Have-It-TOGETHER!

I am a real person who stinks sometimes and then God comes in and showers me with His presence.

That was my confession. He will shower you too... just let Him!

Today's gifts so far...

gorgeous plum, violet sunrise this morning with rising of the fog

time with a dear friend before she left for a year

smiles at pre-school

time with counsel

bumping into dear friend in store

hugs, hugs, and more hugs from friend

kind words of encouragement from 2 friends

laughter

gentle blanket of rain

Don home

successful shopping for gifts for Latvia

items on sale I have been watching for almost 2 months

$20 voucher to use with sale items

getting fun and colorful gifts for the girls

grace, God's sweet amazing limitless grace

grace from my husband who loves me even when I pitch a fit

much, much, much love...

2012-01-06T07:43:00.000-08:00

To receive in the moment

"The quiet song of gratitude, eucharisteo, lures humility out of the shadows because to receive a gift the knees must bend humble and the hand must lie vulnerably open and the will must bow to accept whatever the Giver chooses to give." Ann Voskamp, ~ One Thousand Gifts ~

30. bag of soup
31. Don's help with the kids this morning
32. Abby's pleasant mood this morning
33. hot shower on cold morning
34. a good hat to hide a bad hair day
35. friends making cards for orphans
36. clarity to keep priorities
37. sound of hair dryer as Abby dries her hair by herself
38. smiles from Pat (former mom 2 mom leader)
39. a filling dinner of fresh veggies
40. words of wisdom and love from my husband
41. clean floor swept by my daughter
42. Marc's joy from first day at new pre-school
43. smiles and sweet conversation from friend in the carpool line
44. driving with the windows cracked
45. warmth of sunshine on my face through car window
46. closure on interesting old house

This is my list from yesterday. I get so excited to start my list each day. But I am already seeing that I am missing something. Just five days into it, I am seeing that I am missing some of the gifts in the moment and only remembering them at the end of the day. I am not totally living in the moment. I want to be in the moment!

Now I am pretty excited that I am recognizing so many gifts from the Father each day but I like it more when I catch it in the moment and hold it close... pausing and accepting with thankfulness. Like when I came downstairs yesterday and saw that Taylor had swept the kitchen floor the night before. It is one of her chores and I thought she had not had time to do it since she had so much homework. So when I walked into the kitchen at 6:30 a.m. and saw clean floors... it blessed me. I smiled and thanked her when I saw her... yet... I didn't hold it close as a gift from the Father that He held and handed me first thing... to start my day. I thanked her. And yet He was there... the true giver... and I didn't lift my eyes to thank Him.

And I feel I must explain #30. bag of soup! Yesterday, I was kinda filling in for the leader of my Mom 2 Mom group. She was on a trip and asked me to "lead". Well, there was no leading! LOL She also suggested we make cards for the orphans in Latvia I will be going to visit next week. So I was only bringing a craft for our group to do! So the night before, one of my former leaders calls me and tells me the leaders are supposed to bring a crock pot of soup or chili for their group the next day! I got the message at 5 p.m. Awwwww! Then she gave me the best little news. There is a little known secret that you can go to Atlanta Bread Company (local restaurant) and purchase a "bag" of the soup they serve! It comes frozen and all you have to do it thaw it out and put it in the crock pot! It fills the crock pot! Don was already out and so he stopped by and purchased a bag of soup! I was thrilled and so excited to be in on the secret! It was a gift!

There have been so many gifts. There always has been. I have acknowledged them before but I want to lie in them now! I want to be saturated by their presence... just by seeing what was already there! One of my sweetest gifts yet came the other day when I let something fly! You can read about it here on another blog I contribute to with some other amazing pretty amazing women who love the LORD and LOVE to talk about it! I have only met one of these other women but I think we must organize a girl's weekend soon! They are such sweet sisters in Christ!

I urge you to have opened eyes today and take all the LORD has planned for you with joy and thankfulness. It is really overwhelming how much He loves us and how much He showers us with His presence!

Be blessed... much much love...

2012-01-03T13:40:00.000-08:00

At the beginning

I am so blown away by the gift of another year. At the same time, they seem to pass by me faster each time!

There is so much promise at the beginning of something. And there is so much between the beginning and the end. Oh... to slow down and really inhale every opportunity we are given. To see them, embrace them, and inhale them!

I started my counting of gifts on the 1st of this year. Just looking for them and recording them made me linger in the warmth of the sunshine flowing through kitchen window a little longer, caused me to giggle while cuddling with my fluffy bundle of Dusty, and take extra delight in a house overflowing with friends to start the new year! Seeing each of them as a direct gift from my Father left me feeling so touched by Him and I am just on day three!

Why can we overlook so much that He gives us? Why can we ignore and turn away from so many ways He romances us? Why can we take so many wonderful and abundant gifts for granted?

Because the enemy strives daily to steal our attention... to steal our time... our focus... our joy... our vision... and our hearts.

My eyes are focused on my Father and I will remain looking for Him everywhere... everyday.

I challenge you to look for Him too.

Can't wait to share this year with you!

Much love,

2011-12-26T19:29:00.000-08:00

December is a time to prepare...

Every December, I can't believe it's December. Yesterday seems like June to me and with each year, it seems to go by faster and faster. Last year, God really put it on my heart that winter is for resting. And last year, I was able to do that pretty well. This year, I do believe winter is still for rest but I am finding it harder to get myself there. It seems like this year, getting prepared is what rings in my heart and in my ears.

As I think about getting prepared for the year to come, I am so overwhelmed at looking back on the one I am stepping past. So many blessings. So many opportunities. So many gifts. So many moments. So many challenges. So many truths. And I am about to step into another year, quietly waiting... full of promise, growth, trials, opportunities, moments, lives, relationships, joys, tears, chances.

I want to embrace it. And I want to be prepared. I want to receive every opportunity, chance, and moment that God gives me with open hands. And I want to be thankful in it. I want to see Christ in it. I want to get closer to Him in it. I want to serve Him in it. And I want to joyful and content it.

I have been deeply touched by Ann Voskamp and her book, "One Thousand Gifts." Her blog has been speaking to me for most of the year, but her book is calling me and challenging me to take the dare. And I accept it with open hands.

My blog has gone from just updates on the kids to decorating to newsletter to journal. It is one of my favorite outlets to use to give glory to my Father and Savior. How can I not share what He has done and continues to do in my life? I have told Him again and again that I would shout it from the rooftops... His greatness... how personal He is... how mighty and active and real and alive and audacious! And this has become my rooftop.

So on January 1st, my blog will include my journey to One Thousand Gifts. And I pray that just as Ann has inspired by sharing her journey, someone will be encouraged by mine.

Tomorrow, we pick up a host child that we will host for the next two and a half weeks. We receive this with open hands and can't wait to see what God has in store for her and for us! And when this little one flies back to Latvia on January 12th, I will fly back with her and the other children. I will be going to the orphanages to meet with directors and build relationships. I will love on children and tell them about Jesus and His love for them. I will interview them and photograph them so they can be listed on the summer host program of 2012. And I will receive this with open hands... taking every moment and opportunity He gives me and embracing it for His glory.

Yes, December is a time to prepare... for beautiful moments ahead.

2011-12-20T13:20:00.000-08:00

December is a time for crafting...

I saw this on Pinterest.

And we did this...

I used scrap fabric I had and we made the cutest little craft ever!!!

We cut our strips and then tied two between each light. The girls were giddy! And I have to admit... SO WAS I! It turned out better than I could have imagined.

T put hers on her window! We think it will stay up for a LONG time! It goes with the colors in her room perfectly and she LOVES the color and light!

It really is crazy how adorable it is!

A has two windows instead of one and so we ran hers across her shelf... several times! It's a tad bit messier than I would prefer (a shorter strand would have been better here) but she totally loves hers too!

And A's is pretty special to me because I used a pair of her bloomers from when she was little (the yellow and white check) that I had in the scrap fabric box! She also has some vintage pillow case fabric from a dear friend (Shell), purple fabric from another dear friend (Erin) and some other cool "stories" in her strand!

And since this is our second year to not "do Christmas," it was the perfect way to use the lights as I remind/teach them we are to be the light in this dark world everyday of the year!

And you can't have a fun craft day without the baked cookies!

And these yummy, amazing, crazy, can't get enough ever pretzles... well... they were for ME! But I did share them!

2011-12-14T20:33:00.000-08:00

December is for hosting...

children. Children who don't have a family.

Last night was holy ground in an airport. Families gathered... pacing... laughing nervously... staring at their watches... holding tight to balloons... and waiting. Some waited to be reunited with children they have hosted before. Some waited to embrace the children they are already in the process of adopting. And others waited to see and embrace their host child for the first time. And even others met their future children for the first time.

And it was beautiful.

A Grandfather crying precious tears was beautiful.

Children smiling huge smiles that said so much were beautiful.

Host family children who embraced the new ones were beautiful.

Mothers crying tears that only a mother can understand were beautiful.

Fathers trying to keep it all together and sometimes failing were beautiful.

First embraces were beautiful.

Hands held together walking away were beautiful.

God was beautiful.

And He was there... hovering... whispering... comforting... filling... healing... guiding... supplying... overflowing... and breathing.

And it was oh so very precious and beautiful.

*I hope to get some permission from some soon and will share some pictures of this beautiful night.

2011-12-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

December is a time for new mercies

"The LORD is good to all, And His tender mercies are over all His works." Psalm 145:9~

"But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;

I will trust in the mercy of God forever and ever." Psalm 52:8~

"Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed.

Truth shall spring out of the earth, And righteousness shall look down from heaven."

Psalm 85:10,11~

As tears stream down my face, I type the words, "I can't do this anymore." My heart still pounds with emotion and the words are screaming from all corners of my mind. The words are to my husband. The words are about the almost daily battles/struggles with one of my daughters. One who holds so much of my heart. One who demands so much and leaves me often empty. One who rejects me often. One who clings to me in frail moments. One who can fill me with purest joy with just a smile. One who can bring up the vilest of who I can be.

This night has been hard. My voice has been raised as my heart screamed in response, defense and exhaustion. Sadness. Exasperation. Frustration. Anger. As my fingers cry upon the keyboard, crying out to my husband miles away, her door opens and footsteps descend the stairs, approaching in quiet haste.

How does she know I sit here broken? A broken pile of failure and sadness. A broken pile of a girl who tries to be a mom. A broken pile of a girl who thinks she can not do it anymore. A broken pile of a girl who thinks she doesn't even want to try anymore.

She approaches and she is bearing gifts. A small pink bowl with "food" and her favorite hand sanitizer.

She sets them down beside me. Puts her hand on mine. "I'm sorry."

Response is hard. I have no idea how to respond. Failing again. I am empty. Her previous words are ringing in my head. Her defiance flashes before me and "Thank you," is all that comes up from within.

She goes to the kitchen and comes back with more offerings... a cold cup of water and a paper towel. And she wipes my tears. "Thank you," again is all I can offer in return. I missed a moment. I missed a moment of tender heart due to my own emptiness. And I told her she should return to bed. And she did. I was still raw.

As I put on pajamas and brushed my teeth, my thoughts cried out to the LORD. Numbness still hung on me like a heavy blanket that I couldn't shake. And then the LORD did what He does best... He opened my eyes.

Words from one of my favorite people came back to me.

“Joy is always a function of gratitude — and gratitude is always a function of perspective.

If we are going to change our lives,

what we’re going to have to change

is the way we see.” Ann Voskamp~

Simple prayer offered. Change what I see LORD. PLEASE. All I can see if defiance, stubbornness, ingratitude, greed, selfishness, spewing of words, lashing out, ugliness. Change what I see.

And He did.

Ann's words echo in my mind again. Somewhere, in past posts or her book, she encouraged to keep seeking God in places you don't see Him because He is there.

LORD, where are you here? Where are you in this?

Eyes opened, heart opened, and sin exposed. There He was, in this, and there I stood, before Him, in rebellion, in defiance, in stubbornness, with ingratitude, greed, selfishness, spewing my words, lashing out, ugly. Broken again. There was the light. And I, before the LORD, was just like Abby. And yet... there He was. Mercy. Grace. Christ. Forgiveness. Love. Unfailing. Over. And over. And over. Everything I should be. Everything I am not.

Had I not just earlier sat in the car and spewed words of anger after being "wronged" by another? Had I not ~~asked~~ demanded my husband to call her and let her have it? Had I not been so vile over a house? Over time? Greed. Ingratitude. Selfishness. Control. Yes. Yes I had. That was me. That was my ugly. My sin.

"For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting,

And His truth endures to all generations." Psalm 100:5~

"For your mercy is great above the heavens, and Your truth reaches to the clouds." Psalm 108:4~

"The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The LORD is good to all, And His tender mercies are over all His works." Psalm 145:8,9~

"Freely you have received. Freely give." Matthew 10:8b

Through Christ, the LORD sees me righteous. Through Christ, I am a holy child of God. Through Christ, I am forgiven. Through Christ, I am new. Through Christ, I am no longer a slave to sin. I am so humbled. Thanksgiving should be forever present on my lips.

Those are the eyes I need to see with. Spiritual eyes. Christ's eyes. Not mine.

I must give mercy just as I receive it. Daily. AGAIN AND AGAIN. I must see it's presence in everything.

I can do it again. I can try to love her, guide her, parent her, shepherd her, accept her again and again. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Because His mercies are new each and every day. And so will be mine.

2011-12-05T13:07:00.000-08:00

December is for reflecting

I have mentioned that I am not sure if I will continue to blog. There are several reasons behind the pondering. One is that time becomes more and more precious with each passing hour! Blogging used to be another creative outlet for me. I enjoyed making banners and changing backgrounds and posting pictures... and writing. But now I find it hard to get here a lot of the time. I look on the right side and see my number of postings for the year and they are kinda pitiful! HA I also find it harder to take pictures like I used to... time... lack of!

I also have to be honest and find myself pondering the lack of comments a lot of time. I mean, how can you read a post about hundreds of facebook people raising money... massive money... in 48 hours to bring home a child and say nothing. It leaves me thinking several things... no one reads it, no one cares, everyone is tired of reading about orphans needing/finding homes, or no one knows how to leave a comment. And honestly, I HATE caring about whether or not anyone leaves a comment. But I do. This blog has become an interactive blog and so crickets not even chirping sometimes makes me think I shouldn't even bother.

So then I thought about just enabling comments and not worrying about it anymore but then I am back to why bother? I could use this time to write in journals and scrapbook and not worry about it anymore.

But then I LOVE to go back to 2006 and see how far Abby has come... how far the blog has come... how far our faith has come... how far God has brought us and all He has shown us and how He has grown us and it makes me want to continue.

So that is what I am pondering. The honest version! Because you know me... I love to be honest!
So I will continue praying about it and pondering and see what happens by the end of the month.
But in the meantime... if you are reading... and you do care... thanks!

2011-12-04T16:24:00.000-08:00

December is for friends... who come and celebrate someone special with you... who share their hearts, their love, their time, their encouragement, their laughter, their support, their words, their lives... such beautiful blessings from the Lord. We love you all and are deeply thankful for each one of you. We are blessed to share life with you! THANK YOU for making Don's birthday a special night and memory. xoxoxoxoxoxo

Dawn

2011-12-03T17:27:00.000-08:00

December is for love...

to feel love, to give love, lay in love, smile in love, reflect on love, protect love, rejoice in love, celebrate love, glow in love, grow in love, laugh in love, move in love, rest in love, receive love, practice love, Love Love.

2011-12-02T11:16:00.000-08:00

December is a time to celebrate...

Tomorrow is my love's birthday.

He likes chocolate.

He will get chocolate.

:0)

I am have something planned for him.

It makes me smile.

He makes me smile.

He is amazing.

He continues to amaze me.

I am so blessed to be his love.

We are so blessed to have each other.

I am so thankful.

December is a time to celebrate.

I like December. ~

2011-12-01T13:41:00.000-08:00

December

December arrives rather quickly and rest is on her wings.

She takes what has always been and transforms it before our eyes.

She delights our senses with sudden bursts of joy in the least expected places!

And she leaves us wanting more... and we inhale her beauty and tuck it deep inside.

I love December.

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.

Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world." Psalm 19:1-4~

2011-11-27T18:58:00.000-08:00

JUST A GLIMPSE OF HIS GLORY!!!!!

It doesn't get much better than this... the Kingdom of God in action! PRAISE HIM!!!! I stand with lifted hands and PRAISE HIM in the highest voice I have available!!!!

With Faith Alone...Our Journey to Uganda: A Miracle for Esther: If you have been following our journey then you already know that my Esther is not doing well...but for those that are not up to date...we w...

P.S. I plan to post about future blogging soon.

2011-11-17T15:52:00.000-08:00

Done...?

I may be done. With blogging. I am considering December being my last month to blog. It's hard when I look at what has happened since 2006 since I started this thing. Just seeing pictures of Abby then can just make me cry. But I have some mixed emotions. I don't know. But I am considering.

I'll have the week off next week as we travel and enjoy family and friends. I wish you all the most wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving holiday. May it be the start to Thanksliving forever!!!

Much love...

2011-11-16T12:24:00.000-08:00

Never, ever stop asking...

We can have such little patience with our God who bathes us in His grace and abundant patience each and every moment of our life. What would our life look like if God had patience with us at the same level as we have with Him? Wow. What about the patience we offer to others? Wow. Hopefully that causes you to stop and take a little inventory of yourself as it does with me. Patience has never been one of my greatest fruits. Are there things in our spiritual lives we have stopped seeking because they didn't arrive on our time table? Are there prayers we have stopped praying because we didn't get the answer we wanted when we wanted it? Are there people we have given up on because they have not become who we wanted them to become when we wanted them to? Have we stopped seeking because we actually may think we have it all or because more is not that important? Or because we didn't find what we were looking for fast enough?

This scripture in Matthew seems pretty clear... almost too clear. And yet, we can run right past it... or even say it doesn't mean what it really says. But it says, "seek and you will find"... not seek and you might find... not seek for as long as you want and you might find... but seek and you will find... knock and the door will be opened to you. The trick is believing and faith and endurance. Knock. How many times? Until the door is opened. Because the LORD says it will be opened. Believe that and KEEP knocking until it is opened... because it will open!! And how long do we seek... until we find because if we believe we will find... we will seek until we do!

Lies and distractions keep us from the promises of the LORD. I am so very thankful for His promises and His word that breathe life into me and give me the strength I need to walk this journey. I am so very thankful for the Holy Spirit who opens our eyes and ears and unveils God's word to penetrate deep down and TRANSFORM us. Transformation is one of the most beautiful parts of being a Christian... and the most painful. Dying to ourselves each and every day and looking exposed sin in the face and rebuking it, repenting of it, and leaving it, fresh and radiant is His light and grace, is one of the most beautiful privileges of being His child.

Whatever you are seeking in the LORD... KEEP SEEKING... UNTIL you FIND!

And whatever door you are knocking on before the LORD... KEEP KNOCKING UNTIL is OPENS...

Because His word is TRUTH!

BELIEVE.

2011-11-14T08:23:00.000-08:00

Fall is well underway! Leaves are falling in rapid fashion and many trees are already bare... standing and soaking up the sun... getting ready for their winter rest.

The colors of fall just make me happy inside. Such vibrant colors have commanded my attention on numerous occasions this fall. Sadly... I busticated my camera coming back from FL and now it's off in a Nikon factory somewhere... all alone. And I am missing great opportunity for pictures. Boo Whooo. :0(

But I did manage to snap these at a Punko Patch with Abby's class on her fall trip a couple weeks ago.

I think she and I both could have just stayed in that tiny little petting zoo all day with the sheep and the bunnies. The poor sheep did not seem to be all that happy about all the little paws pawing them.

This was the friendliest one there and she just sat there the whole time... poor dear. The others all huddled up under the bunny cages and acted like there was a pack of wolves in house! I felt so bad for them.

Here is Abby's teacher! Isn't she just the cutest thing ever! I simply adore her and her love for the Lord and for her class! She is amazing and such an answer to prayer. Hugs to you little Miss Thing! :0)

I am overflowing with thankfulness today. I am so excited to be in VA next week for my favorite holiday... Thanksgiving. The entire thought of it leaves me all warm and fuzzy inside! I am already planning for the car activites! And we are stopping in Fredericksburg on the way to see some great friends from our past and share dinner and breakfast with them! What a bonus!

I will have to take my little tiny snap and shoot camera. :0( But some pictures will be better than no pictures. And when I am there... I may sneak some shots with my mom's mac daddy try to make me jealous and sin camera! She just got it a couple months ago and I may need to try it out! :0)

10 Thankfuls for Today!

1. Thankful that Abby has gone two mornings without a seizure! Praise the LORD!

2. Thankful for the ability to spend my favorite holiday with family I love so so much!

3. Thankful for AMAZING and POWERFUL prayer, healing, and encouragement Saturday night at our night of fellowship!!!!

4. Thankful that the LORD doesn't leave us alone... He calls us closer and closer and reveals the things that keep us from Him, sin, so we can repent and be free of them!

5. Thankful for amazing friends who are coming tonight to pray over our home!

6. Thankful for a full pantry and fridge. Thank you Father!

7. Thankful for my husband's job, the flexibility is gives our family, the health insurance it provides, the travel benefits, and the income!

8. Thankful for sweet friends who are real and true and loyal and constant.

9. Thankful for a warm home with yummy new paint and the fabulous shutters my man is building for us!

10. God's active, alive, audacious power and His mercy, love, grace and constant Presence!

Happy Month of Thanksgiving!!!!

2011-11-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

Some house fun...

Here is what our house used to look like...

And here she is now! Wooo Whooo!

Don is still making the shutters... they will finish it off but for now... we are loving her makeover!

She seriously needs a landscaping face lift... maybe in the Spring.

And I have been having some fun inside too...

I was inspired by this...

this...

and this!

And so I went from this...

Horrible mess...

(so sorry it is blurry. The flash was killing the shot and the closet was dark enough for the shutter to be open long enough for any movement to ruin it! :0( )

to this...

and from this...

to this!

Every time I walk in the closet now, my insides smile! No more YUCK feeling when I walk in! It's is AMAZING what organizing a space can do for your insides! :0)

This was the best purchase I have made in a while. I pulled down the hanging shoe bags as they took up way too much room on the small rack that can hold my dresses. They also took up space from the rack next to it. SO I bought this six hole cubby shelf thingie at Home Depot! I put my sweaters in there and bought the little cubbies for my shoes! Summer sandals and strappies went up in a brown storage box on a high shelf... then flip flops are on one cubby and casual shoes and flats in the other two. They are OFF THE FLOOR! And they are organized! Now I can see them better too and change up what I am wearing and not get stuck in a rut! :0)

I also moved my bags to the bottom shelf so I could reach them better and organized my belts and scarves. It's the small things! :0)

I can see everything so much better now! It's already helped me be more creative with my outfits too! You know how important that is!

Here is a glimpse of the MESS!

And now here it is. There is still some MESS that I have to put away... somewhere...

:0)

But my closet is 1000 times better!!!!

2011-11-09T07:33:00.000-08:00

Smiles in the storm...

It's a picture like this that helps get me through a trying time.

Here we are, in the middle of a struggle with Abbers... and yet, we can still have a beautiful day like this.

We were so blessed to go to the GA game this past Saturday and share it with some wonderful friends!

Our friends in this picture, Ann and Greg, are two of the most generous and amazing hearts I know! Just seeing Ann's smile (and her mother's) makes me light up from the inside! :0) And her husband is one of my mission heroes! He has an amazing heart and he has spunk! And of course, I love spunk when it is spunking for the kingdom! :0)

The weather was amazing and we were GIVEN three tickets by a stranger that we then were so blessed to give to one other couple (who had never been to a game) and to another guy who needed one! It is so fun to GIVE!!!!!

Then we found amazing tickets for less than face value. It was a blowout game but it was still fun to be there! I felt so badly for the other team and so I cheered for them a little and was so glad when they scored again! :0)

Abby was bored to frowns! :0( I should have packed her some activities... lesson learned. But Taylor got into it!

The day after this picture was taken, Abby had another hard and long seizure. My heart sank and cried. It is so very hard to watch her face squinch up, to see her drool, and to see her jerk and choke. I ride such a roller coaster of emotions as I watch her in those moments. Anger (at the enemy). Frustration (at the situation). Sadness (for her little body and mind). Anxiety (at the thought we are just missing something). Desperation (for the healing of Christ). Determination (to not give up). Exhaustion (that we are here again). Sorrow (that I can't seem to help her). Hope (that God will heal her).

And then I saw this picture again. And saw her smile. And I feel, deep down, she will be just fine, despite these horrible attacks.

"Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call the LORD will answer; you will cry for help and He will say: Here am I." Isaiah 58:8,9~

"But now, this is what the LORD says- He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel:

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43:1-3~

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us- to Him be the glory in the church and in Jesus Christ throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20, 21~

2011-11-03T14:07:00.000-07:00

Fall is a time to fight... and a time for faith.

My precious Abby is fighting again. And so am I.

Like the arrival of fall brings falling leaves, it also seems to bring with her an increase in seizures for my little brave fighter. Each October the trend begins. Each summer, as she does so well, I think this year may be different. We pray. We praise. We pray. We fast. We pray. We praise.

We are praying for a decrease in Abby's seizures. We are praying for healing. We are praying for mercy. We are praying for power. We are praying for grace. We are praying for faith.

I was reading in my devotional the other night and the words hit me in the face. It said, "Faith is not believing that God can heal. Faith is believing God wants to and will." I pondered that over and over. I have said many times that I believe God can heal her but didn't know if He wanted to. Not that He is simply overlooking her, or choosing for her to suffer, but that He might have some other plan for her... for this... for us.

It is a hard time but as always... it pushes us closer to the Father's feet and makes us search harder and deeper for His face.

Your prayers are such a gift. We never take one for granted.

As always, I love to ask for specific prayers. So here is my list if you want to take a moment and pray through it! Add any other fabulous requests you can give Him of course!!

1. For complete and total healing.

2. Protection over Abby from falls, over her body, her heart, her mind, and her abilities.

3. For her body to get what it needs nutritionally to provide for her.

4. Faith to be increased in much measure for Don and me.

5. For God to give us wisdom and strength and energy and peace.

6. For us to see God in this.

7. Silence the lies of the enemy that come hand in hand with these attacks.

8. For God to be glorified in this trial.

9. Praise the Lord for what He has already done for Abby... for how He has healed her!

10. Praise Him for what He is going to do in her life!

Thank you. So so so much... thank you.

2011-10-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

Oh Pinterest...

There is a little website I like to go to when I need a brain break. I don't watch tv except for the occassional show on Netflix and so sometimes when I am fried from the parenting/cleaning/laundry routine of life... I click over to this little website called "Pinterest" and escape. Not only do I find beautiful things to look at... I often find inspiration!

So I have decided to share some of my Pinterest finds here from time to time because they are just too good to keep to myself! :0)

Tonight's little jaunt brought me these little ideas...

Look at these totally adorable bookmarkers! Get some free paint chips and get to work! Instead of the metal gramits (sp?), you could also use the white sticker circle thingies you put on the holes of your notebook paper... may be easier and cheaper! This will be a great winter project with the chillies and I have tons of rubber stamps! This would be fun to make at a birthday party too!

Then there is this adorable gift idea! How fun to give to new neighbors! You could also do one with magnets to local pizza places, local "to go" menus, and other items. For a teacher, it could have an apple, pencils, dry erase markers, sticky notes, and tape in it! Or a smores kit for a friend! Or make-up for a teen birthday gift! Or full of hot wheels for a little boy! The ideas are endless and these jars are at Wal-Mart for about $5 or World Market for $3.50! Totally using this idea forever!

And then there are these wonderful little outfit boards! They are some of my favorite things to find! I can get in a clothes rut and when I do, I run down and get an idea from Pinterest! I usually have something similar enough to pull off the look. I have a black fitted t-shirt, an off white scarf, gray sweater, jeans and red shoes! Don't laugh when you see me in this get up! LOL

Then there is the whole... "WISH THIS WERE MY HOUSE" section! Yeah. I can dream!

And last, but so not least, are the precious pictures of God's creatures that bring me joy the moment I see them! I mean, how can you be in a bad mood when you see this baby? LOVE HIM!

I do have to say/warn that Pinterest does have images on there that I WISH they would not have there... or at least have in another section. It is the one thing I HATE about the site. But when I am logged in, they are few as they are not the items I click on or pin. Other than that, it's my little esacpe from time to time!

http://www.pinterest.com/

2011-10-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

Soooooooo....

So... where have I been!? We were blessed to go to Florida for a great little get-away last week and enjoyed some amazing down time. And so I did a horrible job, again, at blogging last week. And I know you are all waiting with great anticipation for the next post on the Feast of Tabernacles and so here it goes!

"The feasts don't apply to us today." "The feasts are for the Jews." "Did you build your altar too?"

These are just a few responses I get/hear when the feasts are brought up and so before I go into more detail about the Feast of Tabernacles, I want to put some things out on the table. First of all, the feasts are not the Jews Feasts... they are the "Lord's Feasts." Scripture again and again refers to them as the "Lord's Feasts." The actual wording for "feasts" is "mo'ed" and means "an appointed time" so the Lord's "mo'ed" means the Lord's appointed time. These are days set aside BY GOD as important days with Israel. The Children of Israel were and are God's "chosen people." So many believers today quickly ignore anything having to do with Israel thinking it does not apply to them.

But we have missed a VERY important fact about WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST for many, many years (and it is by no accident). Romans 11:17 tells us that when we accepted Christ as our Savior, we were GRAFTED INTO ISRAEL. WE BECOME PART OF ISRAEL. WE BECOME GOD'S CHILDREN. And this scripture is referring to Gentile believers. What MOST Christians also have no idea about is that God scattered 10 tribes of Israel all over the world who then inter-married with Gentiles and took on Gentile traditions and beliefs. So MANY BELIEVERS are actual descendants from these scattered 10 tribes and have no idea. They assume they are Gentile because they are not Jewish. The Jews are ONE TRIBE of the TWELVE TRIBES of ISRAEL. THIS very fact and knowledge is part of what has changed my life. All of the sudden, I really began to care about what God had said to Israel and what He had promised them! Ephesians 2 also shows us that at one time we were "excluded from citizenship with Israel" but now we are "FELLOW CITIZENS" with them! Ephesians 2:12-22.

Now, Christ came and changed everything. We are no longer under the penalty of the law. The penalty of the law was death, separation from God. But now, through Christ, HE TOOK our sin and the penalty of our sins onto HIMSELF and satisfied God's HOLY need for justice. CHRIST fulfilled the law... but he did not destroy it. He Himself says this with His own mouth...

"Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the law until all is fulfilled. Whoever therefore breaks one of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:17-19~

And the key is "until ALL is fulfilled." Because "ALL" has not been fulfilled. And the Feast of Tabernacles has not been fulfilled yet. And in the book of Zechariah 14:16 (prophetic book of Old Testament) we are told that when Christ returns, we'll be joining Him in the Feast of Tabernacles during the Millennium!

We are called to obey God's commandments.

"So he said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments. Matthew 19:17~

Then He goes on in verse 18 to list of 6 of the 10 commandments. Then in Matthew 22, the Pharisees ask Jesus which is the great commandment of the law. He answers with this,

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and Prophets." Matthew 22: 37-40~

What was Jesus saying? He was quoting scripture. The only scripture they had was Torah, part of what we consider the Old Testament.

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:4,5~

"You shall not take vengeance , nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:18~

OK. I could go on and on here... and maybe I will go into all that further. But hopefully you can see that the Old Testament (named that by man) should not be thrown out with the bath water or used as a great story reference. It is FULL of wisdom, promises, commandments, prophesy, and JESUS! Yes. JESUS is ALL IN THE OLD TESTAMENT! Psalm 22 is about Jesus' death! Passover is about Christ being our Passover lamb! Jesus is in the book of Isaiah. The Lord appearing to Moses on Mt. Sinai. is the first Pentecost and a mirror of the Pentecost in Acts! It is ALL TIED TOGETHER.

So WHO MADE IT SO SEPARATE?

Constantine.

THAT is a whole other post and I WILL post about that soon!

So... on to Feast of Trumpets. God created the "appointed times" on the Biblical calendar. MANY of us have no idea about the Biblical calendar because it was replaced with the Roman calendar... again... a great crime against God's word out of Rome... go figure! Anyway... trying to stay focused! GOD'S calendar is where you find His appointed times to meet with His people. It is laid out in scripture, in the Old Testament. And we have already established that we are His people... whether a descendant of the scattered tribes, Jew, or Gentile who has been grafted in after accepting Christ. Don't you think it might be nice to know about God's calendar? Do you think there might be blessings in meeting with God on HIS appointed days? Of course there is! And that is part of the VERY reason Satan has used Rome to HIDE so much of our TRUE CHRISTIAN ROOTS! He comes to STEAL and DESTROY!

The Feast of Trumpets is the first in a string that have not been fulfilled yet! THAT got my attention even more! The Feast of Trumpets is also known as Rosh Hashanah. God gave one commandment for this feast, to listen to a blast of trumpets (the shofar). It is a wake up call. It is an attention getter. It sets the stage for the next appointed times... The Days of Awe, the Day of Atonement, and the Feast of Tabernacles. These are the fall feasts and are all linked together.

The ten days following the feast of trumpets are called the Days of Awe. It is a time to repent and return. I feel strongly we are in the "Days of Awe" right now as God is calling, gathering, and purifying His Bride. It is a time to cleanse oneself from idols, sin, and impurity to seek God with ALL your heart and prepare for the Holiest Day of the year, the Day of Atonement.

The Day of Atonement is the Holiest Day of the Year. Wow. Don't you want to know what day is the Holiest Day of the year!? I was mad when I learned all this. Mad that I had missed that day, over and over and over out of ignorance. I had missed a day that GOD set aside for me over and over! My heart was pricked. This year, that day was October 7. The biblical calendar is counted off according to the New Moon and that changes each year so these days are different each year! And biblical days start at sundown... so the Day of Atonement was from sundown on the 7th to sundown on the 8th. Biblical days start with evening instead of morning... it starts with rest... isn't that cool! I love that part. :0)

Jesus is our Atonement. On this day, I want to be on my face thanking Him for being my atonement... for taking my sin and taking the penalty for it... and for giving me His robe of righteousness in return. I am not going to sacrifice a goat, after Christ's final and perfect sacrifice, there is no need for further bloodshed. I don't want to celebrate this day because I feel I am bound by law to do so. I want to celebrate it because it is a HOLY DAY, THE HOLIEST DAY and I want to MEET WITH GOD on that day. It is because of my desire to be close to Him and MEET HIM that I want to set this day aside.

I am heartbroken to my core that this month, the month of these feasts, we scheduled ourselves to the MAX with "things". They were GOOD things! And they were things for others! But I did not stop and meet with the LORD. Although I was serving Him and trying to reflect His love... I missed this special time with Him. And I know He still loves me and I know that I am still forgiven and covered with grace. But next year, I want to set it aside.

The day after the Day of Atonement starts the Feast of Tabernacles. This 7 day feast celebrated the final ingathering of the Harvest. We are the harvest. We are the ones being gathered back to God!

It is a time to look back at how Israel wandered in the desert for forty years and dwelled in temporary shelters. And even during this time, God dwelled among them! It was a time to teach the children about their past generations and what God had done for them. It was a time to remember our life here is temporary! And Jesus is the ultimate tabernacle or dwelling place of God. And He comes to dwell inside us as believers! He dwells inside us through the Holy Spirit! Can you see the significance of knowing about and possibly celebrating this time each year?! It is beautiful!

Again, this is the cliff notes version. If you are interested in knowing more about this stuff, there are two amazing books listed below that will blow you away! There is so much more and it all is just amazing and beautiful! Thanks for letting me share! :0)

Celebrating Jesus in the Biblical Feasts, Dr. Richard Booker

The Messianic Church Arising! Dr. Robert Heidler

"I, Jesus, have sent my angel to testify to you these things in the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, the Birght and Morning Star." And the Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely." Revelation 22:16-17~

Note: I can not stress enough that we are not learning about/observing/celebrating these appointed times to try and gain salvation or earn our way to heaven. Salvation can't be earned! It is a gift that is given to those who believe in Jesus Christ as the Son of God and as their Savior and are baptized into Him. It is the gift of grace. Grace in itself gives glory to the name of God! Man can not earn anything with works.

We are learning about this and "celebrating" these times as we connect our Hebrew roots with our modern day Christianity. We find it a gift, not a burden. We find it beautiful and an incredible way to model a Deuteronomy 6 lifestyle. We do not judge anyone who does not want to look into any of this any further. I share it because it is beautiful and I feel God wants me to share it.

2011-10-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

Feast of Tabernacles

Oh how we have been robbed... we... Christians. Today starts one of the most beautiful Feasts of the LORD and we have been robbed of it for thousands of years. Today is the beginning of the Feast of Tabernacles.
It is Israel's Thanksgiving feast to acknowledge the Fall Harvest and God's provision for them. It is also a time to remember Israel's deliverance from Egypt and their wandering in the wilderness for forty years.
It is also a time to remember that our time here on this earth is temporary and that our eyes and hearts should be focused on eternal things and not the physical.

And it is a feast that has not been fulfilled yet.

Jesus Christ will fulfill this Feast during His second coming.

The date for this feast is in the bible.

“Also in the fifteenth day of the seventh month, when ye have gathered in the fruit of the land, ye shall keep a feast unto the LORD seven days: on the first day shall be a sabbath, and on the eighth day shall be a sabbath. And ye shall take you on the first day the boughs of goodly trees, branches of palm trees, and the boughs of thick trees, and willows of the brook; and ye shall rejoice before the LORD your God seven days. And ye shall keep it a feast unto the LORD seven days in the year. It shall be a statute for ever in your generations: ye shall celebrate it in the seventh month. Ye shall dwell in booths seven days; all that are Israelites born shall dwell in booths: That your generations may know that I made the children of Israel to dwell in booths, when I brought them out of the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God” (Lev. 23:29-43)

Jesus Christ will return to fulfill this feast, during this feast, just as He did with all the others! Every other feast in the bible was fulfilled during that feast to the day and to every detail! Seems like this might be a pretty important time to be aware of... hughh.?

"through embracing paganism, mankind has lost any understanding of spiritual reality," Dr. Robert D. Heidler, "The Messianic Church Arising!"

There is a huge pull happening all over the world. Christians are being pulled back to the Old Testament. NOT to take upon the yoke of the law. But to learn about and better understand WHO we are as believers, Children of God, fellow heirs of the kingdom, Christians.

The past two years have been so eye opening for my family and many of our friends. I am BLOWN AWAY at how many are hearing/feeling/receiving the same calling and what is being revealed.

For thousands of years, Jewish roots, OUR roots, God's roots, have been stripped out of churches... out of Christianity and much of the power left with it! But it was replaced with something. Almost ALWAYS when something is taken away it is replaced with something. And it was replaced with popular pagan rituals that revolved around the power and traditions of the Roman Empire. And it was not an accident. Satan knew exactly what he was doing just as he did in the garden of Eden with Eve. He is no fool. The word of God says he is a thief. He is the master and author of lies. And one of his greatest attacks on the "church" was through the Roman Emperor Constantine. Oh it makes me so furious.

And because it "sounds" like a lesson from a history book, many people just glaze over it, reject it, make excuses for it, or try to justify it. But we have been stripped and robbed of our inheritance as Children of God. Whether we are directly descended from the 10 scattered tribes of Israel (who inter-married with Gentile pagans and became "Gentile like"), from the tribe of Judah (Jewish) or Gentile (who is grafted in after accepting the Messiah)... as a believer in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ as the Messiah for our salvation... we are ISRAEL! There is one tree. (Romans 11:15-24) There is ONE NEW MAN. There is one family of God. We are God's children.

Over the next week as this Feast (which means "God Appointment" in the original language) is celebrated and observed/remembered, I am going to talk about this Feast and how it all got lost... and how it is all coming back! Along with a drive back to the root of Christianity, the LORD is unleashing the power of the Holy Spirit in mighty ways! He is gathering His people and He is purifying His Bride!

OH HOW I PRAISE THE NAME OF YAWEH!

There are two books that speak clearly and reveal so much of this... and it is all scripture based (with some historical evidence of the time as well!). I beg of you to order them on Amazon and read them.

Celebrating Jesus in the Biblical Feasts, Richard Booker.
The Messianic Church Arising! Dr. Robert D. Heidler.

I so look forward to sharing this with you!

2011-10-11T10:10:00.000-07:00

Speedster...

I am becoming the worst blogger ever.

One post in a week is pretty sad.

I am sorry.

Week after week speeds by in such a fashion that I can't catch my breath sometimes.

I HATE THAT!

I hate this pace. I do.

Last week is a blur.

Tuesday, I cleaned/laundry/stuff.

Wednesday, I cut out 9 banners, ironed and hemmed them, and then created an "example" banner for a craft I was sharing with my Mom2Mom group on Thursday. It took almost all day (along with the stuff that goes along with three kids in there and trying to prepare for a yard sale!)

Thursday, I had Mom2Mom and our group made the banner. I had lunch with a friend, went and picked up a clothes rack from another friend for the yard sale and went home and pulled out the rest of the stuff for the yard sale and priced it. I went to bed at midnight.

Friday morning, I was up early for the yard sale, pulled it back in around noon and then went to pick up some extra chillies we watched for the weekend while their mommy and daddy went on a get-away!

Saturday morning I did round 2 of the yard sale (which we did to raise money for friends who are hosting to adopt two twin girls from Latvia)... got everything divvied up for thrift and consignment... fed chillies lunch, showered, and then headed off to the Fall Frenzy where I worked a crazy hair booth. After leaving the festival we dropped the chillies off at home with a sitter and headed to Saturday night worship. IT WAS WONDERFUL.

Sunday, I awoke, got 4 chillies ready (thankfuly Taylor can man for herself!), and headed off to church where I taught the Sunday school lesson for k-5th!

Monday, after getting kids off to school, I went back to bed until about noon!

Today, I feel half human again! :0)

This week looks almost as crazy.

And my eye infection is back.

And spiritual battles are raging all around me and attacking people I love.

This is a crazy month. I am not sure how it happens... a month being so "booked". I try so hard to not let it get so "booked" and it sometimes just happens.

I try and remind myself that I am not living for myself.

And God does supply what I need.

And I try to take it one hour at a time.

And the blog is way down on the to do list.

I will try to do better.

:0)

2011-10-02T20:54:00.000-07:00

Another Monday...

Tomorrow will bring with her a new Monday. A new week... right there for the taking.

What will you do?

2011-09-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

Choosing to host...

People make choices every single day. Some are small... like what you are going to wear, what you are going to eat, what you are going to listen to in the car. Then there are times when you make bigger decisions... decisions like where you are going to worship, where you are going on vacation, where you are going to live. Then there are extra moments when you make choices that affect the kingdom of God. Choices that bring to life how Christ has triumphed over Satan. Choices like praying over a friend or your child, being obedient to the whisper of the Holy Spirit, taking the time to talk to an elderly person who wants to talk to you in the grocery store, baking muffins for your neighbor who lives alone, and choosing obedience to God no matter the cost.

And then there is the decision to host a child. This decision splits the spiritual realm into pieces. Legions of Satan's warriors are affected and legions of God's heavenly angels rejoice when a child... an orphan is rescued, loved, and introduced to Christ.

"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." James 1:27~

If God views visiting orphans this highly... what does He think about bringing them home to love them in His love? Can you imagine?

Their little faces watch as she drives away... and their hands wave... and their hearts wonder... do they dare to hope? They have been discarded. They have been abandoned. They have lost family. They have lost home. They have lost almost everything. And they wait... and wait... and wait. Do they dare hope?

1. What does hosting mean? Hosting means having the child stay with you and your family for the host period. It is for 5 weeks in the summer hosting and for 4 weeks in the winter hosting. You are not committing to adopting them. You are only hosting. If you decide you want to the adopt them, the adoption process is much easier since you have hosted.

2. How much does it cost? It costs $2500 per child to host. This pays for the paperwork involved and the airline ticket to fly them over. It is tax deductable.

3. I don't have the that much money. Great! Then that gives God the opportunity to show off and provide it for you! I have seen this over and over and over again and it never gets old! Allowing God to opportunity to provide only adds to your amazing story of what you are/God is doing in this child's life! You will be blown away with how quickly people/friends want to be a part of something like this and start giving you the money and other items needed. It is a very beautiful part of the process!

4. I could never send them back. Yes-you-can. You won't have a choice! And in all honesty, it is better for the child to go back as they will need to have some closure. If you have decided not to adopt them, they may be given another opportunity to be hosted. You then can become that child's personal advocate and be a part of the puzzle that God uses to find their forever family. If you have decided you want to adopt them, then you are FUELED by the separation to fly through the paperwork and that child can go back to see his/her friends again, wrap their brain around having a new family, and be ready to come back forever.

5. We don't really think we want to adopt. That's ok. Hosting does not mean you will adopt. Someone you know may meet them while they are here and decide to adopt them. We have hosted three times and adopted one of those three. The first child was adopted by a family who met her while she was with us (we were obedient to God's call to host even though we were in the adoption process for another child). The second child we hosted was our daughter! And the third child we hosted (again out of obedience to God's prompting in our hearts) is in the process of being adopted by another family who didn't host at all! The family who hosted his brother was also obedient to God's tug amidst all kinds of reasons why they shouldn't. And then one of their friends is adopting both boys! How cool is that! GOD DID THAT!

6. What will we do while they are here? Just be yourself! Some families feel the need to run all over the place and show everything they can to this child. This really can overload them and leave them with unrealistic expectations. When we hosted our daughter, her favorite thing to do was have family movie night in front of the fire with candles and popcorn! She would jump up and down with delight when we did this. We crafted. We played games. We visited friends. We did what we normally do. The only big thing we did was take her to the aquarium. And she still liked family movie night better!

7. How do I find out more? Go to http://www.projectonefortythree.com/ and complete the pre-registration to view the complete photolisting of the children available this winter. THIS DOES NOT OBLIGATE YOU TO HOST. For protection of the children, the photolisting is not available to the public without pre-registering. I am also available for questions and to share our personal experience with hosting!

This is like bringing the misson field into your home... to your family. It will change a life. It will change a generation. It can save a soul. It will transform you... and so many others around you.

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18~

2011-09-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

Quiet Time Reflection

He said to Simon, "Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch." (4)

into the deep... how often are we called into the deep by Christ...?

But Simon answered and said to Him, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless, at Your word I will let down the net." (5)

"But"... how many times do we respond to God's word, to His promptings, to His commandments with a "but..."

"we have toiled"... we...we on our own... we with our own plan... we in our own time... we in our own way... we toil and catch nothing.

"nevertheless"... what a word... nevertheless... it goes deeper than "anyway"... it screams reluctance but at the same time bends in obedience. What a human word... nevertheless.

"at Your word I will". What a prize awaits you when at the word of God you respond with "I will." It is the essence of what our life should be... "Lord, at Your word, I will."

And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their net was breaking. (6)
When Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, "Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord." (8)

And when they had done this... they caught. And when they did what Jesus told them to do... He provided. And when they did what Jesus told them to do... THEN Jesus provided. He didn't just provide, it was overflowing... it was in abundance! And when they did what Jesus told them to do... THEN Jesus had the opportunity to do what He does best... BE JESUS for them. Do we let Jesus do what He wants to do in our lives... or do we reject His call and offer and stick to OUR effort, OUR plan, and OUR way?

WHEN Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees and recognized Him as Lord! WHEN Peter heard Jesus, DID what He told Him to do, SAW Jesus do His thing, He THEN SAW JESUS!

So when they brought their boats to land, they forsook all and followed Him. (11)

After Jesus just overloaded their nets (they were fishermen... it was their career... their food, their income... their provision)... they brought their boats ashore and walked away from it all for Jesus... to follow Jesus. They walked away from their friends, from their boats, from their homes, from their possessions... they forsook all and followed Him. Wow. This just sat all over me this morning. How eager are we to forsake all for Jesus? How eager are we to forsake all to follow Jesus... to obey Him... to go where He brings you and to go when He calls?

Sometimes I jump up and run at His call. Other times I wait to see if He will repeat it? And more than that, I can dig in my heels and say no. Oh how I miss HIM and what He does best when I do that. When I cling to my knowledge and my ideas and my plans and my thoughts and desires and fears.

I want to always chose to forsake all and follow Jesus. I don't want to miss any opportunity to see Him and what He does best.

"Trust the Lord with ALL your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and HE SHALL DIRECT YOUR PATHS." Proverbs 3:5~

passage from Luke 5~

2011-09-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

A Bunch of Randoms

My mom is coming this weekend! She really just makes it about once a year and so it is a big deal to me when she comes. And she is better than Martha Stewart at all she does and so spots on my carpet suddenly jump out at me when she is approaching as does my shabby front door wreath and piles of "to do's"!

Her entire house always looks like a magazine as well. And that is normal for her. My house... ughh.. ummm... Does Not. Tomorrow will be B-U-S-Y. LOL I can't wait to laugh with her... we laugh a lot when we are together... and I love that. :0)

I stumbled upon some old pictures tonight. Isn't this amazing? Yes. I do think so. And I made it. And sold it. I am SO SAD as I come to a big realization that I kept NOTHING wonderful that I made!!!!

I didn't keep one of these either.... sigh...

or these... bigger sigh. I am really feeling sad about not having any of my cool jewlery tonight. I just might have to make some this Fall. :0)

And this old picture of Abby sleeping on my chest on one of our old back decks! She was so little. My heart hurts sometimes when I see these pictures of how little she was. :0( She is growing so quickly and I feel I did so much wrong with her... how I wish I could go back and do some things better. :0(

And lastly... these. Ughhh. I miss these more than the tree!~

If you are not aware, we don't celebrate Christmas anymore. Last year was our first non-Christmas year and I just left everything up in the attic. I was fine skipping the holiday but getting rid of stuff was a bit harder. When I ran across this picture, I realized that these are up there and that I could offer to sell them and donate the money to friends who are hosting and hoping to adopt two little girls from Latvia this winter. So... they are for sale for $125. They were $25 each and have been used two times I think... two or three. They are all perfect and the money is for a GREAT cause.

I am off to bed. Exhausted and need to be renewed.

Post Edit~ My husband is confused so I thought I would clarify about the stockings. Yes, I would like $125... not just for the stockings... but for the hosting and hopefully adoption of two precious girls from Latvia. I am trying to help a friend raise $5,000. So I know it is $25 more than I paid... I am thinking of it as a donation to changing two girls lives and the stockings are the "free gift" for donating! Actually, in all fairness, I got them from one of the stores that sold my jewelry. The owner gave them to me for trade in jewelry!! HA LOL Hope that clarifies things. :0)

2011-09-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

You Are Loved

Seems like such a simple statement. Yet for some... it is unknown.

I have been working on the photolisting for orphans in Latvia who are available for winter hosting.

It should have put me in bed for a week.

Photo, after photo, after photo of precious faces who feel nothing of the above.

Then came the spreadsheet with their "story".

Child #1- Sweet young boy with sibling sister. Been in orphanage for almost one year. Parents alcoholic and aggressive. This young man tried to "save his family" but couldn't. Close to his sister. Leaves her gifts on her bed.

Child #2- Very creative and kind hearted young girl with sibling younger sister. Feels it's her fault they are not being adopted. (Because she is older) Loves to cut her doll's hair, sing and dance. Very close to sister. So badly wants a family.

Child #3- Sent to institution due to some mild developmental delays. Brother was adopted to France but they did not want him. He cries for his brother. New foster mother has taught him to read and write in one year. He loves to help. He is very kind and sweet.

And it went on and on and on and on. Face after face of children who have been discarded like an old... whatever. Children that have simply... not so simply... been discarded. Children that wait and hope... that someone might want them. Children that the Father created and we are CALLED/COMMANDED to take care of... to rescue... to love and to care for.

My heart aches with deep pain as this whole alter world goes on day after day and so many turn a blind eye. We are too busy. We have enough children. We could never do all the paperwork. We could never afford it. It might complicate things. It's great... but not for me.

I praise and thank God that He was not too busy up there in heaven dealing with the whole universe and Satan and his cronies to take care of me... to adopt me and be there every time I call His name.

I praise and thank God He didn't look at Israel and say, "I have enough to deal with."

I praise and thank God that He thought there was no price too high to be paid for my soul.

And I praise and thank Him from the bottom of my soul that even though I fail, sin, fall away, slack off, and disappoint Him... that even though I can complicate things... He came after me anyway.

Tom Davis, with Children's Hope Chest, has said a quote that haunts me and is burned on my brain, heart, and soul... "We live like we are on vacation when we should be living like we are at war."

This is not a vacation. And it's not about our comfort. We are in the THROWS of an all out WAR. And these children sit and wait...

they wait for us.

http://www.projectonefortythree.org

2011-09-19T09:21:00.000-07:00

A Weekend Away... Alone

Thanks to very sweet and generous friends who watched our chillies... we slipped away this weekend to the lakehouse for a restful weekend.

It was wonderful. It was yummy. It was quiet.

It was beautiful. It was fun.

It was a blessing. And we must, must, must do it again and again and again!

(notes to self: get some color on your lips... never wear this shirt again... get a hairdo... use your eyecream!... sit up straight and slap yourself in the face a couple times and perk up for your photo! Seriously.)

2011-09-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

A VERY PUBLIC LOVE NOTE

I had all intentions of posting about my fabulous chalkboard wall today and dedicating it to my cousin Candi! But as I started downloading those pictures, I was overcome with this post and when it downloads into my heart and mind in such rapid fashion... I know it is inspired and so I am going to be obedient and public today with a love note. It is a love note to my husband. But at the same time, it is a plea for marriages and for hurting spouses... hurting wives and hurting husbands.

Marriage is one of the top targets for the enemy... for Satan and his army of darkness. When a marriage falls apart... ALL are wounded and Satan and his soldiers celebrate and gloat over their victory. When a marriage falls apart... a family is torn apart. Children are deeply wounded. Family is deeply wounded. And as marriage mirrors the relationship of Christ with His bride... Christ, the Father, the Holy Spirit and the angels of heaven are deeply saddened. THIS is what Satan wants. He wants to cause pain in the heavenly realm and he uses us as the tool to do it. We can become his pawns as he attacks us with lies, addiction, temptation, and distraction.

Every time I see my family picture, I am so humbled... and thankful. I could have missed this. Had I continued to listen to the lies of the enemy... I could have missed this. Had I walked away/ran away from my marriage... like I wanted to at one time... I could have missed this. My heart breaks at just the thought of it.

There was a time when I was convinced that my husband did not and could not love me. There was a time when I was convinced that I did not love him. I could not have the feelings I was having if I loved him. And there was a time I was convinced there was someone out there who would love me how I longed to be loved, how I wanted to be loved, how I deserved to be love.

Lies.

Total and complete lies.

Satan had used an arsenal of weapons to set the stage to ensnare me in this trap. Tools and lies that he started binding around me as a child! Tools and lies that he continued to bind around me while I dated... when I met and dated Don... during our very long dating period... and right into our marriage.

Our relationship was not founded on the love and truth of God. There is mistake number one. THIS gave the stage right to the enemy to start working with. I was a wounded girl looking to be wanted, loved, protected, and fought for. I was a wounded girl looking for a man to deem me worthy enough to love. And I did what I could to be worthy of that love. And when I felt like he was pulling away, I listened to the lies that it was because I wasn't good enough... and I tried even harder to be what I thought he wanted me to be.

Exhausting.

Impossible.

Wrong.

Never will work.

As I twisted into more anger as my efforts were not being rewarded, bitterness and self righteousness took root... and it dug deep.

Abby's illness was yet another tool Satan used. We fought about huge decisions that would affect her. I became frantic. I hit the wall.

I wanted out.

And I told him so.

The sorrow that fills me when I think of how self-destructive I was at that time is huge. O-U-T was all I could think about. And then I used that to suffocate anything positive that rose to the surface and kicked it back down.

I was driving to a friend's house one day when it hit me in the car. I-just-told-my-husband-I-want-out. The Lord so graciously gave me eyes and ears to hear it in reverse. And He opened my eyes to see my husband with His eyes. Broken. Afraid. Hurt. Angry. Wounded. Just-like-me. And I sobbed.

I knew that if I left the marriage it would not be in obedience to God's word... to His will... to His commands about marriage. So I clung to my desire to be obedient to God. My prayers became constant but simple. "Give me eyes to see him as You see him." "Give me the strength and courage to love him like You want him to be loved." "Let Your love for him overflow out of me." "Heal me, heal him, heal us."

And in time, walking in constant prayer and communion with the Lord, we began to heal.

It was not overnight.

I had to fight. Fight for truth.  Fight for my heart. Fight for my family. Fight for my marriage. Fight for my husband.  Fight to silence the lies. Fight to replace them with God's word. Fight to take every thought captive. Fight to learn how to LOVE. It is a VERB. IT IS NOT A FEELING. Satan gets most people right there. LOVE is not a feeling. It is an active verb that should never have ending. LOVE is also a NOUN... something that is shared, something that grows, and something that overflows and remains. But without the VERB... there is no NOUN.

I came before the Lord for my own healing.  My eyes were opened. I was looking to my husband for things he was not responsible for giving me. I was placing demands on him that were impossible. I was looking to him and making him an idol instead of looking to God and God alone. I was not forgiving him. And I was FAILING BIG TIME. By focusing on my own pain, my own needs, and my own disappointment... (selfishness) I was not doing doing what God wanted me to do AT ALL.

God uses a husband and wife to love them in the physical person. It is such a gift.  When I hug my husband, the Lord wraps His arms around him through me. When my husband reaches over and touches me, the Lord touches me through Him. When my husband embraces me in his arms, the Lord embraces me through Him.  When I speak words of affirmation and encouragement to my husband, the Lord encourages him through me. It is one mighty task to take someone in marriage and take on the privilege of being God's love to them in the flesh.  One should NEVER take that for granted.

Marriage is not to make you happy! The author of "Sacred Marriage," Gary Thomas, speaks great truths about what marriage is. I HIGHLY recommend this book to every married person alive! Here are just a few things from this book:

"If the purpose of marriage was simply to enjoy an infatuation and make me happy, then I'd have to get a new marriage very two to three years."

"Any situation that calls me to confront my selfishness has enormous spiritual value."

"Marriage requires a radical commitment to love our spouses as they are, while longing for them to become what they are not yet. Every marriage moves either toward enhancing one another's glory or toward degrading each other." (Dan Allender and Trempter Longman III)

"The beauty of Christianity is in learning to love, and few life situations test that so radically as does a marriage."

"Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude."

"Marriage virtually forces us into the intense act of reconciliation."

"What marriage has done for me is hold up a mirror to my sin."

"Don't give in to the temptation to resent your partner as your own weaknesses are revealed."

"The mature response, however, is not to leave; it's to change-- ourselves."

"That's the beauty of doing things God's way. Even when we're sinned against, we can grow through the experience by the grace of God."

"Merely being faithful to your spouse is quite a testimony in this society. But as you go beyond that to communicative love for your spouse in a consistent, creative, and uninhibited way, the world can't help but notice. God will be honored." (Gary and Betsy Ricucci)

While God worked on me, I was blown away by what I began to see.

I began to see more and more of my own sin. And I began to see his love. And it was unconditional. It was wounded... but it was willing. It was sweet and it was deep.

As I think about my husband's love for me today, I am almost moved to tears. He loves me better and more than I could have ever thought possible... more than I could have hoped for... and it moves me... and it grounds me. And I KNOW it is a gift from the Lord. I KNOW it is a blessing from our obedience to Him.

He loves me despite myself. He loves me despite my wounds and weakness. Actually, I think he loves me more for it, not in spite of it. It is a love that wraps me in trust. It is a reflection of God's love for me. And he does it so well. I am so humbled. I am so thankful.

I PRAISE THE LORD FOR HIS WORD AND HIS LOVE AND HIS FAITHFULNESS AND MERCY.

To my precious husband... I am so very thankful for your love and forgiveness. I love the way you love me. You amaze me over and over. I am so very blessed to share this life with you. The love in your eyes for me humbles me to my knees. And no matter what happens... I will be just fine... because I will be with you and we will be with the LORD. You are such a man of great character and integrity. Your heart for others overflows with generousity. Your love for our family overflows onto all of us. You are who God created you to be and I praise Him for having His hand on you. You amaze me deeply. I am overwhelmed. I am humbled. I am so very thankful. I love you crazy.

We are walking a path of uncertainty with his job right now. Southwest Airlines is merging with AirTran (the company he flies for) and uncertainty in big ways lie ahead. And it doesn't look good. I had peace about the whole thing until a few weeks ago when I felt my husband and his fellow pilots were very wronged. My peace went down the drain and I was ready to jump on a plane and find the CEO of Southwest and have a talk!

But my husband, is unmoved. He is being wronged, yet he speaks not an ill word. He comforts me and assures me all will be ok. He holds me as my flesh wages against the peace and he comforts me. And I believe him.

He doesn't care that his pay is going to be greatly decreased. He doesn't care that we may have to move. He doesn't care he will be bumped out of his captain seat and become first officer again. He doesn't care he will lose much seniority with the company.

All he cares about is that we will be together and that God is in control.

It is one of his finest moments. I could not love him more. I could not be more secure. I could not feel more loved. He has amazed me... and continues to. God's hand on him romances me like nothing else. He is my hero. And I am so lucky.

God is the redeemer of broken things. I know many marriages that are hanging on a cliff of destruction right now. Marriages that are close to me. Wives who don't want to love anymore because of how they feel. Husbands who are not fighting like the warriors God has created them to be. Wives who are wanting out. Husbands who are walking away. Wives and husbands who are focusing on self instead of serving and loving the other. It is so sad. I do not sit in judgment, I was once there, but in sadness.

If this speaks to you, I challenge you to GIVE LOVE no matter how you are feeling. Today. Right now. Fight.

Wives- touch your husband, hug him, love him... no matter how you are feeling. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. No matter how you feel. Silence lies from the enemy. Speak truth over your marriage. And stay at the Father's feet. Look for ways to love your husband, not avoid him. Don't you realize that avoiding him is exactly what the enemy wants you to do? Do you know what could happen if you approach him in love? Mountains would be moved. Make him a priority. Healing could surface and restoration could begin. Pray for God to show you how to love him.

Husbands- listen to your wife and romance her. Reach out to her. And if you are rejected, do it again... and again... and again. Pray for her. Speak words of love and affirmation to her. Serve her. Make time for her. Make her a priority. FIGHT FOR HER. Ask God how you can be love to her. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.

Do not give Satan a foothold in your marriage. If you are not actively loving your spouse, you are opening the door to the enemy and inviting him inside. No excuses. If you are not actively loving your spouse, you are not pleasing the Lord. FIGHT by surrendering to the LORD and be obedient. Obedience is actively loving and forgiving. Not co-existing.

"May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance." 2 Thessalonians 3:5~

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I AM NOTHING.

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.

It always protects,

always trusts,

always hopes,

always perseveres.

Love never fails."

I Corinthians 13: 1-8~

Marriage doesn't make you happy. But the joy that overflows from a marriage in God's hands and is focused on Him brings happiness that deeply delights the soul!

2011-09-08T07:15:00.000-07:00

Words that fall and soak in...

"The extent of prayer in one's life is a direct function of whether something else has been set up as more important than God." Ann Voskamp, at http://www.aholyexperience.com/

Wow. Ann speaks words of the Lord over me all the time and she doesn't even know me.

God uses Ann to speak to the deep parts in my heart and His timing is most often spot on.

Last night, as I settled into bed in the coolness of night, I started to pray. And within moments my spirit asked me, "Why have you waited until just now to come into His presence?" I was saddened that I had been BUSY all day with my own agenda. I was driven to get a project done. And I did get it done. And I LOVE it. But I never once spoke with Him while I worked on it. I never once felt the pull to pause and be with Him. And THAT is what saddens me so. How the "busy-ness" of the day can consume me so easily and quickly.

I had stopped and sat on the sofa and prayed with Taylor in the early evening. Bless her heart. School is so much work for her right now and I see her heart really taking a beating. After leaving for school at 7:50 a.m. and working all day at school, she comes home at 3:45 p.m. just to have a 30 minute break with a show and snack and then retreats to her room or the table to start working on it again. And she has been spending at least 2 to 3 hours each afternoon doing homework. With one chore, dinner, and a shower... there is no time for anything else. She doesn't like it. She is exhausted. "What is this?" she asks. "What kind of life is this?" And I responded with, "The life of a child." Really. Really? Am I going to just fall into that idea of the world that THIS is what life is for her right now? As the words slipped out of my mouth so easily and my heart stung with the sting of them, they didn't sound right. And I am not buying them. And I pray she doesn't either.

So we sat on the sofa and prayed. We prayed for her heart and for her mind. We thanked God He gave her a mind that can learn so easily. We thanked God for her heart that is willing and kind and loving and sweet. We prayed that she knows who she is, who she really is, and that it has nothing to do with how she takes a test and if she can remember LCF and GCM in math. We prayed God would recall what she had learned for her test today and that He would refresh her soul. And then we held each other.

And as I lied there in bed, wanting to find the Father's presence for a moment... I realized it was the first time I had sought Him... for me... for us... all day long. He came at the end. Sorrow. And yet He was there. Waiting. Ever so waiting. And He took me in... and I am ever so thankful. Thankfulness. Conviction.

"It's my own inflated sense of self-importance, the elevation of my work, my agenda, that keeps me from prayer- communion." Ann Voskamp

The words soak in. They penetrate deep.

Truth can sometimes hurt.

But truth always brings light... growth and freedom.

Now what do I do?

With these words?

Do I let them evaporate away in the heat of the day?

Or do I let them quench the thirst of my soul and bring me life?

"O God, You are my God;

Early will I seek You;

My soul thirsts for You;

My flesh longs for You

In a dry and thirsty land

where there is no water.

So I have looked to You in the sanctuary,

To see Your power and Your glory.

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,

My lips shall praise You.

Thus I will bless You while I live;

I will lift up my hands in Your name."

Psalm 63:1-4~

2011-09-07T11:44:00.000-07:00

Change is in the air

I love, love, love this time of year. There is something so dramatic about the transition to Fall. It lures me in with excitement and anticipation year after year after year. It never gets old. It is never the same. And it always blesses me in so many ways.

How beautiful that the transitions of seasons in weather mirror our own transitions in life. How beautiful God knew we needed them. And how beautiful that His creative handiwork is out full force with the arrival of Fall.

I love to "nest" this time of year. Things go from fresh and bright to warm and cozy! Fresh and bright is good but I am always ready for the arrival of warm and cozy. They invite me to slow down, nestle deep in the covers, and slide into layers of clothing. They suggest I sit outside by the fire and roast marshmellows. And I happily take them up on their suggestion. They boast about their leafy friends who dance in the air and ride the wings of the wind. And that smell... that amazing smell that makes me want to be home... the smell of smoke findning it's way out of sleepy chimneys!

I saw this the other day and sighed... oh how I wish my entry looked as inviting as this place!

I have ideas... and I will be freshening my door wreath soon!

And I have plans for mason jars and candles... and candy corn with peanuts for snacking.

Praise Him. Fall has almost arrived! And I can't wait to breath her in!

2011-09-04T18:36:00.000-07:00

Friendly Captivity

Beth Moore has a Bible study entitled, "Daniel". It is one of the most powerful studies I have ever done. It brings the biblical Babylon right up to modern day Babylon and one of the terms she used that stuck with me was "friendly captivity". It's when the enemy makes evil look "not so bad" and we are quickly and way too easily ensnared into darkness and sin. Television shows make hopping in bed with people look "not so bad". Television commercials make sinful lifestyles look "not so bad". Music we listen to makes sinful choices and acts sound... "not so bad". Magazines make clothing that is hardly there look... "not so bad". It is never ending. And Satan wants evil to look sweet, cute, friendly. And that brings me to this post. It may not be popular, but I can not avoid it.

I was looking at one of my favorite blogs and she is already all into Halloween. I am amazed and just dumb founded at how Halloween is the favorite holiday of many people... and many Christians. I saw this picture on her site. The word "Wicked" is made into a beautiful banner and it is draping the mantel of a home. This is friendly captivity to the fullest and it breaks my heart at how veiled so many people's eyes, minds, and hearts are to this horrible deception. Really? You are inviting wickedness into your home and trying to make it pretty? Would you make a banner out of the word "Satan"... or "Murder"... or "Kill"... or "darkness" and place it as one of the focal pieces in your home?

Halloween is a day of wickedness and a day that celebrates darkness, death, witchcraft, and evil. How in the world have we been so blinded and have tried to play with fire by fluffing it up with trick or treating and beautiful decorating. As children of God we are called to be holy and separate. Darkness can not coexist with light. Period. It is that simple. People can not dress up their children like vampires and demons or other horror characters and shine the light of Christ. We have been deceived and for a great reason. By making evil look cute and harmless... we are less likely to be on guard to resist it... and THIS is the goal of the enemy all day long. To make himself look harmless and to get us to drop our guard. Evil and Wicked are real and they attack Christians constantly. They are all out to destroy our families, our children, our marriages, our churches, our relationships with God, our very hearts and lives.

We used to celebrate Halloween in the non-evil way. HA. I have to laugh just thinking about it. Our children could dress up by not as anything scary or evil... just the cute stuff. Then my eyes were opened to the real meaning of Halloween, what happens all over the world on this night, and I was convicted to the core not to be any part of it. Holiness can not dabble in darkness without being contaminated. I realized that I had fallen victim to friendly captivity and was trying to fluff and beautify something that was dark and evil.

I know not everyone will agree with this and I am not here to convince anyone of anything. But I am called to share the truth and I will do so and leave it at that. We are called to be above this stuff. We are called to have nothing to do with darkness. We are called to resist evil... not beautify it. I pray this makes you question where the holiday came from, what it signifies, question if it glorifies God in any way, and see what God shows you. Halloween is not cute. It is not fun. It is the personification of the wolf in sheep's clothing... and it breaks my heart.

2011-09-01T13:50:00.000-07:00

Back to Africa...

It has been so hard to get back to Africa... to Uganda... to Adacar... to the kids and the stories. Coming home from the trip to a host child and then getting a second host child and then trying to get life back to some sort of normal has been very difficult. I am so sorry for the lag in posts and my break. But I have my head above water again and am ready to share some more.

Three people sponsored Adacar kids today. Three of my friends. Three people who read this blog and were moved and touched by God to become a part of one of these children's lives. I remain so humbled. And I remain so lucky and blessed. I am so very lucky and blessed to be able to share this.

It never fails... never. I start thinking no one is reading this blog and that I am wasting my time. Not many comments are left and the enemy uses that to tell me to stop wasting my time here. I start thinking that people are upset that my blog has changed from the fun decorating and fluff stuff to deep and real and that no one wants to hear it anymore. And just when I am thick in thinking that... God walks in and tells me something so very different. Last week... three people came up to me on one day and started talking about how they had just caught up on my blog, sat in tears as they read it, drug their husbands in to read it, and that they wanted to sponsor a child. They thanked me over and over for taking the time to share this. It was if they had been right in my head with my struggles and were speaking truth right over it. Another friend came up and said she had never read it until just recently and was going back through my older posts and how much she loved it. And another was so moved, she and her husband are planning a fundraiser in the state where they live to raise money for Adacar. Wow. All I can say is Wow... and thank you.

It is so easy to be distracted with the fluff stuff. I still need it for a mental retreat. I still browse through my decorating blogs to get some fun ideas and still freshen around here as often as I can. I love to create and I love to nest and I love to make our house our home. But it is not where my priority lies. And it is not what I mainly talk about. And I don't make any apologies for that anymore. I can never go back to THAT being what matters and where my attention lies. There is too much need in the world and too much of HIM to share to be caught up in the fluff. But I do promise to slip in a redo photo here and there and a fun project every now and then! :0)

This precious child stood out to me from the first day I arrived. I wasn't sure why until a few days later when I realized it was the sponsor child of my Mom 2 Mom leader at the time. Her name is Annette. And she is nothing short of precious. And she was knitting with sticks. If you look ever so closely... you will see a tiny notch in the end of her little stick. They use yarn from old sweaters that have been unwoven. They also use plastic... and knit with hypodermic needles. You read that right. That is how they craft.

I am amazed at how resourceful and talented they are. Amazed.

Annette knitted for me and was proud to show me her talent. I was humbled.

Annette sat next to me on a table and let me rub her arm in soft strokes. After about 15 minutes... she sweetly started rubbing mine. It was so deeply precious. It was trust. It was friendship. It was a gift. Affection is not something that is high on the priority list over there. Surviving is. I will treasure that moment always... and the soft weight of her little finger gliding up and down my arm.

One day, members of our team started painting finger nails. Boys and girls lined up and waited patiently for their turn to have painted nails! It was so sweet. They were mesmerized.

Many times, they just painted right over the dirt! :0) They didn't care. And neither did we.

Painted nails. The highlight of that day. Such a simple treat.

Oh... how we take so much for granted. But oh... how we no longer have to.

Continue to pray for Adacar. Continue to pray for these children. Continue to pray for them to see God's love and to follow Him through their faith in Christ. Pray for the relationships being built through sponsorships. Pray for each child to know God's love.

2011-08-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

Deeply Humbled

It is nothing short of a blessing to be able to share a story of how God has brought something beautiful from something so painful, ugly, and hard.

I was given the opportunity to share my testimony of my journey to motherhood and Abby's story today for a group of moms. I got to share how God brought infertility full circle to adoption and child advocacy. I got to share how God brought Abby from death's door to full life.

God was so present and my prayer was that He would speak to each woman there in the way that she needed to hear from Him. I knew He wanted to speak to them and that each one could receive something different.

I am humbled to my core at the response and at His faithfulness. One woman came up to me who has a 6 month old with brain abnormalities and very frequent seizures. As she thanked me with tears in her eyes for sharing and being real and shared how she is dealing with many of the same emotions and pain... all I could do was be so blessed and thankful that Abby's story was bringing hope, encouragement, and strength to another mother walking through her own storm.

Woman afer woman came up to me to share how they or someone beside them had been touched.

And so I praise the God above... our God, who is the master redeemer, who is the lover of our souls, who is our constant in the raging and ever changing storms of life. And I praise Him for allowing me to share His light and love with others... and His sovereignty. And I praise Him for the beauty of women gathered in His presence.

2011-08-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

His name is Charlie and he joined our family on Sunday!

Oh... he is such a bundle of love and pee puddles!

It is amazing and overwhelming how much love and happiness can fill you in the presence of a puppy!

He is a vizsla and he was rescued from some pretty sad circumstances!

We are blessed and very lucky to have him!

2011-08-12T10:23:00.000-07:00

When there is nothing left...

When there is nothing left to give... when I can't take one more 3 year old meltdown... when I can't respond to one more spout of disrespect... when I can't clean up one more puddle of urine... when I can not process one more emotion... when I can not find any motivation to wash any article of clothing or clean one more surface... when I want to crumble and have a fit of my own...

I walk by my bathroom window and God so sweetly grabs my attention with this...

and He steals my breath... for a moment... as I see Him in all His creative glory... reaching down to me with a gift...a gift of His beauty and presence and His voice saying, "Come to me."

And I do. And He is there... as always... waiting and ready to give me what I need for another hour... for another day. And I am thankful.

2011-08-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

To God be the Glory... always

"What is impossible with men is possible with God." Luke 18:27~

"Complete weakness and dependence will always be the occasion for the Spirit of God to manifest His power." Oswald Chambers~

I think healing has begun and lessons are emerging.

We put ourselves, our love, our time, and our family out there to one in need and we were rejected.

The one in need doesn't see her need.

Her eyes are veiled... thickly covered in lies from the enemy.

She said, "No thank you."

And we had to accept it.

The pain of rejection runs deep.

The pain of watching someone run forward on a path towards destruction runs deeper.

Questions taunt the heart and mind.

The enemy looks for a way in...to wreck more havoc.

And he delivers more painful blows.

My heart breaks.

My heart struggles in a battle of emotions.

But my God is bigger than anything the enemy can scheme.

And even though she said no... God's love and light was given and I know in my heart of hearts that some of it settled down deep.

And God will be glorified.

I rest in Him.

*Note: I promise more on Adacar is coming soon.

2011-08-10T08:28:00.000-07:00

Love

We are saturated with images in our society of love. They all usually revolve around one aspect of love... the "feeling" of love. Most of them miss the core and true meaning of love... the verb. The verb that demands to remain when the feeling is not there. The verb that demands to remain when the one being loved hurts you and disappoints you and rejects you.

God's love is never failing. It is unending. It is unconditional. It is boundless and incomprehensible.

How often God loves us when we are hurting Him. As I read the Old Testament and see His deep, deep love for Israel (His chosen people) and watch them turn against Him time and time again... I get a glimpse of the kind of love He has for me. He never stopped loving them. He allowed them to fall in their sin and disregard for Him and His word... but He never stopped loving them.

Isaiah is one of my favorite books in the Old Testament. God's love for His people is vivid and alive in these pages. I am moved at how much He loves us.

"For a mere moment I have forsaken you, But with great mercies I will gather you. With a little wrath I hid my face from you for a moment; But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you," says the LORD, your Redeemer." Isaiah 54:8~

Hosea is another book that is the love story of the LORD with Israel. If you have never read Hosea... you would be giving yourself a gift to do so. It is a short book... just 14 chapters. And it is simply beautiful.
And there is something I must say. It is something I learned during this past year and it has caused the Old Testament to become alive to me. It has given me a passion for reading it as I have never had before... because I never knew how much it applied to me.

I have often been confused at how the entire Old Testament could be about Israel (God's chosen people) and how the New Testament was about Christ who came for sinners. How did these two books fit together? Why was it given to us and so important? If it was only about the New Testament... why were we given the Old too?

My answer was that it (Old Testament) was to simply show us God's love and grace and mercy and power. It also showed clearly how He views sin and disobedience as well as righteousness and obedience. But then I was shown something that changed everything. I was shown that I am part of Israel. It was always about Israel and it is still about Israel! And then it all had new meaning... it was written for me and about me. Isn't it sad that something has to be about us sometimes to really speak to us? It may be sad, but it often true. Suddenly God's passion and pain and love and mercy and grace and blessing and promise was not just about Israel (and I didn't really understand that)... it was personally about me.

All through the books of Psalm, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Hosea and Ezekiel (and other books too) the LORD refers to the house of Judah and the House of Israel. The house of Judah refers to two of the twelve tribes of Israel and the house of Israel refers to the other ten. After each set of "houses" were sent into captivity (due to their disobedience) God offered freedom and restoration to them. The house of Judah (including the tribe of Judah... the Jews) returned to God but the house of Israel (10 other tribes) liked their worldly life and said "no thanks... we want to stay here".  So God scattered them to the ends of the earth and they married Gentiles and people outside God's chosen people... foreigners.

Psalm 106: 24-27 "Then they despised the pleasant land; They did not believe His word, But complained in their tents, And did not heed the voice of the LORD. Therefore He raised an oath against them, To overthrow them in the wilderness, To overthrow their descendants among the nations and to scatter them in the lands."

The chapter continues to give example after example of how they disobeyed God over and over and over.

(34-36) "They did not destroy the peoples, concerning whom the LORD had commanded them, but they mingled with the Gentiles and learned their works; they served their idols, which became a snare to them."
(39) Thus they were defiled by their own works, And played the harlot by their own deeds. *(The book of Hosea is about the harlot who goes back to sin over and over and over... Israel and how God continues to follow her and forgive her and love her.)
(40,41) Therefore the wrath of the LORD was kindled against His people, So that He abhorred His own inheritance. And He gave them into the hand of the Gentiles, And those who hated them ruled over them."
(46,47) "He also made them to be pitied by all those who carried them away captive. Save us, O LORD our God, And gather us from among the Gentiles, to give thanks to your Holy name, to triumph in Your praise."

Psalm 108:5,6 "Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, And Your glory above all the earth; That your beloved (Israel) may be delivered, Save with your right hand, and hear me." *(Christ sits at the right hand of God)

Psalm 110 announces the reign of the Messiah... Christ Psalm 22 is also the crucifixion story!
(1) "The LORD (GOD) said to my Lord (Christ), "Sit at my right hand, Till I make your enemies Your footstool.."

Psalm 111 talks about God's faithfulness to HIS people... and who is HIS people... Israel.
(4-10) "He has made His wonderful works to be remembered; The LORD is gracious and full of compassion. He has given food to those who fear Him; (manna and qual in the wilderness to Israel) He will be mindful of His covenant. He has declared to HIS people the power of His works, In giving them the heritage of the nations. The works of His hands are verity and justice; All His precepts are sure. THEY STAND FAST FOREVER AND EVER, and are done in truth and uprightness. He has sent redemption to HIS people; He has commanded His covenant forever: Holy and awesome is His name. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments. His praise endures forever."

Psalm 118:21-24 "I will praise You, For you have answered me, and have become my salvation. (Christ)
The stone which the builders rejected Has become the chief cornerstone. (Luke 17:25 "But first He must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation.")

Isaiah 56:1-3 "Thus says the LORD: Keep justice, and do righteousness. For my salvation is about to come, and My righteousness be revealed. Blessed is the man who does this, And the son of man who lays hold of it; Who keeps from defiling the Sabbath, and keeps his hand from doing evil. Do not let the son of the foreigner, who has joined himself to the LORD (Gentiles) speak, saying, The LORD has utterly seperated me from HIS people (Israel)." (8) "The Lord God, who gathers the outcasts of Israel, (10 scattered tribes... House of Israel) says, Yet I will gather to him (Jesus) others (Gentiles) besides those who are gathered to him."

Ezekiel 34 refers to scattered Israel as lost sheep needing a shepherd. MANY are the references to the scattered tribes as the lost sheep. (5,6) "So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them.
(11-13) "For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. (Christ our Shepherd) As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. (16) I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice. (22-25) I will save MY flock, and they will no longer be plundered. I will judge between one sheep and another.  I will place over them one shepherd, my servant David (Christ), and he will tend to them; he will tend them and be their shepherd. I the LORD will be their God, and my servant David will be prince among them. I the LORD have spoken. I will make a covenant of peace with them..." *(Christ is the Prince of Peace)

Jesus Himself talks about this in the book of John in chapter 10. (1-5) "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door, but climbs up some other way, the same is a thief and robber. But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers." (7- 11) "Then Jesus said to them again, "Most assuredly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who ever came before Me (false gods) are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. I AM THE DOOR. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief does not come excpet to steal and kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly. I AM THE GOOD SHEPHERD. THE GOOD SHEPHERD GIVES HIS LIFE FOR HIS SHEEP."

This next scripture shocked me and sent me deeper into study.
"Matthew 15:21-24 "Then Jesus went out from there and departed to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him saying, "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is sverely demon-possessed. But he answered her not a word. (*Wow... someone cries out to Jesus and he ignores her... that should catch our attention!) And His disciples came and urged Him saying, "Send her away for she cries out after us. But He answered and said, "I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."

I have read this passage before and yet read right past this!  The woman, who is a Gentile, goes on to plead and worship Him! (26) "But he answered and said, "It is not good to take the children's bread (Israel's inheritance of salvation) and throw it to the little dogs." (Gentiles) (27) And she said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters' table." This is so bold, sweet, humble and sincere and heartfelt. She was recognizing she wasn't entitled... but still in need and asking for His mercy. I LOVE this passage and I LOVE this woman! (28) Then Jesus answered and said to her, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire. And her daughter was healed that very hour." HER FAITH is what touched Jesus!

Isaiah 42, 60, and 63 talk about how it wasn't enough to send Christ only to gather the lost sheep but He would be sent also as a light unto the Gentiles. Paul talks about how once you hear the voice of the Shepherd and follow him, it is no longer about being Jew or Gentile... because Gentiles are grafted in... and the two become one... Gentiles are taken into the fold and become part of Israel. They become part of God's chosen people. And God's chosen people is Israel.

Once I saw how intertwined the Old Testament is with the New and realized that I am part of Israel (whether I am descended from the lost tribes or grafted in) and that Christ came to find me and call me by name... the entire Bible became 3-D and my passion for His word exploded.

I know that was a lot. And I am not sure how this post really came to be. But we are weathering some storms right now and I was clinging to God's word and the reality of His love for me. The enemy is raging and trying to steal, kill and destroy. And I was led to share this about God's love and who we really are in Christ! If the holy and living God loves me despite my flaws and weaknesses and shortcomings... and seeks me out, calls me by name, and gives me grace... then WHO am I to deny someone love who has not earned it?

This past year has been huge for us as God reveals more and more of His word and His love and His will and His presence. I can not keep it to myself!

I pray you are encouraged. I pray you take time to dive into His word and read it! The enemy keeps us (tries to keep us) distracted and out of God's presence. He gets a hold of us so quickly when we allow him to keep us from the most important place to be. We need a shepherd... every moment... of every day... and we have one in Jesus Christ!

Love and hugs...

2011-08-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

Boundless Love and Emotional Roller Coaster Rides

THANK YOU for your patience. I have several of you mentioning, so sweetly, that you are looking daily for a new post. I have to say a big, "I am sorry", as life has been one high and low after another and moving in fast forward. And I also apologize that this post is not an Africa post. I promise to get back to them soon!

As I mentioned earlier, God so amazingly has provided a forever family for Vladimirs AND his brother! Don and I knew we weren't feeling God lead us in that direction and it was hard to feel that way as he was just precious. But God showed off for us again as His plan unfolded and a PRECIOUS and SUPER amazing family stepped up to take BOTH boys to keep them together. God's word says that God's plan is often BETTER than ours or what we could even imagine and He proved it yet again!

I flew up there (a state up North) to meet the host family who had his brother and the adoptive family and they are ALL amazing. I am so humbled that this process has brought 4 more amazing people into my life. And as I watched them with both boys, I was overwhelmed with how blessed I was to get to watch this family have their first day with both boys. It was so so sweet.

While I was up there, Don and I decided to bring a girl back down to our home and advocate for her as a family had not stepped forward to adopt her. My heart just skipped beats when I saw her the first time and I had so much hope. But the enemy is working strong and it has been challenging in many ways. I had much more written out here but I feel now is not the time to share details.

Last night, I felt like a wet rag. I just have nothing left. I am so empty and emotionally spent. And my devotional spoke to me so clearly as it always does. "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you can not do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" Luke 12:25-26~ I could have just sobbed for hours. First of all, God considers adding an hour to your life a little thing! Wow. How amazing are His ways and mind blowing is His power! But He clearly went right to the core of my pain and problem... I am worrying... and by doing so I am not trusting Him. I am relying on myself to say and do the right things to reach this precious child and try to convince her there is a better way. I- can- not. It is not up to me to save her.

I am having a major case of emotional battle royal! Wow. Hard is an understatement. We need prayers. And boundless love. Overflowing boundless love and massive amounts of emotional energy!

2011-07-28T12:02:00.000-07:00

A Forever Family

God is moving a family to adopt Vladimirs! We are thrilled and blown away with God's love and provision and wisdom. And the kicker... the cherry on top... the bonus prize.... they are also being moved to adopt one of his brothers to keep them together. I know... can you stand it!!!!!!?????

My soul leaps with delight at how God's plan is ALWAYS better than one we could do on our own!

We will be flying to visit this family in their home state this weekend. I am about to burst to meet them and see the boys there together.

I can not praise the LORD enough... nor get enough of Him.

2011-07-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

"Nurturing your spirit with everlasting truth"... one of my newest daily "Must Do's"!

Last night, my spirit was deeply nurtured by the Holy Spirit.

Thank you Father.

I am so very, very thankful for the women who are inspiring me right now.

And I am deeply thankful for the everlasting truth.

2011-07-26T14:13:00.000-07:00

Hunger and Thirst for Righteousness

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed." Psalm 103: 1-6~

The Lord so sweetly gave me this scripture for my trip. I shared it with the people there, I embraced it while I loved and served them and I cling to it now. How mighty is the LORD who is our Savior!

This post is deep. I pray as you read it... and get a glimpse of what happens daily... over and over... and over... the Holy Spirit will blow upon you and whisper to your soul. That is my prayer... that is my main prayer.

Preparation starts early and wood is gathered. There is a meal to be made... THE meal of the day.

Powder is mixed with water and posho is created. I may be spelling that wrong (M, let me know), but it is a substance close to our grits... after they have sat in your bowl for an hour... but hot! And the cook does this day after day after day after day... for hundreds of orphans.

It is stirred with sticks... heavy, thick and strong sticks that can take the weight of the posho as you dig and flip... dig and flip.

And it cooks all morning... in the kitchen... until early afternoon.

The children are released from school and they come across the road and gather... beneath trees. Everything happens beneath the greatness and shelter of the tree.

This is when the separation occurs. There are two great trees. Beneath one, children form into organized and very orderly lines. This is the tree of the sponsored... the children who have been profiled and are in the sponsorship program. There are about 250 beneath this tree. And they wait. They are about to be fed.

Then there is the other tree. The tree of the "have nots" as if there is a tree of the ones who "have".

They are the children in the background of this picture. And in reality, they are far more than a blur. They are hungry. They are not sponsored. They are not a part of the program. And they gather beneath the shelter of the tree... and they wait. But they also watch... for almost two hours... and this is what they watch... every day... over... and over... and over....

Children line up and patiently wait for the blessing of a hot meal...

they wash their hands...

and one by one... they are handed a bowl...

there is never a complaint about the child in front of them getting more...

just smile after smile mingled with "thank you"... over and over and over.

There is a humility that floods your soul when you hand food to a hungry child... a child who is really hungry... that is like nothing else. It stings as it collides with your heart and yet it immediately floods you with the Father's love and delight. And it... like so many other things there... lingers. It does not leave or let go. It moves every time I stand in front of my overflowing pantry. It moves every time I realize in the early morning hours that my kids are being fed around the world. I could stand and feed them all day... over... and over... and over.

The last child in line has gotten her bowl. Stomachs have been filled. Hearts have been replenished with hope. And God has provided... again... through this amazing program of Children's Hope Chest and the willing and generous people who lovingly give $34 a month to sponsor a child... this child... these children.

And this is where the angels in heaven stop for just a moment... this is where everything changes for several intense moments. This is where many on our team have to turn their backs as they release sobs from deep within... this is where the 200+ children who are beneath the tree of the "have nots" come rushing towards us for anything left. After two hours of sitting... waiting... and watching... raw survival instincts overcome these precious ones and the heavens cry.

Eyes are looking, pleading, begging. Feet are rushing. Arms are pushing and voices are raised. Hunger become personified and becomes flesh.

And in what seems so unlikely, it takes only the presence of a stick to direct them back to their tree.

(I must emphasize GREATLY that this stick, this small stick, was never used on a child. It was only picked up off the ground and shown. I mean look at it. I was amazed and humbled to the core that just the image was enough to restore order. The one holding the stick LOVES these children with compassion and dedication we can not even begin to comprehend. He lives there and loves them every day. But when chaos erupts, the children are in danger, and the image of the stick worked. :0)

As they walked back to their tree, I was so overcome. We had left overs... no posho... just some extra beans... enough to feed about 12 children. Twelve. 12. Out of hundreds. My tears came from the deepest places and I knew THIS would be one of my most important stories to share. I found comfort in knowing that God would bring beauty from these ashes. This moment would be used for His glory!

Precious Agnes, our female discipler there, would take the responsibility of going over to the tree and making the choices. She would choose who would get some food today... some left over beans. And one by one... she chooses the smallest ones... the ones who had been most shoved and trampled. As her very body was battling Malaria for the third time, she walked over with a tiny reed in her hand and made choices that none of us could imagine making.

And here they stand... looking in the almost empty pot to see if there really is anything left.

And in God's grace... there was... something left.

And then there was the last bowl of the day.

And there remained hundreds of hungry children...

who could be given a meal every day...

for just $34 a month.

And here is where God's provision multiplies.

Children who are not yet sponsored but have been profiled got a meal.

God takes the $34 of the sponsor families and uses that to feed all 250 children in the program.

And then He provides some left over to feed a few that have not been profiled.

Just think what God could do in this community if we were able to not only get all 250 children who have been profiled sponsored... but all the children under both trees!

Children who are too young for the program could be fed.

More disciplers, who teach them of God's love and the word, could be hired.

Teachers could be given more support.

School books could be purchased.

Desks could be made/purchased.

Grandmothers, widows, raising many orphans, could be helped.

The first aid box could be stocked and small wounds would not turn into massive infections.

Children could be taught skills and crafts.

Teens could go to high school.

Community gardens could flourish.

Hope could explode and life could flourish instead of try to survive.

Thirty four dollars... a month... for all of that.

Three large one topping pizzas- $34

One dinner for four at Moe's- $34

One pair of pants on sale at Ann Taylor- $34

One week worths of Starbucks for many people- $34

Three bottles of cheap wine- $34

Two music cd's- $34

One pair of tennis shoes- $34

-OR-

~~changing a child's life~~, ~~changing a communities future~~, impacting the kingdom of God...

This happened there today and it will happen again tomorrow.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:9-11~

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. He sets the lonely in families..." Psalm 68:5,6~

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27~

Please let me know if you are interested in becoming a part of God's light reaching out to this community.

(note: the first day we were there, as a treat, the children were given rice instead of posho. They also receive meat once a week on Saturday. Sunday... there is no meal.)

http://www.hopechest.org/

2011-07-25T08:37:00.000-07:00

Vladimirs

My next post about Uganda flooded me this morning when I awoke but I need to post about Vladimirs today, the 9 year old child we are hosting from Latvia. We are so privileged to be a part of the Project 143 summer hosting program. It gives amazing opportunities to older children who need homes... who need love... who need forever families.

Vlad arrived while I was in Uganda and then it took several days to sleep and get back into some sort of routine so this hosting has been different for me than the previous two we have done. It took me a little longer to get my brain back "home" and into the hosting that was already going on!

But Vlad is a PRECIOUS young man. He blooms more and more each day and it is really a sweet thing to watch unfold. I can not even try to imagine what it is like for these kids to board a plane, full of wounds and pain and fear and rejection with sparks of hope flooded with wonder and the unknown.

He has gone from making very little eye contact to making great eye contact. He has gone from not making any attempt to learn, repeat, or try any english words to trying and even saying some on his own. He gets along great with our three children and our little poof ball dog!

He loves to do things with his hands and is pretty active. I guess that is very much little boy! He had so much fun playing with floam the other day and made a flower, a house, a car, and a basket with eggs in it! I was very impressed! :0) He also likes to play Wii and bowling and boxing are his favorite games!

He also loves to swim! He is a good swimmer and loves to race and jump! Very much typical little boy things!! :0)

And one of the most precious things about him is his desire to help. When I am in the kitchen, he comes in and wants to help cut vegetables, set the table, grate the cheese, or clean up. He also follows Don around in the yard or garage and help him do just about anything. It is precious. It really touches my heart.

So that brings me to the main reason of this post. Vladimirs is available for adoption. And he needs a family.

This is an alert for some serious honesty: Don and I are prayerful. We know we can not host or adopt all the children that need us. We also know that God will lead us in His will as we seek Him and listen for Him and obey Him. At this time, neither of us feel led or moved to adopt him. Ouch. That is kinda hard to say but it is the truth. The only reason is that we don't hear God calling us to do so. And THAT is what drives us... moves us.

But we are a part of the puzzle. We are a piece of the plan. And God has made it clear... we are a voice for these children. We are a voice for Vladimirs. And he needs a home.

If you are interested, please email me or call me. allfromhim@comcast.net is my email address.

If you know of someone who may be interested, please share this post with them.

And please pray. I know God has a family for Vladimirs. I know there are major blessings getting ready to unfold. And I know that pray moves the heavens. Please pray for God's will to move in a manner that brings Him amazing glory and changes this precious little one's life!

2011-07-23T13:14:00.000-07:00

There is a land...

There is a land. There is a land where hundreds of feet of precious children run to gather beneath a large mango tree when the bus comes into view. In this land, the beautiful sound of song from voices so sweet fill the air before you even step foot upon her. And in this land, faces shine with deep emotion that knows no boundary... hope, caution, wonder, pain, joy, anger, excitement, humility, spunk, sadness, hunger, contentment, survival... love. There is a land... her name is Uganda... and I love her with the depths of my heart.

THIS is what we were created to do... to worship the Father of all creation by loving and serving His people. THIS is where the Holy Spirit soars on the wind and dances in your spirit. THIS is where God can really show off... just for you and for His glory! This is where raw need crashes into His provision in such splendor it can leave you on your knees... in wonder, humility, and deep, deep thankfulness... leaving His joy lingering on you like rain drops from heaven. THIS is where God can stand before you in His glory and it takes everything in you to remain standing. THIS is where I fell totally in love with being a simple vessel... a clay pot... to allow the overflowing of His living water.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine...

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you...

When you pass through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze...

For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior... " Isaiah 43: 1-3~

There is a land. There is a land where young girls bring you a new baby and ask you to pray over her. There is a land where the Holy Spirit whispers special prayers that are meant only for the Father to understand. Prayers that leave me overflowing in tears to witness.

And in this land, babies smell sweet like fresh powder and suck their fists. They lie quietly in your arms and soak in their prayer like a personal lullaby.

In this land... children smile with faces full of joy and love... against all odds... and soak in the Father's touch and love like tiny little sponges.

Oh... this land of Uganda... Adacar, Uganda. I think I am ready to take you there... one post at a time. To the God of all creation be every drop of the glory!

2011-07-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday My Sunshine...

Today is your birthday... ten years old. Happy birthday my ladybug, my sunshine, my love.

Wasn't it just yesterday that you came into the room... into my life... and walked over, turned around, and sat gently in my lap... gripping a cookie in each hand and hesitating to make eye contact? I can still remember the weight of your tiny little bottom and the smell of your hair.

In our eight years together... we have become entwined as we have walked through many storms and faced many challenges. You have blown me away with your strength and determination. You make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me stronger... and you walk me into the throne room before our Father on a daily basis.

Your excitement for your birthday was pure, deep, and long suffering as you have counted the days for months! I have never seen another child wait for her day with such anticipation. And oh how you deserve to be celebrated. Your very life is a living testimony to God's great power and mercy. To Him be all the glory for everything you are and will become!

I think about our journey to you and am humbled by God's hand guiding us to you... in His time and with His knowledge! I think about our journey with you and I am filled with thankfulness for the gift you are and for the gift you give us each day.

You are my ladybug and my sunshine...

and I love you with every ounce of my being...

I pray God's hand of protection to cover you...

and for the breath of His spirit to fill you...

and for the love of His Son to transform you.

Happy Birthday my Abby Grace...

2011-07-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

The Beginning...

There is so much to say, so much not to say, so much to figure out, so much to wonder, so much... just so much. The trip was BIG...that is about the only word I can use to contain all that it was and remains to be.
Not being able to blog from there leaves me going through pictures and thoughts and notes and starting with baby steps... we'll see where we get from there!

My ride came to get me at 3:00 a.m. on July 2nd. It was the first hour of a very long trip. This is Jan... she and her husband were my ride and she was a very fun part of the team. I am so happy to have had the chance to get to know her and share the trip with her and her son.

After our 5:45 a.m. flight to DC... we learned string games to share with the kids as we sat for our first layover. From there were left for Addis Abba, Ethiopia... I think it was ~~130~~ 13 hours with NO sleep and screaming kids two rows in front of us. Nice. :0) This was followed by another layover in a room with NO circulation and VERY little air and no water... and then we were off to Uganda.

And we arrived! It was by grace alone I could walk. We quickly got aboard the bus... our bus.

This bus would become one of our havens... a place of rest... a place for thought and prayer... and a place where we spent a LOT of time! After a three hour bus ride in this...

we arrived at our hotel for one night of rest before our 6 hour bus ride the next day to our second stop along the way... Soroti. I slept like I had been hit by a bus full of tired missionaries with hearts full of passion, wonder, and love and a million suitcases! Here is some of what we passed on the way there... (forgive the blur on some... we were traveling pretty fast during several moments of transit!)

This is the Nile River... this was right outside our hotel for the first night. It was beautiful... as is so much of Uganda.

2011-07-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

Arrival...

We are here and are so thankful that all 22 checked bags arrived with us!! Travel was Loooonnnngggggggg. I left the house at 3:00 a.m. Saturday and we arrived around 9 p.m. Sunday night. I was running on 3 hours of sleep. Wow. God's strength is the only thing that kept me on my feet!

Our team is amazing and everyone is doing well. We just had breakfast and are getting ready to have devotion and a little presentation from one of the Hope Chest reps.

There are so many things to say but my time online is very limited. The air here is different... it is lighter! The people are super friendly. There is dirt... dark red dirt...everywhere! There is a smokiness in the air that is also everywhere.

We travel today to a town closer to the village we will be visiting each day. We won't be there until tomorrow.
I am very anxious to be there! :0)

I send my love to my family and to my friends who are so faithful in their prayers for me and the team. My second trial came this morning as I discovered my entire quart bag of medications I brought is gone. There is one hope that it is on the bus. If not, there is a team member that has some extra malaria pills that I can use! In addition, I will rely on the ONE who brought me here safely to keep me safe and bring me home safely.

To my chillies at home... I love you dearly and think of you often! To my precious husband... I love you crazy!!

2011-06-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

Two more days...

I am so humbled as the days slowly/quickly go by and July 2nd draws near. There remains this quiet excitement... a knowing... and a smile. I can not wait to see my creator, savior, father, and Lord in Africa. I know I will see Him... everywhere.

I can not comprehend what it will be like to hold my sponsored child in my arms and pray over him. Or to hold the hand of a woman... a widow... and pray for God to renew her. I can not imagine what it will be like to sing praises to the Lord with these precious people. I can not grasp or dare I even try to, what He has in store... what lies ahead. But Oh I can't wait to soak it in.

Hopefully, soon, I will feel like I am almost ready...

2011-06-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

It's JUST a zip lock bag...

No, no it's not. It's hope. It's love. It's fun. It's Christ. Yes. I said that... it's Christ.

It is traveling across the ocean in the hands of people who are reflecting Christ's love for the receiver... a child.

It was packed by a person Christ touched to enter this child's life. A person who listens and obeys the prompting of Christ through the Holy Spirit is Christ's hands... His feet... His love.

It is simply amazing me... how much can fit into a gallon zip lock bag. You should try it.

A photo album of the family loving and praying for this child. A family who is now feeding and providing medical attention to this child. A family who is sharing $34 dollars a month to change this child's life... this child's future. A family who will write and tell this child about Christ's love for them... and will encourage them and build them up... make them smile. A family who is reflecting Christ.

A jump rope fits inside easily... along with bandaids, soap, chap stick, gum, pencils, beads, beading string, and paper. A jump rope that will allow many, many, many children to take turns and... simply... play. A jump rope that will lead to laughter and games.

It can hold a t-shirt that doesn't have one hole in it... not one. It is not ripped or torn. One t-shirt. A t-shirt that is bright and clean. It holds a small coloring book and markers. Crazy fun glasses with large eye balls that will definitely cause a roar of laughter are safe inside too!

It holds silly bands... little bracelets that are cute shapes and fun colors. It hold tissue for their noses and hand sanitizer.

And when this sweet little child gets their zip lock bag... they will be touched. They will smile... BIG. They may giggle and some may cry. And they will be flooded with the love of Christ.

HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO BE ABLE TO SHARE HIM!

2011-06-17T11:45:00.000-07:00

Africa and More Pics...

I leave for Africa in 15 days. Wow. To say the trip has arrived so quickly is an understatement!
I have just 11 more children to get sponsored and my 25 will be sponsored and "in" loving families! :0)
I am so excited. It's a strange excitement. I don't know quite what to expect... but I know God will be there and that excites me more than anything. Your prayers for my trip are so greatly appreciated!

And here are some more pictures from the beach trip. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend celebrating fathers!

2011-06-14T15:33:00.000-07:00

Seaside 2011

There is just something so wonderful about warm sand between your toes, salty skin, and the crashing of the waves... oh... did I mention the smell of the sea in the air!? I-LOVE-IT!

It makes me so happy to be there. It could be that we are simply on vacation and in vacation mode... but I do think the ocean, the breeze, the sand, and the sun have something to do with it!

The kids seem to really love it too. Abby LOVES it. I noticed while we were there, that she seemed calmer... and she is nonstop in the sand and water!

The sun was way low and so my shutter was staying open way long since I am a no flash girl and so this is a bit blurry... so sad... but I like it anyway. Sweet girls. :0)

Everyone played in the sand and we made numerous sand castles! Taylor was way stoked when she saw people stopping to take pictures of one she and daddy made one day... actually... as we showered off on the boardwalk... several families stopped and took pictures and she just beamed with joy!

All of us boogied and biked and played hard. Here are some highlights...

OK... I am sure that is enough for one post... I'll share more and the more "artistic ones" in the next day or so... but here is a teaser...

2011-06-13T16:00:00.000-07:00

My Little Mockingbird

We are back from our week long trip to the beach. I think it was the fastest week that has blown by this year.

I need to download pictures from the week and I will... but I want to steal just a few moments to tell you about a sweet moment that lingers in my heart.

Last Thursday, Taylor came in from taking Dusty outside to do some business and she told me she had seen a bird lying under a bush. She told me she thought it was dead. Well, of course, there is no way I could just let that go... and so I asked her to take me to where it was.

She took me outside to a tree actually... a tree with lots of undergrowth woven beneath it and there was a sweet little mockingbird... lying there... still... but breathing. As I approached it, it started flapping it's wings and was trying to get further beneath the protection of the undergrowth. It got itself jammed in between two branches... it was stuck.

I crawled beneath the branches and got a hold of this fragile and precious creation as gently as I could and pulled it out and into my hands. And it simply sat there and looked at me.

I started looking it over and the only thing I could see wrong was it's legs were curled under... neither of his/her legs were working. My heart sank as I realized that hydrating was not what it needed and then of course the big question... "What do we do now?"

My sweet husband, who knows my heart for God's precious creations, got the phone book and found a wildlife rescue group and a woman was on her way to get my bird. It would take her 30 minutes to get there. And so I went to the balcony and held my new baby and prayed for it.

It's heavy breathing calmed and I began to sing to it...

"Jesus loves you... this I know... for the Bible tells me so...

little ones to Him belong... they are weak... but He is strong."

It watched me... and followed me with it's tiny little head.

And he/she fell asleep in my hands... and tears fell from my cheeks.

I know this may seem silly.

It's a bird.

But it was hurt.

It was alone.

It was helpless.

And God let me love on it.

God let me comfort it.

God let me hold it.

God let me feel His heart for what He had created and for what was wounded.

And it was comforted.

And it felt love.

And it trusted me.

And it fell asleep in my hands.

And it was precious.

It was a precious moment that lingers on me.

The bird lady arrived.

Her name is Diane.

She is my hero.

She had three baby birds in her car that she was in the process of helping.

That is what she does.

She gives of herself and she drives 30 minutes to get a bird from a couple on vacation.

My bird died that night.

Diane thinks it was something viral.

My heart sank again.

Oh how I had hoped that food and water and quiet would renew it's strength.

Oh how I wished she would drive back and we could see it fly away before we came home.

But that didn't happen.

But God gave me a sweet and precious little moment.

We are His creations.

We are wounded and we are left to feel so alone sometimes.

We run and try to hide in the undergrowth of "busy"ness and distractions.

And He ever so gently reaches in and pulls us free and holds us in His hands.

And then He sings to us... with His Spirit.

And if we trust Him, we can relax and fall asleep in His hands.

I am forever thankful for such a sweet opportunity.

I am forever thankful for a Father who will come and find me.

I am so thankful for that little bird... and I really miss him/her.

2011-05-30T19:24:00.000-07:00

Let Summer Begin...

The girls on the last day of school...

I can NOT believe the school year is over. Every year flies by faster than the one before and the kids keep growing and I get new age spots... like the one taking over my left eyelid!

We are already totally enjoying the relaxing schedule of no school! We have enjoyed late mornings at the pool followed by a big late lunch followed by an afternoon nap and then more fun and a late dinner. It is amazing how much more fluid the day is without running about on a schedule. I LOVE IT!

In honor of the last day of school, here are some long over due pictures of the girl's Spring Fling this year. It was really cute and they had a blast.

Starting off with a little square dancing...

T and one of her best friends... sweet girls!

Marc's favorite activity... chowin down!

Abby bobbin around the tree for an apple... I was impressed!

"Pie" eatting contest that consisted of being the first to "find" a jelly bean in the whip cream!

Abby found hers before I did!

Then the REAL fun began... and it involved a little bull!

My fearless girl was ALL about it!

This little bull rider was very happy with herself and I was glad she didn't get hurt!

This little one needs a little encouragement with it comes to adventure... but with some reassuring and cheering from mommy... she went for it too!

I LOVE her face and her foot gripping on in this shot! She was having a blast!

She hung on for a good long while and then...

She went DOWNNNN!!!!!!! It was great and she was very glad she did it! :0)

Marc scootered around most of the time and he and Dusty looked for food on the ground!

Afterwards... a little stop at Rita's for a TREAT!

It was a good good good night! We are so lucky and blessed... we get a lot of those! :0) And so many more to come...

2011-05-27T13:30:00.000-07:00

Come Undone

Today was the last day of school. The day started out with promise. It started out with cinnamon rolls and a bowl full of cherries.

Then something happened. Something snapped. And every speck of dirt in the house started screaming at me. I saw it everywhere. On the door to Abby's bedroom, on the cabinets, on the fridge, on the floor, on the bathroom mirrors... and I started to come undone. The feeling of weariness started coming in the spaces inside that were just previously filled with joy. And I started getting crankie.

As we tried to leave for the school, the garage door won't close. After numerous attempts, I finally had to keep my finger on the button until it was all the way closed, go back inside, walk out the back door to only walk out the gate that is still lying on the ground because it no longer fits the fence since the new sidewalk has been put in. As I go to pick it up, it bangs into my shin and my hand gets covered with fabulous red Georgia dirt. And I come undone.

As I sit in the kitchen floor, wiping cabinets with clorox wipes and holding back tears, I think about a blog that gives me hope and encourages me almost daily... A Holy Experience. There is a link on the right side of my blog.

So I leave my wipes and head to the computer... hoping that she can help me get through this moment... because she overflows with His light... and I wanted to sit before it for just a moment. And in a sweet gesture from my Father... her post today spoke to me unlike it would on any other day. She, too, comes undone and she shared it... and she shared how the Spirit walked her through it.

And I hear Him say to me... "It will be ok," and "You are not alone."

Some of the same words my husband spoke to me as he walked out the door to go to work.

"It will be ok."

And I believe them.

2011-05-25T06:25:00.000-07:00

And He saw it was good...

I found two tiny tiny baby birds in the back yard last night, dead. I was so full of sadness. Something must have gotten to the eggs, as one was still in a tiny little ball. I went inside to get a paper towel and my heart just flooded with how these tiny creatures were "safe" inside their egg, growing, living, getting ready to sing a song God placed deep in their knowing... and an enemy came and took it all away... and they were helpless. And I was heartbroken. I was sad for the mommy bird who returned to her nest to find it empty.

"And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. God made the wild animals, each according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw it was good." Genesis 1:24,25~

Life. Beautiful life that God created... they give glory to Him by their very presence. Oh how I long for eternity where harmony will lie over animals like the warm soft blanket of God's love.

"The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them." Isaiah 11:6~

Lord, I praise you and thank you for the animals you have created. I thank you for the tenderness, strength, emotion, and love they possess and share. I marvel at the endless variety you have given us. I marvel at the joy they bring my soul. I see you all over them... all in them... and all around them. I am so thankful for the deep appreciation for them you have planted deep inside me, for I know it is a reflection of your heart... a piece of you. I mourn at the ways man can disrespect, hurt, abuse, and destroy them. Dominion or not... you never intended such horrible misuse of your creation. And I know you do not overlook it. Justice is yours. But my heart still mourns.

I can't wait to be the zoo keeper of heaven... the zoo with no cages and no walls... just precious animals and peace!

"Praise the LORD from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do His bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds... Let them praise the name of the LORD, for His name alone is exalted; His splendor is above the earth and heavens." Psalm 148:7-10 and 13 ~

P.S. Thank you for my Dusty Poof... I love the way you love me through him!

2011-05-24T16:37:00.000-07:00

Fun, Fun, and more Fun...

I seriously need to reveal the back yard soon... and I will. But since no one has left me a comment in eons, I guess no one is reading anymore and so there is no rush on the reveal! :0)

In the meantime, here is my dream project for the backyard now...

I would never leave... it would be like having vacation in your backyard. I'd have a daybed in there along with a wooden dinning table and chairs and some lovely wicker furniture. And then I would never leave!

I can't believe summer is just moments away. Where has the year gone!? I am excited to do some really fun things with the kids this summer. Here is one fun little activity and treat...

as well as making these with a large hole punch and paint chips...

in pinks, fresh greens and orange and yellows of course!

I can't wait! Got to go move the sprinkler...